


bakit ikaw ang napili

by seuljhi, svtfiloficfest



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Fluff and Humor, Law School, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Plot Twists, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seuljhi/pseuds/seuljhi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/svtfiloficfest/pseuds/svtfiloficfest
Summary: Parehong abogado si Wonwoo at Mingyu na palaging magkaribal sa law school but they made a deal. Then six years later, they finally face each other again as Prosecutor and Attorney like they used to dream.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo & Kim Mingyu, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Comments: 28
Kudos: 64





	1. parang ika'y bula naglaho

**Author's Note:**

> **PROMPT:** LOMI184  
>  **OPM:** Porque - Maldita  
>  **Disclaimer: Hindi ang svtfiloficfest o mga mod ang mga manunulat ng kathang ito. Ang mga may-akda ay ita-tag sa araw ng reveals (tatlong araw pagkatapos ma-post ang lahat ng akda.)** Ang mga karakter sa kathang ito ay nakabase sa sariling paglalarawan ng may-akda at hindi nito nirerepresenta kung sino ang mga artista sa kanilang totoong buhay. Hindi layunin ng may-akda ang saktan sila, ang kanilang mga pamilya, o kanilang mga kaibigan. Ang kathang ito at ang mga orihinal na karakter ay pag-aari ng may akda.
> 
> **Note ni Otor:**
> 
> **DISCLAIMER** : I am not in the legal profession so this may contain inaccuracies but with my knowledge from others and what I already know as an aspiring lawyer, I tried my best to study again and research but please po, huwag niyo ako isumbong. Charot. If you are a law student or a lawyer reading this, when reveals happen, do please give me a nudge so I can be more knowledgeable about what I've written and change things.
> 
>  **Re: CONTENT** : Baka mabigat sa iba. Ngayon palang sasabihin ko na there will be mentions of real places, real schools, etc. but please don't take them here seriously. This is all fiction. Or at least, be responsible in reading. May mention din ng fraternities, death, abuse, etc. so please, if hindi niyo kaya isikmura iyon, feel free not to read. Also, one thing you need to know about this world is that legal na ang same-sex marriage but not divorce. Wala din jury system dito sa Pilipinas so I used it instead of the bench trial we have! So hindi talaga 'to super realistic.
> 
> Thank you so much to my Beta, ate J. She helped me so much with this one and I couldn't have finished this without her help. To be honest, hindi ito iyong original kong plano with the lack of time I have but thank you parin kung naabot mo ang dulo. Sasabihin ko ngayon palang, sobrang iba ito sa original prompt. I twisted it so much and had fun. Salamat sa Mods for making this fest and giving me an opportunity to practice what I love doing and give me a platform to share it. Sorry ang haba.
> 
> Title taken from the lyrics of the OPM/Spanish song, Porque by Maldita, bakit ikaw ang napili. It will make sense sa dulo. Kunin at tanggapin ang alay na ito.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> six years nang late si prosecutor kim.

He was going to step once again inside the pits of hell—este, _law school_.

His BMW was agaw atensyon, the lawyer noticed, but hindi niya pinansin ang mga tingin from the zombie walking law students or passerbys, was giving his car.

Maganda naman talaga si Jane—his car that he named after his surname, with her sleek black proportions and dark glass coated skin, ang kotse niyang mamahalin at pinangalanan. She was the lawyer’s pride and joy, ang bunga ng kanyang pagmamalasakit sa pagiging alipin ng batas.

Ika nga ng kanyang paboritong Justice, si Justice Choi, a Justice also in the SC, back from the years he was still practicing: _hell now, heaven later_. True to his saying, nagkandarapa-rapa niyang sinurvive law school, worked smart to where he is now.

Kaya nagbigay simpatya siya sa mga tanaw niyang mga estudyanteng naglalakad na mukhang isang pitik ay pabagsak na.

Masyadong malawak ang saklaw ng batas, wala ka pa sa kalahating pagbabasa, not even close, makikita mo na ang pagsikat ng araw sa buong gabi mong pagbabasa ng walong case studies pa lang out of twenty five.

Then you have recitation the next day only to find out hindi niyo ito itatackle but only the basic concepts? _Gabayan niyo ang mga batang ito_. He could only pray for them.

Nakaligtaan ng abogado ang palapit na lalaki sa kanyang kotse kaya nang may kumatok ng _knock, knock, knock knock, knock_ , he blinked up in surprise. Matangkad na lalaki ang nakaabang sa labas ng kanyang bintana, crouched down to the level of his low leveled car.

The view is a familiar face he hasn’t seen in years, nakangiti at sabay nag peace sign.

Binaba ni Wonwoo ang kanyang tintadong bintana.

“Ayos kotse mo ah, _brodie_ ,” unang bati nito.

Napataas ng kilay si Wonwoo. Uso pa sa kanila ang word na brodie? Hindi na bagay kay Soonyoung Kwon sa edad niyang thirty but old mannerisms didn’t change.

He gave his _brod_ a polite smile.

Matagal tagal na rin sila hindi nagkikita. Walang nagbago kay Soonyoung maliban sa mas nagkaroon lang siya ng mga linya sa mata pag ngumingiti but other than that, his friend was still fresh and young looking.

Wonwoo has also heard a lot tungkol sa kanya sa ilang taon nilang hindi pagkikita. Isa rin si Soonyoung sa mga top notchers nung nag BAR sila nang sabay years ago.

Parehas silang pumasa ng isang kuha, Soonyoung was top four, at tinuloy nito ang legasiya ng pagiging isa sa mga halimaw na abogado when back in law school, malaki ang impact na iniwan niya in the companies that he interned in.

Kung hindi rin nagkakamali si Wonwoo, Soonyoung had a wide audience online. Kilala siya bilang isa sa mga human rights lawyer at madalas na BAR coach sa UP na kinakahangaan ng karamihan ng kabataan.

Minsan nagugulat nalang si Wonwoo may mukha ni Soonyoung Kwon sa facebook timeline niya sa mga famous linyahan niya na nag viral like “ _I want my future generation to feel safe so I always start the first step by fighting this broken system I am in by being pro-people. I do not succumb to any power but the law that is always to defend the people oppressed by this society and broken Justice system_ ” at pag tumitingin siya sa mga comments, it was mostly the youth giving praises and support.

Those lines struck a chord in Wonwoo every damn time. Kung gaano siya katanga rati with his idealistic ideologies back then. Marahas ang larangan na pinasok niya. He doesn’t even want to talk about it.

He often questions kung bakit Soonyoung was willing to put himself in a spotlight subjected to scrutiny. Mga criminal lawyers like them were not advised to be in that position. He doesn’t like the limelight anyways but back in law school, Soonyoung did.

It’s obvious he still did but he used it for a great cause. Mataas ang respeto ni Wonwoo para sa kanya.

“I thought we’d still see each other in the latter days of the orientation?” Tanong ni Wonwoo sa kaibigan at hindi niya naiwasang ngumiwi. Ayan, he sounded too formal. He tries to loosen up kaya ngumiti siya ulit ng mas relaxed, his fingers tapping in the wheel.

“Sorry, akala ko mga ilang araw ka pa?”

Tumayo ng maayos ang abogadong nasa labas at magkabilang hinawakan ang bewang, sinulyapan ang building na nasa harapan nila, singkit ang mga mata sa araw na nakakasilaw. _SSR College of law_. Wonwoo follows his line of vision and nostalgia yet again fills him.

Hindi masyado nagbago ang exterior ng building. Maybe nabigyan ulit ng bagong pintura here and there in the years at pag rerenovate ng mga cracks sa pillars to preserve the victorian, church style. It’s still blue as the sky that surrounds it.

Bumuntong hininga ang kaibigan niya at may ngiti. Ngiting nakakapagduda kung hindi mo kaibigan ang abogado na ‘to. Nasa kanya ulit ang tingin ni Soonyoung. Ulit, tinging nakakapagduda kapag hindi mo kilala si Soonyoung Kwon. “Ayoko palampasin ang araw na ‘to, brother.”

“It’s just orientation, Kwon,” madaling lumabas sa kanyang dila ang palagi niyang tinatawag na pangalan for Soonyoung before. Wonwoo was squinting as well dahil sa araw na masyadong maliwanag as he stared up at Soonyoung.

“Exactly, _Uno_. It’s orientation.”

Parang nawala lang iyong gap na hindi sila nagkita for years. It was easy to remove that gap when they were just really friends who had a low maintenance relationship ever since law school. They were there for each other simula nung first to fourth year. They had seen the worst of each other.

“O-kay,” Wonwoo drawls, tumango ng dahan dahan at pinabayaan nalang si Soonyoung. Hanggang ngayon, he still can’t predict him.

“Ano? Hindi ka pa ba lalabas?” Tiningnan ni Soonyoung ang relos niya at may ngiwi sa labi, mukhang init na init na rin. Nakapolo lang ito na puti na may maliit na kabayo sa kanang dibdib, hapit ang mga manggas sa biyas at nakabukas ang dalawang botones. Dala dala rin niya laptop bag niya.

Wonwoo knows Soonyoung was richer than him pero simple lang ito manamit kung hindi mo titingnan ang kumikinang niyang Rolex na blue and gold nung inangat niya ito para tumingin sa oras. “It’s two already.”

Kinapa ni Wonwoo ang pindutan sa pintuan niya to roll up his window. Soonyoung patiently waits for him outside and inayos niya muna casefile na dala dala niya bago niya pinatay ang makina ni Jane at kinuha ang kanyang mobile phone sa cupholder.

Nakakapaso ang init sa labas kaya madaling linock ni Wonwoo kotse niya pagkalabas at sabay silang naglakad ni Soonyoung papasok ng Baste. Hindi naman bulag si Wonwoo sa mga tingin na ibinibigay sa kanila ng mga estudyante. Some were secretly whispering but he just glances at them blankly.

They were two good looking and tall guys and Soonyoung was a famous lawyer. Hindi imposibleng hindi sila tingnan.

Wonwoo felt kind of uncomfortable pero hindi niya ipinakita. If being a lawyer has taught him anything, he shouldn’t bend over to anything. In fear or power. He will only be another puppet if he succumbs to the poison of the rotten.

God only knows how hard it is to get back up from drowning in the system as he had seen over the years. Mabuti nalang he knew how to work smart and around.

Kaya kagaya ni Soonyoung, isa sila sa mga taong kinasusuklaman ng kapwang mga abogado. It’s a mess inside this profession pero ginusto niya ito.

Kahit ba na he’s been a lawyer for years with scrutinizing eyes of the jury in his trials, ayaw niya ng atensyon outside his profession, but because of his good looks, he learned to live with it. Hindi siya mahangin, by all means, _voir dire_.

“Mukha kang natatae, brother,” sabi ni Soonyoung ng may aliw nang nakarating sila sa double glass doors ng main building. Siniko niya si Wonwoo ng mahina. “Loosen up. Hindi ka na estudyante.”

“Ina mo, Kwon,” bulong ni Wonwoo sa ilalim ng kanyang hininga. “Pitong taon na akong abogado.” He did look like a student ngayon dahil sa kanyang pormahan. Wonwoo was just wearing a fit black shirt and fit maong pants that reached his ankles with white sneakers.

“Ina ko maganda at ilang taon ka na niloloko ng sistema kamo,” Soonyoung laughs.

Umirap si Wonwoo but hindi niya idedeny. Mahirap parin kalabanin ang sistema. Mahirap kung mismong mga tao rin na dapat lumalaban para dito ay ang kalaban mo at ang tumututol dito.

Kahit tumawa si Soonyoung sa sarili niyang joke, alam ni Wonwoo ang pandidilim ng mata nito behind the amusement. Napailing nalang siya. Kailangan nila uminom sometime after a trial.

“Ano gagawin?” tanong niya nang pagbuksan siya ni Soonyoung ng pintuan. Air condition immediately nipped their skin at malaki ang pagbabago na kita ni Wonwoo in his alumni school.

It’s been a long time since he was last here. A lot has changed but the memories he made in this place ay hindi nawala. Especially kung may constant reminder palagi in the form of a tall, dark, and handsome prosecutor na nakakasalubong niya inside and outside work especially these days.

Siya ang constant sakit sa ulo kay Wonwoo sa loob ng isang taong bumalik ito. Lechugas naman. Siya talaga ang naalala niya in this place when hindi naman siya dapat ang nasa isipan nito! Wonwoo scowls.

Napansin naman kaagad ng isang abogado. “Bakit ka na nakasimangot?” Natawa na naman si Soonyoung dahil nagshift na talaga mood ni Wonwoo with the expression on his face. “May naaalala ka, yes?”

Soonyoung still knows Wonwoo sa likod ng kanyang palad.

Nasa lobby na sila ngayon, may reception na sa may gitna, which was still the same old but with a different personnel, surrounded by mass of people at marami sa kanila was shamingly staring at them.

His nose could still pick up the familiar smell of the air within the halls. It’s those old smells that alam mong sobrang luma na ng building at iyong pagkainit sa loob. Kaya Wonwoo only opted na magsuot casually.

Mas nairita lang ang inaasar na abogado kaya binatukan nalang ni Wonwoo si Soonyoung nang mahina sa likod ng batok with a karate chop.

“Hindi mo dineny, brother,” halakhak ni Soonyoung pang ilang beses na at naghalukipkip ng braso habang nakatayo sila sa gilid. He was too loud, Wonwoo wanted to apologize sa mga katabi nila.

“I have the right to remain silent,” Wonwoo could only say.

Wonwoo grimaces sa tunog ng hagikhik ni Soonyoung na parang may plema sa likod ng lalamunan niya. Until now ang panget parin tumawa ng kaibigan niya lalo na pag nangaasar ito.

“Gago, hindi naman kita kinakasuhan ha.” Sobrang aliw ni Soonyoung at tinitingnan niya si Wonwoo with an annoying curl in his lip like a cat.

“You are,” balik ni Wonwoo, itinaas ang kanyang salamin sa ilong. Inalis niya ang tingin niya kay Soonyoung and only ahead in the unti-unting nababawasan na tao dahil pumapasok na sila sa mga halls.

“Sala na pala ngayon ang nag-iisip kay crush?”

Halos mapabalikwas ang abogado sa kinatatayuan niya because Soonyoung Kwon used that _word_. “ _Bulok_ , trenta na tayo, feeling bagets ka parin sa mga ginagamit mong mga salita, _amputa_ ,” makulay na ani Wonwoo.

Nagkibit-balikat si Attorney Kwon, medyo nag tone down na rin sa wakas ang pagkaligalig niya, but he’s still very much amused. “I am an advocate of the youth, Attorney. Syempre kailangan ko parin makisakay sa mga anak ko.”

Soonyoung was really feeling his “father figure” role to the younger masses, huh? Wonwoo thought.

Bago pa magsalita si Wonwoo biglang may lumapit sa kanila na matandang lalaki who was given way by other students and both of the lawyers react almost immediately.

Parehas na umayos ng tayo si Wonwoo at Soonyoung and bowed their heads in respect.

“Justice Choi,” sabay nilang bati synchronized.

The school may have physically changed over time but there are things that didn’t within its ground. At that moment, naramdaman ni Wonwoo na he was back in law school all over again with Soonyoung.

Gwapo parin ang matandang lalaki kahit marami rami na rin ang mga linya sa kanyang mukha. Halos mukhang tumanda lang siya ng isang taon sa isang dosenang taon kilala ito ni Wonwoo at Soonyoung. He’s already 58. Imortal ba si Justice? Muntikan na lumabas sa dila ni Wonwoo ang kwestyon.

“My old students! It is so nice to see you.” Malalim ang boses ni Justice Siwon Choi at hanggang ngayon, tumatayo parin ang balahibo ni Wonwoo. Mabiro si Justice Choi pero he was just as hindi mapagpatawad in trial.

As usual, Justice Choi was warm and welcoming to him pag nagkikita sila outside. Ever since he passed the BAR, hindi na mahigpit si Justice sa kanya unlike in law school kung saan, believe it or not, muntikan na ni Justice siya hindi ipasa because of the curve and cut off.

Nowadays, he treats Wonwoo lunches paminsan minsan pag hindi sila busy sa BGC or they bump into each other at the SC. A lot knew they were personal friends after law school.

Si Soonyoung ang nanguna makipagkamayan sa Justice. Their handshake was firm and as well as Wonwoo’s nung silang dalawa na. Naramdaman ni Wonwoo na parang may hindi siya alam dahil tiningnan siya ni Justice na parang may alam siya na hindi niya alam.

“Thank you for coming in short notice,” Justice Siwon says, “The three were not available so kayong tatlo ang kinontact ko.” Wonwoo nods with a tight lipped smile, knowing that, but not about na tatlo sila.

Walang bakas sa mukha ni Wonwoo ang kanyang pagduda. He wasn’t informed na may isa pa pala silang kasama for this _alumni talk_. Ang alam niya lang galing sa email ng secretary ni Justice is the first three na inimbitahan ni Justice were not available.

He thought silang dalawa lang ni Soonyoung he guesses not… Sandali nga.

Tiningnan ni Wonwoo si Soonyoung na may ngising nakakapagduda na naman. Nanliit ang mata niya and alam ni Soonyoung tinitingnan siya pero hindi ito umimik about it.

Kaya ba siya pumunta ng mas maaga? _Alam niya kung sino iyong pangatlo_? Wala namang kaso si Wonwoo na may kasama sila pang iba but Soonyoung was a busy man.

There was a possibility he moved client meetings and readings, maybe even trials, knowing the lawyer’s crazy ass. Malalaman din ni Wonwoo mamaya.

“I take it you didn’t read the whole email, Wonwoo,” sabi ni Justice Siwon sa kanya, disrupting his thoughts.

“Justice?” Wonwoo asked, taken aback.

Paano niya nalaman iyon?

“I am not a Justice for nothing,” Justice Siwon Choi boasts. Gusto ni Wonwoo magkamot ng batok. Soonyoung snorts. “Magaling ako bumasa ng tao, Attorney, at mas lalo na pag dating sayo.”

“You’ve always been a lazy reader back in the days, Uno,” gatong pa ni Soonyoung at aliw na tumango si Justice Choi. Kilalang kilala nila si Wonwoo at hindi niya alam kung ano mararamdaman niya about it.

“I only skimmed,” iyon lang tanging paliwanag niya because iyon naman ang totoo anyways. He was at the DOJ at that time, handling a pro bono for a man na under trial kung makakakuha ba siya ng probation.

Besides, ano pa point ng pag eexplain niya if it would only sound like an excuse. He learned to live with being practical at hindi magsayang ng oras.

“A’ight then,” Soonyoung chuckled. Justice Choi shrugged with a half smile. “Let’s go, Your Honor?” Tinuro ni Soonyoung ang kanyang palad in the way while bowing a little with a bright smile.

Tumawa si Wonwoo sa ilalim ng hininga niya dahil sa mga theatrics ni Soonyoung. They weren’t really required na tawagin si Justice na Your Honor outside of the court dahil masyadong formal and it was just plain exaggeration right now.

The Justice nodded at tumalikod para mauna sa kanila while Wonwoo pinched Soonyoung’s arm.

“You should’ve read everything to save yourself the headache, Attorney Jeon.”

“What the hell are you saying?” sabi niya habang iniinat ang ulo sa iba’t ibang direksyon.

They pass by the corridors that were once familiar to them at nung tinanong ni Wonwoo kay Soonyoung ano ang ibig sabihin niya ay through the obviously renovated classrooms, through the glass windows, nakita niya may mga estudyante nakatayo and kid you not, the guy looked like he was about to shit his pants.

Tiningnan niya iyong section door.

“Those must be L1’s. Naalala ko ganyan mukha ni Jihoon,” Wonwoo chuckled nang naglalakad sila to outside a once again very familiar quad. Matirik parin ang araw at mainit kaya nanliit nanaman mga mata ni Wonwoo to squint from the glaring rays.

Iyong tanong ni Wonwoo about Soonyoung’s vague warning was forgotten dahil nag grunt si Soonyoung sa tabi niya. Wonwoo looks at him habang ginamit niya ang kamay niya to cover his eyes as a shade.

Nasa open quad na sila ngayon at kitang kita sa may corner ang statue ng patron.

“I heard a name,” Justice Choi says sa harap nila at liningon sila ng saglit. Patuloy sila naglakad around the quad, students bowing as they passed the Justice. “Jihoon Lee? How is he?” tanong niya.

Wonwoo hasn’t heard from him, either. Last he heard the paralegal was going through an annulment. Dapat sasagot siya na hindi niya alam pero naunahan siya ni Justice.

“I know you don’t know Uno because I wasn’t asking you. I’m asking Soonyoung.”

May tunog na lumabas sa likod ng lalamunan nanaman ni Soonyoung habang napataas kilay niya. Tiningnan niya si Soonyoung na ang magkabilang kamay were in his pockets, looking like a grumbling cat.

They weren’t out in a quad anymore since they turned a left to the building sa may shade na and in front of an office that said _Faculty_. Parang kailan lang, nandito siya sa harap nanghihingi ng bagong makakapal na reading materials, Wonwoo stares the door.

Soonyoung hasn’t answered Justice Choi and mas lumalim lang ang curiosity ni Wonwoo.

“Justice, you’re not nice.” Ngayon, hindi na mukhang naaliw si Soonyoung kumpara kanina sa palaging pag asar nito sa kanya. Wonwoo shakes his head. This guy.

Liningon ulit sila ni Justice bago binuksan ang pintuan, revealing a room na puno ng mga cubicles and it’s no surprise, papers are stacked everywhere. As in everywhere na bawa’t sulok may mga makakapal na papel bundled together and manila folders stacked on top of each other.

“When was I ever?”

[3RD YEAR, 2013]

The tanned male na kinakainisan ni Wonwoo asked.

“Anong when were you ever?” umirap siya sa tanong na ibinaling sa kanya. He was not a sight for sore eyes rather magkakasore eyes si Wonwoo sa lalaking ‘to. Sawang sawa na siya makita ang mukha na ‘to pero wala siyang magagawa.

Siya na naman ang partner na naassign sa kanya ni Attorney Park with her annoying shuffle of index cards way para magpairing.

He was just cranky at gusto mapag-isa.

And get this, it wasn’t really needed na may ganitong pairing pero their professor in Remedial Law, Attorney Park was a bubbly woman na gustong gusto talaga ipair silang lahat kasi believer siya na magtutulungan sila sa klase.

Remedial Law was one of the most stress inducing subjects sa totoo lang because it covers about four thick as hell books and is both procedural and substantive in its scope. Wonwoo is a lazy reader but he absorbs everything at a fast pace.

Thanks also to his sirs sa help. Wonwoo didn’t mind pero now he does nang itong lalaki na ‘to sa harap niya ang napili for him randomly—this stupid, intelligent... handsome K9. Argh!

Believe Wonwoo when he says the amount of times na nagbabangayan sila ay enough considered to be a mock trial, excluding the formalities. Then the cuddling after… he shakes his head to focus.

Siya naman din kasi ang pasimuno palagi but you will _never_ hear him admit that. It was his coping mechanism to stress. Arguing is. This is how their relationship works. Siguro sa mata ng ibang tao toxic but for them na law students, it’s a healthy discourse. They needed it.

“When was I ever mean to you?” the guy says with a raised eyebrow, dinilaan ang hinlalaki niya to turn a page of the thick stapled together na papers which was his handwritten digest for their upcoming finals.

Konti nalang… It’s already the BAR.

The guy smirked, one of the qualities Wonwoo hated (and loved) dahil ang cocky cocky nito.

“Sa recits dati,” Wonwoo snaps. Medyo snappy siya ngayon because of the stress.

Nakaupo siya ngayon sa sahig surrounded by his index cards na notes at mga nakabuklat na libro habang nakahiga iyong higante sa bed niya. Very colorful ang words with different set of colors highlighted. Wonwoo was a visual learner so there’s that. They were at his condo unit sa Manila na malapit sa school.

Isa pa ‘yang recitation. Getting line of 7 or low 8s were not in Wonwoo’s index cards pag ibang classmates niya ang pinapatayo rin but for some reason, pag itong lalaki na ‘to ang magdedebunk sa kanya when their professor asks them if what he said was true, sasabit siya almost. _Almost_.

Siya si Wonwoo Jeon so it didn’t happen. He was still always on the top. His QPI was always one of the highest. Next to his but whereas, the male in front of him worked hard, Wonwoo worked _smart_.

“How am I even mean?” This guy… ngayon, Wonwoo wanted to strangle his thick, veiny neck. His audacity na mag mukhang surprise as his eyebrows rose up nung narinig niya ang dahilan ni Wonwoo habang nagbabasa siya.

Wonwoo slams his heavy Riano’s book closed, may pag _thud_ sa sobrang kapal, at binaba ito sa lap niya. “You always get my answers.” Ironic to say when hawak hawak niya ang mga tanong at sagot sa libro niya.

“Your answers were merely lacking. Dinagdagan ko lang,” sabi nito nonchalantly.

“L-Lacking?” Tinanggal ni Wonwoo ang salamin niya at kinusot ang mga mata, bewildered. “ _Me_? Lacking?” He laughs to himself.

“I didn’t say na _you_ were lacking. It was your answers.” He continued reading on his digest, “Difference between Jurisdiction and venue.” Pilosopo! May ngiti pa ito sa kanyang labi where his sharp canines peeked out.

“It’s the same. Jurisdiction is the authority to hear and determine a case while venue is the place where the case is to be heard or tried,” he says.

He nodded, satisfied with Wonwoo’s answers. “Its not… in my books. I do not condone ad hominem, _love_.” Umiling pa ‘to after parang siraulo.

“ _I_ was the one who said it and formulated it so you are attacking _me_.” Talaga bang mag aaway sila about logical fallacies right now?

“Oh?” Tumawa ito sa ilalim ng hininga niya. It was husky. “You said it yourself that _you_ are lacking then when I merely said it was _your answers_. Huwag ako ang kagalitan mo but if you see it that way then…”

[END OF FLASHBACK, PRESENT TIME]

Hindi alam ng abogado kung bakit niya naalala ang memory na iyon from years ago.

It’s scary… and above all, nakakabwisit. It used to remind him so much kung gaano siya hindi nag iisip sa mga salitang binibitawan niya madalas back then when it came to _him_.

“Are you okay?” Hindi sumagot si Wonwoo sa tanong ni Soonyoung.

Nakaupo na sila sa chairs ng auditorium, tanging ilaw lang sa may section nila ang nakabukas kaya medyo madilim dilim at silang tatlo lang nila Justice na nasa harap fixing his powerpoint ang nandoon.

“Para kang inmate sa bilibid na nakatunganga lang sa kawalan,” sabi ni Atty. Kwon as he typed shit into his laptop. Wonwoo doesn’t answer pero tiningnan niya screen ng human rights lawyer.

“ _Gago_.” Nanliit mga mata niya. “Sino ‘yan?”

Nasa chrome si Soonyoung kanina in a chatroom where an unfamiliar guy was the wallpaper pero mabilis na he four swiped his pad to the right para mawala iyong window at napunta sa word. He sideglances the lawyer na nakalabas ang dila sa gilid ng labi habang nagtatype na.

“ _Ano_ _‘_ _yan_ ,” corrected the laywer smoothly. “A case I’m working on. No big… deal…” drawled Soonyoung.

“You’re really gonna commit perjury in front of me?” Wonwoo deadpans dahil nahalata niyang nagsisinungaling ito.

Soonyoung laughed but he had nothing to say.

But si Justice Choi, meron.

“Ah _Prosecutor Kim_ is finally here!”

[1ST YEAR, 2011]

“Sir, I want to be a prosecutor.”

Nagtinginan lahat ng estudyante ng Crim Law II sa kanya na pinatawag ni Justice Choi. Nagsusulat si Wonwoo ng notes noon pero napatigil siya. He didn’t look up but stare at his forced handwriting, waiting.

“Prosecutor, huh?” Malakas ang boses ni Justice Choi nung itinanong niya.

“Yes, sir,” he affirmed.

Bagay nga silang dalawa… na magkaaway, Wonwoo thinks.

He was already decided he wanted to be mostly a criminal defense attorney, at most—which was basically ang opposition ng prosecutor’s office where _he_ wanted to be.

“Why?”

There’s the million dollar question when you go to law school. Bago pa man makasagot, Justice Choi added a follow up sermon.

“And don’t give me a childish answer such as you want the bad guys captured and imprisoned. You are not here to be a bastard, you are here to be _fair_. Remember that the government is not always right and the defense is not always wrong. You cannot be ideologically committed to one side or the other.”

Walang umimik kaya solemn ang silence sa loob ng room, lahat ng estudyante inaabsorb sinabi ni Justice Choi. Kahit si Wonwoo, tahimik.

“Well, Justice, you weren’t about to get that answer, anyway.”

Ngumiti si Wonwoo ng palihim, rolling his eyes. Sobrang confident nito.

“Go on.” Kahit na hindi tumitingin si Wonwoo, alam niyang satisfied na si Justice Choi sa kung ano mang sagot nito.

He didn’t play favorites but Justice Choi knew him. At kung ano man lumabas sa bibig nito, he was so good at speaking, na iyong mga hindi naman totoo akala mo totoo with how convincing he is.

“Sir, like you said, I did not come here in law school to become a cop but to be a prosecutor who is fair.” Snickers came out of students while Wonwoo’s eyes widened behind his glasses. Wala talaga siyang preno kahit kailan!

“ _Mr. Kim_ , wala akong sinabing ganoon,” reprimand ni Justice Choi strictly pero alam ni Wonwoo na he was just as much as amused as the law students sa loob ng kanilang silid.

“Perhaps not, but sir, don’t deny that it isn’t true.” Wonwoo scoffs under his breath. Bagay nga ‘to maging abogado.

“Proceed,” Justice Choi chuckled.

“I’m from a poor family so I know the struggles the people of my social status face. Ako lang nagpapaaral sa sarili ko—” Nagulat si Wonwoo. He hasn’t heard any of this. “—buhay magulang ko pero hindi nila ako kayang pag aralin dahil kami nga ay mahirap lamang.”

“And someone important to me...” malalim na huminga ito.

“Their rights were violated because the prosecution… they were _lacking_.”

Ramdam na ramdam ni Wonwoo ang hinanakit sa boses nito. Lumunok si Wonwoo dahil for some reason, nanuyo ang lalamunan niya. He remembers the time where he met his father and Wonwoo asked kung nasaan nanay niya… was this the answer?

“They gave them a lifetime imprisonment and just for what? Napagkamalan lang siyang kasabwat ng isang sindikatong inaresto nila malapit dahil _bumibili siya ng hapunan_. They should’ve let that person go because of the insufficiency of evidence but they didn’t. With no trial, they imprisoned them.”

_With no trial_ , nagring sa utak ni Wonwoo. _Section 1 of the Constitutional Law that no person shall be deprived of life, liberty or property without due process of law, nor shall any person be denied equal protection of the laws_. Wonwoo recited in his head.

Naramdaman niya sumakit ang ulo niya—at kumirot ang puso. No longer na naririnig niya ang boses nito that always oozed with confidence but he felt as if naririnig niya ang iyak ng mamamayan na biktima ng sistema.

“I can’t let that happen anymore, sir. I don’t want society to suffer more than they already have.”

Wonwoo shook his head subtly. “You can’t change the system but you can try,” mahina niyang sinabi sa kanyang sarili. How many times has he heard this? Gaano na ba kalayo ang narating nila?

“It seems Mr. Jeon has something to say.” Narinig niya pa iyon?

_Fuck his own loud mouth!_ —ang gusto niya sabihin kamo. Binitawan niya fountain pen niya.

Agad na naangat ni Wonwoo ang kanyang ulo sa direksyon ni Justice and subtly, malalim siyang huminga. “You cannot change the system, sir,” sabi niya habang maingat siyang tumayo from his seat.

He doesn’t dare look at him na nakatingin sa kanya at kung siguro yelo siya, natunaw na siya sa nararamdaman niyang pagkainit ng tingin nito sa kanyang mukha. Wonwoo can’t blame him.

“Mr. Jeon, you do know that nagbahagi na nga si Mr. Kim ng isang case that he feels strongly for because it personally hits home then you _still_ have the audacity to argue with him like you usually do? You sound like an asshole to me,” Justice Choi flatly said.

Hindi alam ni Wonwoo ang mga reaksyon ng classmates niya, and frankly, he doesn’t care kahit mapahiya siya but shit. Sinubukan niya rin basahin mukha ni Justice pero nakatingin lang din ito sa kanya nang walang emosyon.

But there was a challenging glint on the old man’s eyes.

Fine. Discussion lang naman ‘to.

“He’ll meet a lot more assholes out there in that system he wants to be in,” Wonwoo bluntly says. _He knows it firsthand and Wonwoo knows_ he _knows that too_. “I am nothing compared to them. Pake nila sa feelings niya?”

“Sige,” rinig ni Wonwoo ang sinabi nito sa kanyang tabi from four chairs beside him dahil ganun lang sila kalayo. “Sabihin natin hindi ko kayang palitan. Kaya _mo_?”

“Mr. Kim,” sabi ni Wonwoo calmly at humarap na sa direksyon nito. Akala niya makikita niya ‘tong may bakas ng galit sa mukha but much to Wonwoo’s surprise, nakangisi na naman ito.

_Fucking asshole_ , akala naman ni Wonwoo nahurt niya feelings nito, pero bakit pa ba siya nagulat?

“Ang sabi ko lang hindi mo kayang _palitan_ ,” diin niya. “Pero kaya mong _baguhin_.” Idealistic? Maybe. _It_ _’_ _s a long way to go but may tiwala ako sayo_ , nasa likod ng isip ni Wonwoo.

Wonwoo is a walking contradiction.

[END OF FLASHBACK, PRESENT TIME]

Inialis agad ni Soonyoung ang laptop niya sa kanyang kandungan and to the other chair beside him para tumayo at batiin ang matangkad na lalaking pumasok. Soonyoung was already expecting him kasi alam niyang ito ang pangatlo nilang kasama.

Unlike Wonwoo, hindi siya makagalaw—dahil sa inis o galit, hindi niya alam. Kakakita niya lang sa kanya months ago, out of all places, hindi work place related, but in a _mall_.

Parehas sila na nasa SM, Wonwoo buying new kitchen appliance for his penthouse at nung pababa na siya ng floor, nakita niya ito sa Men’s section at bumibili ito ng bagong necktie. Wonwoo wanted to laugh at that moment. Why that man bought bundles of his neckties in SM is beyond him.

As usual, tinakbuhan niya ito. He was not ready. Will he ever be? Now walang siyang choice. Nasa sitwasyon na siya hindi niya kayang takbuhan.

“Justice Choi,” malalim ang boses niya sa pagkabati nito sa kanilang dating professor in Criminal Law. “Attorney Kwon.”

Hindi parin nakatingin si Wonwoo pero for sure nakikipagkamayan na itong dalawa sa kaniya. He willed himself to stand up and plaster a tight lipped smile nang humarap ito sa kanya.

This was real life and this wasn’t supposed to be your cliche pelikula with slow motion cinematics but this was Wonwoo’s point of view of a person he used to…

There was only dim lighting in the auditorium but nakabukas ang pintuan na pinagpasukan ng prosecutor kaya may maliwanag na ilaw sa kanyang likod.

Nakikipagkamayan parin ito kay Soonyoung at may madilim na ngisi sa labi, nakikipagusap but every noise fell deaf to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo hated that the man was almost wearing the same outfit as him.

Nainis si Wonwoo sa suot suot nitong black shirt na yakap yakap ang mga nagpuputukan na mga braso nito, na kulay maong din ang suot suot ng mahahabang biyas nito, at puting puti rin ang Adidas na sapatos nito.

Mapanga parin siya like back in the days. Ang puti puti parin ng ngipin nito na kita ang matatalas niyang pangil. It was mostly dark but because of the light behind him, the shadows fell on his face with strays of his messy hair atop his head nakakalat against his forehead.

_He looked more handsome as the days flew by_.

Wonwoo shook his head. _Pull yourself together_ , sabi niya sa sarili niya.

Bawat tapak niya papunta sa lalaki annoyed si Wonwoo dahil sabay ang pagtaas ng kaba niya. What was he nervous for? This was another meeting with him ever since nakita niya ulit ito after years nung nakaraang taon.

“Oh pare, alam mong kasama rin si Uno, diba? I’m sure you actually _read_ the email,” tawa ni Soonyoung at agad na yinakap ang balikat ni Wonwoo to make the latter face their late incomer.

Wonwoo had no choice kung ‘di iangat ng konti ulo niya nang nagharap sila dahil sa tangkad nito. Matangkad na si Wonwoo pero iyong lalaking ‘to has always been the taller between them ever since.

“ _You_ _’_ _re late_ ,” ang unang sabi ni Wonwoo. He didn’t care if he was rude.

Six years late.

“ _I know_ ,” ulit nito, seryoso ang mga matang nakatitig pababa sa kanya pabalik as if he responded to what Wonwoo wanted to truly say.

Malat parin ang boses niya at malalim and there was still the lisp whenever he talked that Wonwoo found endearing during their twenties.

Wonwoo released a light scoff that came out as a chuckle. He was not a sight for sore eyes. Wonwoo’s eyes stung kaya kumurap siya at ibinaling ang tingin sa likod ng lalaki.

“Okay, mga _ka-late_ , can we sit down now? Naghihintay ho si Justice.”

“Right,” sabi ni Wonwoo at tunog na parang may nastuck sa kanyang lalamunan. He was too old for this. Siya ang unang tumalikod at bumalik sa kanyang upuan.

“Well, I’m so glad that the three of you accepted my offer,” Justice started nang nakaupo na silang tatlo. Katabi ni Wonwoo si Soonyoung sa kabila habang iyong isa ay nasa kabila ni Soonyoung. It was the human rights lawyer na pumapagitna sa kanila.

“And if you were curious, it was Attorney Choi, Attorney Hong and Attorney Yoon that couldn’t make it. They are too busy. It’s tax season, people are rampant.” _Alam mo naman Pilipinas_ , mukhang gusto pa nito idagdag.

Wonwoo’s lips pursed at the mention of his brods. Nagkatugma pa mga mata nila ni Justice. Even Soonyoung tiningnan nito at his mention of their old seniors.

“Anyways,” sabi ni Justice Choi ulit habang nakasandal forward sa table kung nasaan ang laptop niya at pinindot ang key to fix his powerpoint presentation.

“Justice, hightech na tayo ah,” biro ni Soonyoung.

“Hahahaha!” tawa ng Justice. “Ewan ko ba bakit ko rin nahiligan gumamit nito. The Supreme Court is into technology now.” Wonwoo can vouch on that because he uses the Supreme Court’s E-Library at times.

“Time is changing,” tango ni Soonyoung.

“Indeed.”

[3RD YEAR, 2013]

Inabot siya ng gabi.

Wala namang bago.

It was already alas nwebe ng gabi nang matapos ang last class nila sa Oblicon. Drained na naman si Wonwoo sa klaseng iyon but he’s glad it’s over as of the moment bago na naman siya mag aral mamaya to understand his codals better. Tapos may Civpro quiz pa siya bukas.

Walang pinadala na driver ang kanyang tatay kaya mukhang magcocommute siya ngayon. Madali naman makakuha ng jeep dito sa Manila. Walang problema kung hindi mag ingat nalang. Sanay din naman siya.

“Sabay na tayo?”

Kita ni Wonwoo ang malaking anino nito sa harap niya dahil nakatayo ito sa likod of him and way too close for his liking. Wonwoo stepped forward a little bit and tumawa lang ang lalaki.

“Nope,” agad sinagot ni Wonwoo ito dahil ayaw niya ito makasabay. Masyado niya nang nakaharap ito sa klase today. “Go away, hindi ako sasabay sayo.”

“Why not?”

“Why should I?” balik agad ni Wonwoo.

“You’re still standing here.”

“Your point?”

“You’re waiting for me.”

“No I’m not.”

He was.

“You are.”

“Nakaalis na lahat.”

“And?”

“You’re just commuting tonight, diba? You could’ve left already the moment you left the classroom. Why haven’t you?”

Namula si Wonwoo. Sasagot na sana siya ng remark niya nang sa likod niya ay may mainit na palad na humawak sa kanyang pulsuhan na dumulas pababa sa kanyang palad at mga daliri to intertwine their fingers together.

Sabay na umihip ang malamig na hangin ng gabi sa Manila at dahil lamigin si Wonwoo, the hairs of his skin rose. He shivered at napahigpit ang kapit niya sa malaking palad na nagpainit sa kanyang kamay.

_A warm hand for a cold evening._

“Let’s go. Kain tayo.”

Wonwoo scoffed, “Alas nwebe na, saan ka pa makakakita na bukas na karinderya?” Hindi palabas si Wonwoo so he doesn’t really know anywhere to eat besides the open twenty-four seven, seven eleven sa baba ng condo niya. “Mag aaral pa ako.”

Hahatakin na sana ni Wonwoo ulit ang kamay niya para alisin sa malalapad na palad nito pero hindi niya pinakawalan ang kamay niya. “Konti lang bago ka mag-aral.”

Napabuntong hininga si Wonwoo at kinagat ang labi niya. Naglalakad na sila papuntang daan outside of their campus at konti lang din ang mga sasakyan sa labas pero mas mausok parin dito kesa sa loob.

“Have you eaten _lomi_?” tanong nito habang inaalalay siya sa harap, shielding Wonwoo away from the road. Tiningnan lang ni Wonwoo ang malawak na likod nito.

Nainis si Wonwoo kaya napairap siya. “Of course, I have. May seven eleven sa baba ng condo ko. Iyong ba kakainin natin? It’s nothing special,” daldal ni Wonwoo nang naglalakad sila sa gilid ng daan.

His wide back shook as he laughed sa harap ni Wonwoo. Ano naman nakakatawa sa sinabi niya?

“It isn’t,” he agreed and Wonwoo smirked.

“But it’s eating with you that would make it special,” sabi niya nang sabay niyang liningon si Wonwoo with a smile on his face.

Halos lahat ng sasakyan na dumaan blurred out and ang tanging gwapong mukha nito ang ngumiti sa dilim. Dahan dahang nawala ang ngisi ni Wonwoo sa kanyang sariling labi at imbis na salita, ang kanyang mga binti ang nautal sa paglalakad.

“Oh!” Halos matapilok si Wonwoo dahil hindi niya nakita iyong bato na natapilukan niya but good thing he was already caught by the shoulders nung hinila siya with their hands held. “Easy, love,” tawa nito.

Napakapit talaga si Wonwoo sa balikat din nito with his free hand and his heart beated fast. Akala niya mahuhulog siya!

“S-Sorry,” nautal na rin siya dahil napahiya siya. Mabuti nalang at madilim dahil mahahalata sa kanyang mukha ang pagkapula at init ng mga pisngi niya dahil maputla siya.

Tumayo nang maayos si Wonwoo at tiningnan lang siya ng seryoso to make sure he was okay. Wonwoo waved him off at ngumiti, uncomfortable. Nagbuntong hininga ang lalaki sa harap niya.

“Magkaliwang paa parin ang paglalakad mo?”

“Stop that! I’ve changed,” inis na pagdabog ni Wonwoo at namula na siya sa inis. Dati kasi palaging natatapilok si Wonwoo nung first year palang siya and he was always there to witness that.

“Mukhang hindi,” pagbibiro nito at nang tumingala si Wonwoo, lumiko sila sa isang daanan at nakarating sa maliit na karinderya na bukas pa. Maliit lang ito at tinayo sa gilid ng kalsada na may maliwanag na puting ilaw.

Malawak ang daan sa gilid at wala namang mga sasakyan dahil papasok na rin ito sa isang village. Dahan dahan nilang dalawa pinuntahan ang karinderya.

May matandang lalaki na nag aayos ng mga plato at baso. Nung tumingala siya from wiping them clean, nakita ni Wonwoo kung paano lumiwanag ang mukha nito at napangiti.

It’s the same smile that Wonwoo sees in the man he came with.

“ _Mingyu, anak_!”

[END OF FLASHBACK, PRESENT TIME]

“Gyu, it’s so nice to see you again after so long, brother,” huling sinabi ni Soonyoung bago sila magyakapan ulit in a bro-hug and clasped each other’s shoulders. Pinanood lang ni Wonwoo silang dalawa sa gilid habang nakahalukipkip.

“Me too, Attorney Kwon or should I say Senator?” magalang na bati nito kay Soonyoung at may ngisi na naman.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes subtly, irritated already from waiting. They’ve already been standing outside in the parking lot dahil nag uusap pa itong dalawa about Soonyoung’s plan to run for the incoming senatorial election.

Kanina pa sila tapos at dinismiss ni Justice Choi from the orientation para sa gagawin nilang tatlo na alumni talk. The three of them agreed at babalik sila next week with their own prepared commencement speech para sa graduating batches na magbaBAR.

Soonyoung laughed, his laugh booming sa parking lot as he bounced on his feet subtly. “Ikaw naman, as usual, nakakapangikot na naman ang mga salita mo! Let’s not jinx it, Prosecutor. Alam mo naman ang mga nakaupo ngayon.”

The prosecutor hummed, his face going serious too. “I know. I wish you all the best.”

“Thank you!” chirped Soonyoung at sinide eye glanced na si Wonwoo na nag hihintay at nakasandal sa kanyang sasakyan. Akala ni Soonyoung na hindi siya nakikita ni Wonwoo kahit patago pa itong nagsenyas with a jab of his thumb.

Wonwoo rolled his eyes again habang napataas ang kilay ng matangkad kay Soonyoung.

Siguradong may sinabi na naman itong si Soonyoung bago ito humarap kay Wonwoo na may ngiti. Soonyoung holds Wonwoo’s shoulders before hugging him, “It’s so nice to see you again.”

Nawala na ang iritasyon ni Wonwoo and melts into Soonyoung’s embrace. Pinat niya ito sa likod. “You too. Message me anytime if you want to eat outside or drink.”

“Sige! Message din kita sa facebook kasi may mga gusto akong memes na i-share sayo,” sabi ni Soonyoung. “Maiwan ko na kayo, ah!”

“Bye Attorney Kwon,” bati ng prosecutor in amusement for one last time nang kinuha ni Soonyoung ang casefile niya na nakapatong on top of Wonwoo’s hood ng BMW niya.

Unlike back before, hindi na masyadong maganda ilanghap ang hangin ng Manila sa gabi. Siguro malamig pa ng onti dahil sa hamog pero hindi na rin maganda sa ilong and it was humid.

Wonwoo shook his head nang wala na si Soonyoung sa kanyang paningin before he turns around para buksan ang pintuan ng kotse niya.

“ _Wonwoo_.”

“ _No_ ,” agad na sinabi ni Wonwoo at pamadaling bubuksan ang pintuan niya. Wala siyang oras para dito. Ayaw niya nang kahit anong explanation. It was long overdue.

“Goodnight _Mingyu_.”

Hihilain na sana ni Wonwoo ang handle ng pintuan niya at nabuksan na, nang may naglapat nito pasara ng isang malaking kamay ng malakas sa harap niya.

He put his hand on Jane! Wonwoo scowls and immediately turns around to give him a piece of his mind at _maling ginawa niya_ yon.

The lawyer glares up at the prosecutor who was too close for his liking at nakalapat ang katawan nito sa kanya against his car. Napahawak si Wonwoo sa pintuan sa likod niya while breathing heavily.

Wonwoo could smell his dark cologne. Its scent never changed.

Tangina, anong teleserye ‘to! Wonwoo takes his hands off sa likod niya at planong tulakin ang mabigat na katawan ni Mingyu but he couldn’t when naunahan siya nito. Ang kamay nito na nasa sasakyan niya ay nakahawak na magkabilang kamay ni Wonwoo.

“ _Don_ _’_ _t_ ,” sabi ni Wonwoo ng madiin at dapat puno ito ng konbiksyon but his voice failed him. It fucking _cracked_ on him. “Let go. You’re violating my rights according to Act 7877!” madaling lumabas sa bibig ni Wonwoo.

Mingyu chuckled. “Under what provisions of the CSC resolution?” Humigpit ang kapit niya kay Wonwoo so the latter struggled more. It was obvious nag gygym ang neanderthal na ‘to but si Wonwoo _medyo lang_ kaya mas _mahina_ parin siya.

“ _Ano ako rinereview mo katulad ng dati?_ ” Wonwoo spat, trying to pull his hand para makawala sa kanya. He couldn’t believe him!

Nahuhulog na ang kanyang salamin sa kanyang ilong and Mingyu noticed it with the way his eyes behind his own glasses stared down at him.

“Just talk to me, Wonwoo and stop giving me the stink eye. Kanina pa sa harap ni Justice Choi,” sabi niya softly at mas sinamaan ni Wonwoo ang tingin niya kay Mingyu. He won’t fall for that tone.

“Well, I don’t want to _so let go_ ,” Wowoo gritted and for one last time, he pulled his hands hard at successfully siyang napabitaw. Mingyu stumbled back a little as his hair blew against the sudden gust of wind at maingay ang pagkiskis ng sapatos niya sa semento.

Inayos ni Mingyu ang sarili niyang salamin habang si Wonwoo din. “Galit ka.”

Naramdaman na naman ni Wonwoo ang pag ihip ng hangin that gave him goosebumps again of shivers. Itinaas niya ang sarili niyang salamin at hindi sumagot kung hindi tumalikod nalang para buksan na ang kanyang pintuan.

Inabot na naman siya ni Mingyu sa likod sa kanyang kamay.

Wonwoo felt his nose hurt at tuluyang nang kumirot ang puso niya kasabay na pagkirot ng mga mata niyang nagluluha as he whipped his face back to face the taller. Ramdam na ramdam niya ang pagkagalit niya at gusto niya umiyak.

God, gusto ni Wonwoo, gustong gusto niya _pero mag tretrenta na siya_ , anong mapapala niya sa pagiiyak niya? Kaya, oo, _galit na galit_ siya. Lahat pag dating kay Mingyu all these years dinaan niya sa inis at galit.

Sinuntok ni Wonwoo papalayo ang bicep ni Mingyu ng malakas but it didn’t even faze the prosecutor. Tumigas ang mukha nito at seryosong tiningnan ang nagagalit na mukha ni Wonwoo.

“Ang _daya_ mo,” mahirap na inilabas ni Wonwoo ang tahimik na hikbi. His voice was low and raspy. Masakit magsalita dahil pinipigilan niya ang luha niya sa likod ng mga mata niya. “Ang daya—” _suntok_ “—daya _, daya mo_.”

“Ang daya mo, _putangina_!” Hindi naman sumigaw si Wonwoo pero madiin ang pagkamura niya. “You promised me we’ll be together after the BAR,” he sobbed with no tears but in a breathless choke.

Mingyu welcomed everything Wonwoo threw at him like he understood that he deserved it. Nang may mga namumuong luha sa kanyang mga mata na ayaw niya ilabas, kita ni Wonwoo sa madilim na parking lot si Mingyu who stared down at him with void of emotions.

Wonwoo breathed hard, holding in to his knees kasi tangina, mag thi-thirty na siya, ang hirap na umiyak ng ganito sa edad na ‘to.

“You—” hingal at pagod na sinabi ni Wonwoo “—are unfair.”

Nahulog ang salamin ni Wonwoo sa aspalto and its metal frames clinked against it followed by the splat of his tears he tried to stop. Mainit na ang mukha ni Wonwoo at masakit na ang leeg niya from his choked sobs.

Wonwoo stared down at the wet droplets that colored the asphalt darker. He tried to stop it, he tried to pent up everything into anger because it’s what helped him all these years but…

“I held my end of the bargain that I won’t leave,” Wonwoo reminisced everything and swallowed hard. Inangat niya ang ulo niya to properly look at Mingyu who stared back with still nothing.

“You said it’s just fair—as long as you’ll not drop out too and reach your dream of being a lawyer.” Wonwoo squints, scrunching his nose in pain. Mugto na siguro mga mata niya. Ang labo labo na ng paningin niya.

Tumayo na si Wonwoo ng maayos at huminga ng malalim shortly. He crouched para kunin ang nahulog niyang salamin but didn’t wear it. Pinunasan niya rin ang kanyang pisngi at ginulo ang buhok just to grasp on to something.

“I read your name in the list of those who passed, _you were at the very top_ but—” Wonwoo laughs, “but I never saw _you_ again.”

[3RD YEAR, 2013]

Tahimik silang dalawa kumakain ng lomi na hinanda ng tatay ni Mingyu. It felt weird for Wonwoo, not because he wasn’t comfortable in the premise of the small humble karinderya on the side of the road, pero dahil nasa presensya siya ng _tatay_ ni Mingyu.

“Masarap?” tanong ni— _actual_ —Mr. Kim and Wonwoo smiled.

“Opo. Tamang tama lang yung softness ng noodles.”

“That’s good.” Bumalik ito sa pagpupunas ng mga kutsara at tinidor. There’s something myserious about sa tatay ni Mingyu. This is his first time meeting him at parang iba siya sa ekspektasyon niya. Hindi niya mapinpoint ano.

Wonwoo glances at Mingyu in his peripheral at kita niya itong kumakain, humihigop ng soup. He unconsciously smiled but nawala din iyon nung he realized. Bumalik siya sa pag kain ng sarili niyang lomi.

Tanging pagbuzz lang ng light at ang pumapasadang mga jeepney na dumadaan at ingay and Wonwoo felt contented with that. Masarap iyong lomi.

“Law student ka rin ba?” tanong ulit ni Mr. Kim.

Napapunas ng tissue si Wonwoo sa bibig at tumango. “I’m actually classmates with your son.” Ramdam niyang tumingin si Mingyu sa kanya.

“Oh,” gulat na sabi lamang ng tatay ni Mingyu, like he wasn’t expecting Mingyu to bring a friend from law school. “Hindi naman masyadong palaaway ang anak ko, ano?” he proceeds to ask.

Wonwoo pursed his lips, hindi alam ang sasabihin. It wasn’t his son. It was him to his son. Nakakahiya. Mingyu laughed beside him as if he knew what Wonwoo was thinking.

“Hindi po, ‘tay.”

“Actually ako po yung palagi nangaaway sa anak niyo.” Tiningnan ni Wonwoo si Mingyu na nakangiti sa kanya. _Bakit?_ Wonwoo raised a brow. Palihim na umiling ito na sinasabing wala.

“Buti naman. Kailangan niya ng katapat.”

Gustong sabihin ni Wonwoo na _you and me both, sir_. Instead, “Kayang kaya ko po anak niyo.” It was his pride that talked, to be honest, kahit alam nilang dalawa na palaging talo si Wonwoo kay Mingyu.

But he always tried.

“Ayan ang gusto ko!” Tatay Kim laughed at hindi talaga maiwasan ni Wonwoo hindi sila ikumpara ni Mingyu. They were, in every physical aspect, a carbon copy. From the smile, to the teeth, to the eyes.

Mingyu clasps Wonwoo’s knees subtly. Nagkatugma ang kanilang mga mata. “Here’s to more debates with you, Mr. Jeon.” In that moment, hindi pinigilan ni Wonwoo ang ngiti.

Tatay Kim excused himself at pumunta sa likod na inexplain ni Mingyu kung saan siguro magyoyosi break ang tatay niya dahil ito ang routine niya pagkatapos magpunas ng mga gamit. They continued to eat their lomi at hindi na nakapagpigil si Wonwoo.

“Can I ask where’s your mom…?” dahan dahan niyang tinanong. Naalala niya kaagad ang nangyare noong first year sila. When Mingyu was asked what position in the justice court he wanted to be. Sa likuran ng isip ni Wonwoo, he might’ve connected the dots.

Napahinto na ng tuluyan si Mingyu sa dapat na pagsubo niya at naramdaman din ni Wonwoo ang pagpisil na naman sa tuhod niya ng madiin. It didn’t hurt but it was firm. Iyong kaninang kumukuyakoy pa na tuhod ni Mingyu tumigil din.

Under the white light, Mingyu’s tan skin glistened at kita ni Wonwoo ang pawis sa sentido nito. _Gwapo_. Napangiti na naman si Mingyu but this time, walang aliw.

A pained smile.

“Wonwoo.”

“Yeah?” he asked.

“I… plano ko magdrop,” Mingyu whispers. “Ang hirap na Wonwoo. Ayaw ko na rin pahirapan sarili ko.”

Pati si Wonwoo napangiti sa sakit. _Oh my hardworking Mingyu who I thought was stronger than me all this time_. Wonwoo lifts his hand to wipe the sweat that dropped sa sentido ni Mingyu. All this time, si Mingyu palagi nag aalaga sa kanya. Now it’s time he does the same.

“Pagod na ako, Wonwoo. Kung hindi ko na kaya rito, paano pa kaya pag naging abogado ako?” Hindi umimik si Wonwoo at pinabayaan ito magsalita. Patuloy niya lang na hinaplos ang gilid ng mukha ni Mingyu with a gentle touch.

“Can I make a confession too?” tanong ni Wonwoo at ang ngiti niya ay naging mahinhin. “I’m leaving the Philippines after I take the BAR. I want to study for the California board exam and practice there for good.”

Hinawakan ni Mingyu ang kamay niyang nasa sentido nito. “What?” gulat na tanong niya.

Wonwoo hums para hindi maiyak, “Yes but I’m having second thoughts. I don’t want to leave.”

“Why?” Mingyu breathed out. His eyes were expressive like they usually were sa mata ni Wonwoo. Hindi alam ni Wonwoo kung ano ang nasa isip niya nun but in that moment, he never wanted the moment to end.

“I want to face you on court someday, Mingyu.” But Wonwoo teared up, anyways. “I can’t do that if I leave, no?” Habang nanginginig ang ngiti niya sa kanyang labi, may mga luha nang namumuo.

“Why do you think I always challenge you? Why do I keep on pushing you even if I know I will lose to you? _Because I believe in you so much_. I just want to be like you.”

Lumapat ang kamay ni Mingyu sa pisngi ni Wonwoo at dahan dahang pinunas ang luhang tumulo. “Bakit ka umiiyak? Namatayan ka ba?” Mingyu laughs.

_Tarantado_! Gustong kagatin ni Wonwoo ang kamay ni Mingyu, like a rabid dog, na nasa mukha niya at kita ni Mingyu iyon kaya tumawa na naman siya. Ang galing galing nito tumakas sa mga sitwasyong emotional. It was what kept Wonwoo sane all these years.

“Okay,” sabi niya. May bagong kinang sa mga mata niya at hindi alam ni Wonwoo ano iniisip na naman nito. “I’ll stay pero may kapalit.”

Wonwoo sniffs, “Of course meron sayong tangina ka.” This is why he hated him so much!

Mingyu guffawed but kinimkim niya kaagad kasi gabi na. “Patas lang I’m not leaving habang _ikaw_ hindi ka rin aalis. Dito ka lang. _Sakin_. Pagbubutihan ko pa para makalaban mo ako sa korte, okay?” He grinned with his canines out.

“B-But… gusto mo maging abogado because of some other reason, right? Bakit ka pa lalaban kung hindi naman na para sa rason mo?” singhot ni Wonwoo.

“Thank you for being another reason, Uno,” Mingyu smiles. “Let’s see each other in court someday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jargons to take note of as you read!
> 
> SC - Supreme Court  
> PAO - Public Attorney's Office  
> BAR - Philippine Bar Examinations  
> IBP - Integrated Bar of the Philippines  
> Voir Doire - in Wonwoo's context, telling the truth. In legal context, it originally referred to an oath taken by jurors to tell the truth.


	2. ngayon ang puso ko ay sawi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> may nagbalik pero hindi na pala pwedeng balikan. soonyoung, ano ba talaga kayo ni doc?

At least natupad naman yung pagkikita nila. In the most fucked up possible way.

Kakagising niya lang kanina and Wonwoo felt like shit. Crying last night out of anger and spite for the man took a toll. Inabot niya cellphone niya on his nightstand and he was spammed with none other than Soonyoung in messenger.

**Youngsoon sent a photo.**

Apparently may personal facebook pala si Soonyoung at binaliktad niya pangalan niya for safety purposes at lahat lahat para hindi siya mahanap as a public figure. Binuksan niya phone niya at unang bungad ay screenshot ng meme na sinend ni Soonyoung from a facebook page.

_Promise nang promise. Hindi naman natutupad. Senador ka?_

Naikwento ni Wonwoo ang nangyari kagabi so Soonyoung was sending timely memes parang gago.

**Youngsoon: hindi.**

**Youngsoon: prosecutor! ahahahahaha [tiger emoji] rawr**

**Uno: Kabataan, ito talaga gusto niyong senador? Furry?**

**Youngsoon: gago! hahaha oy**

**Youngsoon: alam nila tiger agenda ko.**

**Youngsoon: kung si rudy butete may fist bump, ako may tiger claw**

**Uno: Idadamay mo pa presidente. It’s too early for this.**

**Youngsoon: tara, brunch? UCC? may pakilala ako sayo**

**Uno: Yan ba yung nakita kong kachat mo kahapon?**

**Youngsoon: huli**

**Youngsoon: pero hinde kulong**

**Uno: Wat time [rolling eyes emoji]**

**Youngsoon: 12**

Wonwoo took a bath dahil eleven thirty na at ang UCC na sinasabi ni Soonyoung ay sa Burgos Circle na fifteen minutes away from his condo rito sa Taguig. It only took him fifteen din at nagbihis siya casually to a black nike dry fit sando at dry fit shorts.

Today was a Sunday so he didn’t wear work clothes. Lumabas siya sa kwarto niya as he took his wallet at keys na nasa bowl pagkalabas niya sa tabi ng pintuan. He assessed the living room of his penthouse at napangiwi.

Case papers everywhere. Books everywhere. File boxes everywhere. Bottled waters and Shin Ramyun cups everywhere.

Naiimagine niya na ang kapatid niya na mangsasaway kahit mas matanda siya. _Ano ba_ _‘_ _yan, Kuya! Ang mahal mahal ng tinitirahan mo worth three million tapos dudungisan mo lang ng ganito!_ Thank God she stayed in the States and rarely went home.

He opened his contact at nagscroll hanggang makita niya ang pangalan ng tagalinis niya ng apartment niya for three years now. Matagal niya nang pinagkakatiwalaan ang manang na ito ever since his condo nung law school kaya kahit lumabas siya, he didn’t mind her cleaning.

To say, she has seen it all, witnessed it all. Alam niya lahat. What happened back in Manila years ago, stayed in Manila lang din.

Plus, pagkauwi niya palagi parang walang nakatira sa sobrang linis. He wouldn’t know what to do without her. Baka nabulok na siya.

Umalis na siya ng kwarto after his call at bumaba sa B1 parking where Jane stayed. He greeted his car a good morning and went inside. Huminga siya ng malalim when he sunk into his leather seats at tumingala.

Last night was fucking painful and he doesn’t want that to happen again kaya as much as possible, he doesn’t want to bump into him now that he’s in Manila at kung saan man siya nagtago ng ilang taon. Hindi kumibo si Mingyu when he let all his anger out kaya tinakbo niya na bago pa siya mapigilan.

_Okay, enough,_ pinindot ni Wonwoo ang engine start at binaba ang kambyo as he gets out of his parking to leave for the breakfast cafe. _Move on_.

Nagring ang chimes welcoming him inside the cold room ng breakfast cafe. Kita ni Wonwoo kaagad si Soonyoung with his dark hair na may kausap na lalaki who looked _way younger_ than the human rights lawyer.

Nakaupo sila sa labas so Wonwoo went out again to the other glass door entrance and nung nakita siya ni Soonyoung habang umiinom ng kape, tumayo siya at pinunas ang pantalon.

“Brother!” Soonyoung greets. “Meet Seokmin Lee. He’s from PAWS.” What was Soonyoung doing with a member of the animal welfare NGO? Nawala na ba ‘to ng bait at mag aadopt ng tiger?

“Attorney Wonwoo Jeon,” pakilala ni Wonwoo sa sarili niya seriously with an authoritative air to him as he shook his hands with the boy who looked like he was inlike in his early twenties.

Tapos he eased up. No need to be uptight with Soonyoung’s… friend.

“May I call you Seokmin din o…?” tiningnan niya ang lalaki with hesitation kasi ayaw niya makaoffend. Mukhang mabait pa naman ‘to.

The guy laughs, his eyes getting lost sa sobrang chinito nito. “C’mon, masyado kang humble, I know who you are. Yup!” he waved his hand. “Order ka na. My treat sainyo ni Nyong.”

Wonwoo, with a very _suspicious_ raise of brow, looked at _Nyong_ na nakaupo na at umiinom ng kape para itago sarili niya. Soonyoung better be ready for interrogation. Tatalunin ni Wonwoo ang NBI.

Umupo si Wonwoo sa tabi ni Soonyoung facing the restaurant at nagtaas ng isang kamay to call the waitress. “Your eyes are very puffy. Gusto mo ng eye drops? I have in my bag?”

Nagbabasa si Wonwoo ng menu pagkaupo niya nang tinanong sa kanya ni Seokmin at nagulat siya. “Oh, salamat. No, thank you. Okay lang ako.” He even used his hands to say no.

“Okay pero just tell me ha if need mo.”

“Thanks,” Wonwoo says, smiling at ease.

He’s assuming this guy from PAWS is a genuine animal lover because based on his own stereotype, animal lovers were kind and easy going people in nature. “Can I ask paano kayo nagkakilala?”

Wonwoo glanced at Soonyoung na halos maibuga ang iniinom na kape because he, Attorney Jeon was ruthless. He was asking questions na kaagad. Wonwoo smirked sneakily as he looks at his longtime bestfriend.

“Oh… well!” Seokmin chirped, crossing his legs at naghihiwa ng tocino niya. Mukha naman he did not mind. “He visited our office. He was asking if it was possible to adopt a tiger.”

Mukhang seryoso pa ito nung sinagot niya si Wonwoo so the criminal defense lawyer looked at Soonyoung appalled.

Pati si Soonyoung nabilaukan sa iniinom na naman at nagpunas ng tissue, waving his hand off. Both of the lawyers were bewildered for different reasons.

Seokmin laughed, “Oh I am kidding! We met at our shelter. Attorney Kwon does volunteer a lot for us ever since his firm visited for the first time. I told him to adopt a cat na lang nga para hindi siya balik ng balik saamin pero he insists palagi at balik ng balik!”

“I am one with my animals, after all,” Soonyoung hums and takes a bite of his own club sandwich.

“Wow, that’s nice,” Wonwoo says, genuinely liking the idea, albeit, his eyes narrow still at Soonyoung. Mga galawan nito. Wonwoo decided he liked Seokmin already. Bata bata pa at tunog conyo. Siguro mayaman ‘to. _May nabudol na naman si Soonyoung_.

“Sir, may I take your order?” Nandun na pala ang waitress and so Wonwoo stares down at his menu then back at the woman. He was about to order when he caught a glimpse of a _familiar_ tall, tan male entering UCC with someone pero hindi niya masyado nahagilap.

Wonwoo curses loudly kasi wala talagang filter bibig niya at nacontain niya lang all these years so it shocks everyone.

He waved the waitress off, “Just get me Americano and daing na bangus, thank you.” The waitress scurried away while Soonyoung looked like he was ready to scold.

“You’re with me, umayos ka nga,” Soonyoung hissed lowly. Oo nga pala. Soonyoung was a public figure. Hinilot niya ang magkabilang sentido niya sa stress.

“He’s here,” Wonwoo grunted. Wala pang isang araw. Ginagago na ata talaga siya ng kung sino man ang nasa itaas.

“Who’s here?” Seokmin asked curiously.

Nakapikit na si Wonwoo dahil kumirot mata niya nang tanggalin niya ang salamin niya. _Puta naman_! Hindi pa ba sapat yung kahapon at makikita niya na naman ngayon? _Diyos ko naman_.

“Prosecutor Kim,” he laughs parang baliw. Sinuot niya ulit salamin niya at luminaw ang lahat with Soonyoung turning around so fast nung sinabi niya pangalan nito.

“Legit?” Soonyoung bounces on his seat. “Kung hindi nga naman the _world works in mysterious ways_!” Matabil dila ni Wonwoo and his words could hurt so it was enough but at this moment, gusto niyang _manakit_ ng isang human rights lawyer.

_We aren_ _’_ _t a part of the frat for nothing_. Excuse his dark humor at times like this.

“Soonyoung,” Seokmin scolded. “Mukhang uncomfortable si Attorney Jeon nung nakita yung prosecutor. Diba kalaban niya yung mga yun in trials? Bakit ang saya saya mo?”

Kung hindi lang naiistress si Wonwoo sa taong nakita niya, he would’ve teased his friend already and thanked Seokmin pero walang ibang tumatakbo sa isip niya kung hindi, _andito siya_. What game was fate playing on him?

“Sorry,” Soonyoung sheepishly apologized. Seokmin made a hum of approval. _Whipped_. “Kaibigan namin—” he clears his throat “—ko yung prosecutor. Should I say hi?”

Hindi pa nagsasalita si Seokmin kasi mukhang magsasalita ito but Wonwoo reacted quickly. “No! Hindi ka magpapakita, sinasabi ko sayo.” Minasamaan ni Wonwoo si Soonyoung ng tingin but he got a smirk in return.

“Bakit ako matatakot?” Matigas parin mukha nito all these years. That’s good to know, Wonwoo sighs.

Ginulo ni Wonwoo ang buhok niya sa inis. “Bahala ka.” You know what? Soonyoung could approach him for all he cares, kaibigan naman niya yan. Sino ba siya? _Ang iniwan niya lang naman_.

_Awat na_ , sabi niya sa sarili niya at ikinulong ang ulo niya in between his arms while he folded them in the table and caged his head. Wonwoo groaned. Mingyu Kim was making him a mess after he tried to forget him all these years!

“Joke lang,” tawa ni Soonyoung, “Ito naman.” Sabay na may kinuha siya sa gilid ng upuan niya and Wonwoo squints nang makita niya brief case ito. Were they going to talk about work today?

Wonwoo rather not.

“It’s not work,” sabi ni Soonyoung dahil nahalata niya ang pagkatingin ni Wonwoo sa kanya ng dismaya na ayaw pag usapan muna ang trabaho. “At least, it _isn_ _’_ _t_ a case. It’s Prosecutor Kim’s _information_.”

_Oh puta naman oh_! Nalito si Seokmin while Wonwoo makes a disgruntled noise at the back of his throat.

“ _Pina PI mo siya_?” Wonwoo hissed. Private Investigators were exempted in the law and to do whatever the hell they want according to their employer as long as they followed the local and federal laws but—

_Oh god damn it, si Soonyoung Kwon_ _‘_ _to_. Siya ang pinakapowerful and influential sa kanilang tatlo na nakaupo sa table ngayon.

Soonyoung Kwon was pro-people but he saw the government officials and other lawyers as _anything but_ so he didn’t care na ipaprivate investigator si Mingyu. It's also the frat's help, probably.

“ _Hell yeah_ ,” sabi ni Soonyoung at mukhang proud na proud pa sa ginawa. “Nawala yung tao ng anim na taon pagkatapos ng BAR. I’m curious where he’s been all these years.”

“You’re crazy,” ani Seokmin at uminom ng tubig. Tiningnan siya ni Wonwoo. “You’re okay with this?” Galit siya, oo, pero labas na siguro sa kanya kung ano ang mga factors kung bakit siya iniwan. Fucking hell.

“I’ve accepted Soonyoung’s paranoid tendencies a long time ago,” yun lang sabi niya at tumango kay Soonyoung who was basically shooting out heart eyes. Mas sumakit lang sentido ni Wonwoo. Naging third wheel pa siya.

Sinimulan na ni Soonyoung ibuklat yung files at uminom ng tubig si Wonwoo. As much as possible, hindi niya tinitingnan ang mga papeles dahil kung ano lang mabasa niya. Hindi pa siya handa. He hurted too much already for this week.

“Will you read?” tanong sa kanya ni Soonyoung nang nagbabasa siya.

“No.”

“Suit yourself, Uno— _h shit_.”

“What?!” the criminal defense attorney snapped. Tingnan mo, kaya ayaw niya malaman, kahit an inkling. Somewhere at the back of his mind alam niyang magkakaroon siya ng simpatya but Wonwoo isn’t ready for that.

Hindi sumagot si Soonyoung kaagad at iginala pa ang mga mata ng mabilis para basahin pa ang papeles. Makapal kapal din ang mga nilabas niya galing sa brown na hard envelope. Hanga din naman si Wonwoo na sa isang gabi ganito niya kabilis nakuha ang impormasyon.

“Last 2017, Mingyu himself was the prosecutor who convicted his own father for _murder and arson_? Wow, itong batang ‘to,” mumbled Soonyoung habang nakayuko sa papeles. May isang pahina na hinangin but Seokmin got to put a hand on it before it flew.

Nanigas si Wonwoo sa kanyang kinauupuan.

“Woah,” Seokmin reacted, nilagyan nya ng malinis na kutsilyong hindi gamit sa itaas kasama ng mga ibang papeles para hindi ito lumipad. “Putting his father in trial? What was the ruling?”

“Guilty beyond reasonable doubt,” Soonyoung grimaced. “His father’s lawyer appealed for both but it was found with no merit because the evidences were strong kaya firm na ang decision ng Judge.”

[2ND YEAR, 2012]

Wonwoo willed himself to listen even if he was seconds away na makakatulog na. Buong gabi siyang nagbasa ng mga provisions na hindi niya masyadong kabisa—or he really did, he’s just paranoid na baka wala siyang maisagot for recitation.

“—Mr. Jeon, explain,” biglang tinanong siya ni Judge Choi, napatayo agad siya and blinked a lot of times para magising diwa niya.

Wonwoo licked his lips and backtracked kung ano yung pinaguusapan. “Sir, uh, appellant Robert C. Park was charged with violations—”

“Sit down. Hindi ka nakikinig, that was already given. Mr. Kim, _tayo_.”

Wonwoo blinked as he sat down, his eyes darting to Mingyu na ang sumunod na tumayo at naghalukipkip ng mga nagpuputukang braso.

This was bad. Nararamdaman niya na makakakuha siyang bad recit pero kung san san siya tumitingin. Kailangan niya lang ng tulog but as if. Wala na siyang tulog ever since law school.

“No, sir. The appellant is not entitled to bail. Bail is a matter of right, or of discretion. It is a matter of right when the offense is punishable by death, lifetime imprisonment or _reclusion perpetua_. If we apply the aforequoted rule, then the appellant is not entitled to bail since his conviction is proven with evidence that his guilt is strong—”

Hindi nakatapos si Mingyu. Nakakunot ang noo niya nang itinaas ni Judge Choi ang kamay niya, halting him to speak any more.

“Enough. Jeon…” tiningnan siya ni Judge Choi with a roll of his cheek. “ _Kwatro_. Kim, perfect recit. Jeon, makikinig ka nalang, hindi mo pa magawa.”

Wala nang sinabing iba pa si Judge Choi at nagsulat sa index cards nilang pareho.

_FUCK!_ Kahit ano pang kabisa ni Wonwoo, all his efforts go down to drain kung alam ng professor niya in class na hindi siya nakikinig. Nakakuha pa siya ng _kwatro_. _Tangina_. That was close to a singko! Agad niyang tiningnan si Mingyu who sat down, but not even sparing him a glance.

Judge Choi slams his index cards on his table sa harap at kinusot ang magkabilang sentido niya. It was eerie silence. Tiningnan lang ni Judge Choi ang mga estudyante then his eyes land on Wonwoo, all disappointed.

“I don’t care how good you are in my class. I don’t care if you can memorize the revised penal codes overnight I gave the day before…” Nagsimula nang humigpit panga ni Wonwoo.

“I do not care if you’re smart only to be reduced by being dumb enough _not to listen_ because _class_ , in court, one screw up, iba pa ang narinig mo at mali pa ang masabi mo, _it can be used against you at ang buhay ng kliente mo_ ang iaalay mo in a silver platter. Sure it’s not murder but if your client goes to jail for twenty to fourty years, it’s just as losing his whole life as well. I’m sure you all know that.”

That concluded Crim subject for the day.

Getting an earful and disappointed glance from Judge Choi. Padabog si Wonwoo na nag ayos ng kanyang mga gamit inside his bag and before he could finish putting his notebook inside his backpack, nakita niyang may tumayo sa harap ng upuan niya.

“What?” galit na diin ni Wonwoo, shoving his gamit sa bag niya. “Came to gloat?”

“ _No_ , hindi ako nandito para magyabang Jeon,” the deep familiar lisp came out. “You’re stressed. Hindi magandang stressed ka when it’s the start of our midterms tomorrow.”

“You care because?” tanong ni Wonwoo, zipping up his backpack. He doesn’t even wanna look at him dahil baka ano pa magawa niyang hindi maganda.

“I care because you won’t do good tomorrow. I really don’t want the person who can compete with me here at law school not at his best tomorrow, ‘no? Hindi naman ata makatarungan yun?” Napatigil si Wonwoo. He sighs, hinila ang bag niya pataas para isabit na sa balikat niya.

Wonwoo looks at Mingyu who was offering a nervous smile. “Truce? Libre kita? You know I’m not sorry because technically, fault mo parin kasi hindi ka nakikini—”

“Okay.” Wonwoo glares. Tinikom ni Mingyu bibig niya, zipping his lips parang may lock. _Weirdo_. Umirap si Wonwoo. “You’re annoying, you know that? I don’t know how I let you this close, let you libre me, find ways to make me feel better just so we can always be at it sa recitation, do you—”

Wonwoo stops blabbering because Mingyu invades his space and let himself be pressed in his frame, enveloping his smaller frame in a _hug_. Pinahinga ni Mingyu ulo at niya sa balikat ni Wonwoo, while crouching down dahil mas matangkad siya.

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo breathes out, humigpit ang kapit sa strap ng bag niya. “Let go.”

“Nope,” bulong ni Mingyu sa balikat niya. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa bewang ni Wonwoo. “You’re in need of a hug, love. Tingnan ka ba naman ni Judge ng ganun? Hindi ko kaya yun.”

“Now you’re just infuriating me again,” Wonwoo sighs, ipinahinga na rin ang pisngi niya sa balikat ni Mingyu. “Paano ulit tayo nagkatruce ng ganito when all first and second year we were at each other’s throats?”

“Just like a plea bargain, Attorney Jeon,” Mingyu whispers seductively and Wonwoo pushes him off agad because it gives him _shivers_. _There's no time for this, asshole_. Tumawa si Mingyu.

Wonwoo pushes Mingyu’s shoulder forcefully. “Let’s go.”

[END OF FLASHBACK, PRESENT TIME]

_He prosecuted his own father to reclusion perpetua_.

“Why?” tinanong niya as if nandun si Mingyu sa harap niya, asking why, _why_ , _why_ he would prosecute his own blood and kin, and kahit isang beses niya palang nakilala yung tao, Wonwoo doesn’t get how Mingyu’s father could be convicted for _murder_ and _arson_.

It’s prejudice, sure, he didn’t know the whole guy but he knew Mingyu—

“Hoy, Uno. _Inlababo ka parin sa kanya,_ _‘_ _no?_ ”

Wonwoo bursted out laughing dahil _tangina_ , minasamaan niya agad si Soonyoung ng tingin, tumatawa crazily because like any other person na iniwan, binigyan ng walang sagot kung bakit yung first love niya nawala in thin air, he denies.

“ _Nope_. Hindi natin pag uusapan ‘to dito,” Wonwoo ends it right there and there bago pa kung anong ibunyag sa sarili niyang _hindi niya_ _na_ babalikan. “I deny any allegations—”

“Okay, Mr. Attorney, if I may,” Seokmin interrupts after being wide eyed and looking at Soonyoung and Wonwoo back and forth, “You had a past with this guy?”

“Unang una sa lahat,” Wonwoo exhales, “walang kinalaman feelings ko for Pro—”

“So may feelings pa nga—”

“ _Shush_!” Si Seokmin ang nagpahupa sa tanong ni Soonyoung dahil sa intriga. Kinuha ni Seokmin Samsung phone niya and Wonwoo watches him hand it to Soonyoung. “Here, play candy crush or something. Hindi na bagay sayo nakikinig ng mga ganitong love problems.”

“ _Love problems_?” Gusto ni Wonwoo ibaon sarili niya sa table or anything to keep any conversation going about him and kay Mingyu anywhere there. “It’s—no, I don’t think I’m still in—”

“Ay ‘di ka sure?” asks Seokmin with taas kilay. Soonyoung purses his lip in a teasing manner at kinuha naman ang phone na ni Seokmin, opening it like he was used to it.

“See! I’m betting my whole fi—” sasabihin niya sana.

“No, Soonyoung. You’re not betting your whole firm because of your instincts.” Seokmin huffs, having enough. “I just want to ask things to help Wonwoo, okay. Kesa sa mamaya sumugod siya roon, kung ano anong itanong niya based on his face when he asked why. So may past, ganon. May alam siya. May doubts siya. We’ll talk through this in a healthy and non intrusive manner, okay?”

Maganda ang araw ngayon. They are under the sun, under a tent, nakaupo silang tatlo sa labas ng UCC cafe sa outside tables. Wonwoo thought it was going to be a peaceful and good day but of course, may kokontra.

At nasa loob siya. May kasama, hindi siya sure kung lalaki o babae. _Client? Colleague? Significant other?_ Wonwoo scoffs. “Thanks, animal lover, but wala na akong kailangan sabihin. He’s a prosecutor now, I’m a criminal defense attorney now. It’s been years, we’ve gone our separate ways.”

Wonwoo sagged his shoulders as he leaned back sa upuan niya, holding his forehead and willing himself to feel pagkatapos niya ilabas yon. _Kahit saglit_. Pagod na rin siya maging galit or kung ano man nararamdaman niya.

_A plea bargain, Mingyu? The defense counsel, no matter how good the deal the prosecution gave, still lost to them. I lost again, Mingyu._

_Not to you—but you._

_Mingyu and Wonwoo were rivals at first. Perhaps, they were really doomed not to last until the end from the start._

The lawyer barely felt the day passed after that _fiasco_ sa breakfast cafe in Burgos. Hapon na at palubog na ang araw, he’s so tired from all the legalities he could tried to conjure up with what happened with Mingyu’s father, kahit alam niya naman wala siyang maisasagot na tama if he doesn’t even have the whole facts.

Kinailangan niya lang ng distraction pero ang tanga lang din when it’s about someone he wants to get the distraction from.

Pagod na rin siya kakaisip kung bakit nandoon si Mingyu at sino kasama niya. He’s tired of Mingyu trying to get in his system again. Sayang yung mga taon na triny niyang tanggalin si Mingyu in every way from his life.

He could opt na tingnan yung mga papeles ni Mingyu na Soonyoung forced into his hands before him and Seokmin left. Wonwoo gripped the papers as it was shoved to him at alam niyang hindi naman niya pwede itapon lang lahat.

Wonwoo can’t do it. Hindi niya kayang itapon _pero_ hindi niya rin kayang buksan.

His eyebrows twitched, staring at the files na nasa kitchen island niya. Nakapatong lang doon, taunting him, telling him with might as well with a greeting card na _happy advanced birthday, Uno! Buksan mo na ang regalo mo_. Linunok niya lahat ng temptation.

Nakahalukipkip siya at nakaupo sa may likuran ng couch niya since his island was just behind the living room in an open space here in his clean apartment. Wonwoo stares at those files, not knowing an inkling what to do with them.

Before he could even think more, his phone rang from the couch sa likuran niya at kinuha niya yun to answer it. “Hello,” he greets, hindi niya na tiningnan yung caller ID.

“Is that how you greet your brod?”

Shit, napamura si Wonwoo internally at napapikit, hinigpitan ang kapit sa telepono.

“No, sir. Sorry. I was distracted. How are you?”

“Kidding, Uno. I’m fine. Balita ko nagusap ulit kayo ni Mingyu after how many years and not just passing by?” Seungcheol Choi says over the phone.

“How did you know that?” Wonwoo asks.

“I still have eyes around the school. Bakit ka pa nasopresa, brad?” the man laughs over the phone, mapagbiro at magaspang ang boses. Parang kailan lang, Wonwoo took the brunt of Seungcheol’s harsh curses in his first year dahil kupal silang lahat sa kanya noon.

Of course Wonwoo knew that. Ginusto niya lang malaman kung paano nalaman ni Seungcheol. Nakita rin ba nung kung sino nakakita kung paano niya iniyakan si Mingyu? Must’ve been embarassing.

“Anyways, I have something for you.”

“I didn’t ask for anything,” sabi niya at nagtagpo ang noo niya. Ilang buwan niya nang hindi nakakausap si Seungcheol. Hindi rin naman sila nagkikita dahil hindi naman sa criminal court si Seungcheol. Ayaw niya rin magkautang na loob sa taong kagaya ni Seungcheol.

“You’re welcome.”

Naputol na ang linya at tinanggal ni Wonwoo ang telepono niya sa tenga, staring at it because he’s not sure what was the older man talking about. Tiningnan niya ulit ang mga papeles na nasa kitchen island niya at nagbuntong hininga.

Not today. Maybe, not ever. If he wanted to move on, hindi niya na papakielaman ‘yan. But who was he kidding? Balang araw titingnan niya rin ‘yan. _Let_ _’_ _s just see how long he lasts_. Wonwoo pushes himself off the rest, turning to leave.

The papers, _out of sight and out of mind_. Nakuha lang niya rin iyong phrase na iyon sa facebook dahil kay Soonyoung.

Bago siya makapasok ng kwarto niya, his phone rang again and he answered without a second thought.

“Hello,” he sighs.

“Alam kong hindi pa oras ng trabaho pero you will hate what I am about to tell you.”

“Hello, _Jun_ ,” bati ni Wonwoo sa boss niya—ang may ari ng firm kung nasaan siya ngayon and one of his close friends from law school kasama si Soonyoung. Unlike the running Senator, si Junhui ang nakasama niya all these years. “Linggong linggo.”

The guy was old money rich kaya naging kaibigan ni Wonwoo sa law school in the first place. Stuck with him for the connections nung una but he liked the guy.

Junhui Wen was another ruthless criminal defense lawyer and he was about to get a case in SC, kung hindi lang siya muntikan na madisbarred because they found him drunk while doing trial.

_‘_ _Tong mayayaman na_ _‘_ _to_ , Wonwoo just sighs nung nalaman niyang on top of Jun paying them hefty amount of money para hindi lumabas sa iba kaso niya, napalanunan niya pa yun kaya hindi naging big deal. _Here_ _’_ _s another glimpse of how filthy rich lawyers get away_.

Junhui was an egoistic, all high and mighty son of a bitch but he was damn good at his job. Kasama na ata sa pagiging ganoon ang mga abogado. Kadalasan, dahil may titulo, but Wonwoo wouldn’t have him any other way.

“It couldn’t get any worse than what I experienced today,” sabi ni Wonwoo, inipit ang telepono sa balikat at tenga.

“Hit me.”

Binuksan niya kwarto niya at ang ilaw. His bed was all made at mga librong nakakalat kagabi, nakalagay na ulit sa mga bookshelf.

Hinawakan niya ulit telepono niya pero muntikan na mahulog.

_“_ Mingyu is the new prosecutor in our MTC. Just a head’s up.”

_Lunes bukas pero mukhang masarap uminom ngayon_. Wonwoo ends the phone call. Papagalitan siya ni Junhui bukas dahil ayaw pa naman nun binababaan but he just doesn’t care right now.

His phone pinged again but instead of a call, it’s a text message and it was from his frat president. Seungcheol, 6:21PM.

_Consider this an advanced happy birthday gift from me._

[MONDAY, 2020]

“Uh, good afternoon, Attorney Jeon,” Junhui gritted nang pumasok si Wonwoo sa opisina niya, kakatapak palang, at kakasarado ng mamahalin niyang pintuang babasagin. “Binabaan mo na nga ako kagabi ng telepono, late ka pa. Anong oras na!”

Hindi mahilig si Junhui magtaas ng boses and he didn’t, he looked pissed though. Wonwoo chuckles sa nakikita niyang mga ugat ni Junhui sa noo na mukhang puputok na.

“Uminom ka na naman ba?” Nilapag niya brief case niya sa coffee table sa harap ng table ni Jun at umupo sa sobrang linis na puting couch ng boss niya.

“So now I can’t get angry at my late employee?” irap ni Jun nang umikot ikot siya sa swivel chair niya. Pagkaikot niya ulit sa direksyon ni Wonwoo, tinapon niya ballpen niya pero agad na umilag si Wonwoo. Childish din ‘tong si Jun pag gusto niya.

“Woah, okay, sorry na,” tawa ni Wonwoo at kinuha ang ballpen na lumipad sa kanya. Hinawakan niya agad ito with a hard grip at bumuntong hininga. He roams his eyes around sa maliwanag na opisina ni Jun, thinking, admiring the decors and intricate patterns that followed Jun’s liking of oriental Chinese minimalism.

“Mingyu?” Jun brings it up bago pa siya makasalita. He rests his back, sinking on Jun’s couch. Alam din ni Junhui lahat. Sino bang hindi sa batch nila? Him and Mingyu were either two peas in a pod na nagbabayangan for grades or… you get it.

“Tangina. Am I ready?” Out of all the people na hihingan niya ng advice, Junhui should be the last person kasi all Wonwoo’s life na kilala niya ito, naging tarantado lang naman ‘to sa mga naging kasyota niya, alas, Jun knows what to say when it comes kapag tungkol na sa paghaharap ng mga pagsubok.

Eh, itong tao lang naman na makapal talaga mukha na kilala ni Wonwoo kaya he can take what he can get na makakuha sa mga makakapal na mukha to face someone from his past.

“Uno,” Jun says, sounding like the friend he is more like a boss, “Are you ready for what? Are you ready to accept him again into your life?”

“Hindi ako ganoon karupok,” Wonwoo sighs. Tinapik tapik niya hita niya. “I cried in front of him back in Baste, _gago_. What makes you say I won’t again pag napikon ako in trial?” It’s why he was late. Ito inisip niya buong gabi at buong umaga in front of his pile of papers for his next trial. Nakakatrigger, eh.

“Since when are you unprofessional?” Jun asks, irritated. “Why would you mix your ex problems in court when you’re working?”

“Parang naman papayagan mo ako gawin yun.”

“Exactly.” May bago na namang ballpen si Junhui at tinapik tapik niya ito sa sentido niya while resting his elbow sa rest. Medyo lukot six digit pesos suit niya. “I’m not gonna make my best partner in this firm and lawyer lose it _just because_ of a prosecutor he’s still in love with.”

Pinagsama ni Wonwoo kamay niya sa harapan niya and folded his elbows to rest on his thighs. “I’m not.”

He’s not. Kapal talaga ng mukha nito ipamukha sa kanya yung hindi naman totoo. Yun naman din ginusto niya, knowing Junhui Wen.

“Keep lying to yourself.” Tinuro sa direksyon niya ni Jun ang ballpen bago tumayo, shrugging his suit properly, and leaning to rest his hands sa table. “Ganito kasi, _brod_ , why are you afraid to lose it again in front of him kung wala ka nang nararamdaman para sa kanya?”

“Ilang taon din, Jun,” diin ni Wonwoo. “Hindi naman pwedeng—“

“Hindi pwede what? Hindi pwede o ayaw mo?”

“Ayaw na ano?”

“Ayaw mong tanggalin si Mingyu sa sistema mo.”

Wonwoo laughs, “Mahirap tanggalin yung apat na taon.”

“Limang taon na, Wonwoo,” deadpanned Jun. He slowly stands up properly to cross his arms. “One year sagad na yung,” tinaas niya kamay niya to quote and quote, “ _pagbabawi_ sa apat na taon nagsama kayo. At this point, you’re just finding reasons to deny you’re over the guy.”

Wonwoo stays quiet. Ano bang rebuttal niya don kung hindi rin maniniwala si Jun sa kanya na hindi na talaga. It’s just…

“God, _I know that face_ ,” Jun groaned. “You still love him or else, hindi ka magmumukmok diyan na makakaharap mo na siya ulit.”

“ _I_ _’_ _m scared I will again_.” Kasi ganyan naman lahat nagsimula. From them arguing.

“Sa letrang W, _Bingo_!” Jun yelled, fist bumping the air. Agad na hinilamos ni Wonwoo mukha niya. _Top 5 BAR notcher pero ang bobo rin nito minsan_. “Nakuha ko rin ang sagot na gusto ko.”

Putangina ni Junhui Wen.

[2ND YEAR, 2012]

Nasa cafeteria sila ngayon, lunch break, and pinag uusapan nilang dalawa ang mga kompanyang pupuntahan nila if ever they passed the BAR. Nasa pinakadulo sila in the corner sa usual spot nilang dalawa. Kakatapos lang ng sem.

“Eh kung magtayo nalang ako ng sarili kong firm?” Jun asks habang nagsusulat ng mga panibagong codals niya. Kinagat niya cap ng sign pen niya after.

“I mean you can.” Wonwoo shrugs. Junhui is a Wen, one of the founding head families of the frat. Old rich. Powerful. Kahit naman siguro hindi pumasa ‘to sa BAR, which he doubts dahil BAR bet din siya, his family has him backed.

“You know,” sabi ni Junhui nang icap niya ulit sign pen niya at tiningnan si Wonwoo. “I will. Ikaw una kong gagawing partner.”

“Right, pass the BAR first, _partner_ ,” Wonwoo drawls.

“Speaking of partner, anong meron sainyo ni Mingyu? Ilang months ko na rin kayo nakikitang _comfortable_.” Gumalaw pa mga kilay niya nung sinabi niya habang sumandal sa upuan niya.

“Are you insinuating that he’s my partner?”

“Why do you make it sound like it is a bad thing?” tawa ni Junhui. “I mean I get it, palagi kayong nagtutukaan pag dating sa grades and class standing pero hindi naman masama mag fornicate—excuse me, I mean mag _fraternitize_ with the enemy. _God_ I am so funny.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “We just came to an agreement.”

“Like… friends with benefits agreement?” Junhui had a smirk as he glanced behind him.

“ _No_ ,” Wonwoo denies the sexual implication. Hindi rin naman kasi ganun. They have a complicated relationship as of the moment. They didn’t hate each other but were not good friends din. It’s just an agreement that had benefits for both of them.

Awful as it sounds that just back up what Jun just said, hindi siya sexual benefits, okay. “Okay, maybe but—”

“Okay. _Yo, nwebe_!” Nag panic si Wonwoo at lumingon nang nagwave si Jun to call over Mingyu na lumingon nung tinawag siya. The fratboy motions a finger to call him at lumapit naman ito bago umangal si Wonwoo.

“Junhui.” Mingyu says hello to him before Wonwoo could say anything. Tumingala si Wonwoo from his seat to look up sa matangkad na lalaki nakatingin sa kanya.

Tipid lang yung ngiti na binigay ni Wonwoo. “Hindi ko rin alam—“

“Sit down, bro. Let’s have a chat.”

_What the fuck was Jun trying to do?_ Alam ni Jun sobrang init ng tingin ni Wonwoo sa kanya pero hindi man lang ito naiilang. _Kapal kapal talaga ng mukha, pucha._ Mingyu shrugs, not minding.

Umupo si Mingyu sa tabi ni Wonwoo at agad na lumayo si Wonwoo, sliding a little farther out para hindi sila magkalapit. Jun glances at him amused.

“So what’s the deal with you two? Sorry makapal mukha ko kahit we’re not close. I’m just curious,” diretsong tanong agad ni Jun at gusto ni Wonwoo hambalusin ito sa upuan.

Wonwoo looks down in the table while he hears Mingyu laugh. _That deep laugh_. “Friends? Ewan ko rin.” Parang orchestrated ‘tong ginagawa nilang dalawa sa paningin ni Wonwoo with how it’s like him being in a hotseat.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Mingyu. We only had an agreement.”

“An agreement you got notarized. Yup, got it.”

Junhui’s jaw visibly slacked. “ _Pinanotarize mo?_ ”

“I take my agreements seriously,” Wonwoo says.

Wala namang masama dun eh. Ayaw niya lang magkaroon ng complications about it in the future. It was tucked away safely, nakafold ng maayos sa pinakalikod ng codal notebook niya.

Notarizing a contract was just as good as being a legal bounded agreement neither of them could escaped hanggang sa expiration.

“And what does this agreement say?” Ayan na si Jun at hindi balak ni Wonwoo sagutin ito. No way in hell will he tell Junhui kung paano yung agreement. Hindi niya maririnig yung end of it from the guy.

“Don’t you dare answer that, Kim,” sabi agad ni Wonwoo, glaring at Jun. His friend was just playing now with him. Nakakaasar ‘tong si Junhui. Nakakaasar talaga ang mga mayayaman.

“Chill,” sabi ni Mingyu kaagad sa tabi niya. Wonwoo feels Mingyu look at him sa tabi niya. “Can’t say. I’m bound by a legal contract.”

“You mean you’re bound to Wonwoo.”

“You sound as if I made him my slave?!” Mas tumalas lang tingin ni Wonwoo kay Jun.

“I am, if you see it that way,” Mingyu chuckles nang ginatungan niya sabi ni Jun. Sa kanya naman tumingin si Wonwoo. Alam naman nilang pareho the agreement they had was far from _slavery_. No one had to lose from it.

Siguro pride ni Wonwoo but Mingyu was right for his reason to have Wonwoo agree.

“Then he’s bound to me too kung ganun.”

“So ano ba ‘yang agreement na ‘yan? Bondage? A NDA for a daddy care relationship?” tinanong yun ni Jun ng seryoso. Mingyu laughs at that guess habang si Wonwoo, mas naasar. Loko loko.

“Excuse me?”

Wonwoo feels appalled. Ang init init ng mukha niya.

“Tell me. No judgement naman.”

“You’re the last person I want to talk to about this,” sabi ni Wonwoo. “Just drop it, Jun. I’m not comfortable talking about it with you.”

Tumango tango si Jun. He has a smirk on his face while he shrugged halfheartedly. It’s not long before may kinuha siyang papel na nakafold sa ilalim ng codal notebook niya and Wonwoo’s eyes widen.

Nasa gitna ng mga daliri ni Junhui ang notarized contract ni Wonwoo and Mingyu. Alam ni Wonwoo sa unang tingin ang papel na ginamit niya sa agreement na yun and how it is folded. It’s how he folds all his papers into an A4.

“How the hell did you get that?!” dapat aabutin ni Wonwoo but nilayo agad ni Jun whose laughing. How did Jun get it from his codal notebook na nasa bag niya inside his car? Maingat na nakatago ‘yun. Paano niya nalaman in the first place?

Has he known all along? Damn it! Wala talaga siyang takas kay Junhui Wen.

Tiningnan ni Wonwoo si Mingyu na nakahalukipkip ulit, with a smirk, like how he usually is kapag may gusto siyang nakikita. Of course, he likes it when he sees Wonwoo in the end of frustration. Sadistic? Who knows. Eh kaya nga gusto nito inaalagan siya.

Wonwoo tries to reach for it again but ibang direction agad ibinaling ni Jun yung paper na hawak. “I read it already. So you don’t need to be uncomfortable and tell me.”

“I-It’s…” Namula si Wonwoo because the things he wrote there were far from what everyone thought of him pagkasama si Mingyu. They always fought like cats and dogs sa classroom, sa hallways, everywhere.

That agreement made him all look _mushy and cuddly_. With Mingyu Kim out of all people.

Halos mabilaukan si Wonwoo at pumula. Mingyu beside him just looks at him fondly. “What?” he snapped at him. At times, palagi niyang nakikita si Mingyu tumitingin sa kanya and he’s annoyed of it. Kadalasan wala itong sinasabi at umiiling lang. Annoying, right?

“Ang cute mo, alam mo yun?” Mingyu is grinning. Wonwoo is out of response dahil ngayon pa lang siya sinabihan ni Mingyu ng cute. Napaawang lang labi niya.

“ _Wooow_ , dito niyo talaga imamanifest yung cute niyong contract. Ayoko na nga,” pagmaktol ni Jun at tinapon ang papel sa harap ni Wonwoo. He disregards what Jun says at kinuha agad ang papel.

When Wonwoo quickly unfolds it, nag inhale siya. Tumatawa na si Junnhui while Mingyu beams from beside him. _It was fake_. Kinopya lang ni Jun yung pagkafold dahil parehas iyong papel.

“You’re good at bluffing, Wen,” sabi nito while Wonwoo glared.

“He’s going to be a bad lawyer,” he says.

“Bakit?” Mingyu chuckled at him.

“People bluff because they don’t know shit. If you’re a good lawyer, you enter the courtroom knowing everything.”

“Why can’t he be both,” Mingyu shrugs. “Bluffing could also be a tactic to make anyone blurt out the truth because you’re good at twisting what they need to hear or see since you know what cards to play.”

Hindi niya pinakinggan si Mingyu at crinumple nalang yung carbon copied agreement by Jun na blanko and binato sa kanya. Parehas din sila ni Jun in every sense when it comes to tactics.

“Keep this up and I won’t be a partner for your firm.”

Kinuha na ni Jun mga gamit niya at tumayo. “Well, future lawyers of my firm, I am out.” Sinimulan na rin ni Wonwoo iligpit mga gamit niya pero tumigil si Jun. “What are you doing? Ako lang aalis. _Kayo_ , magdadate.”

Wala bang sasabihin si Mingyu? Wonwoo looks at him and mukhang wala nga itong balak umalis din, payag na payag masolo silang dalawa. Junhui and him would make good friends, but alam ni Wonwoo that Jun wasn’t serious about getting closer to Mingyu and kinausap niya lang ito for his sake and para asarin siya.

Mingyu was not in the social status of Jun and kinakausap lang naman niya ito ngayon because of him, yun ang sigurado siya. Kilala ni Wonwoo si Jun and alam niyang under the humoring guise, Jun doesn’t like to associate himself with the likes of Mingyu.

Wonwoo stares at Jun who winks before leaving their table in a swabe manner then waving a hi to one of the group of girls sa tables. Umirap siya. Hindi babaero si Jun, he doesn’t even date but he feeds on attention. Alam niyang marami sa college of law na tipo siya.

“So,” sabi ni Mingyu na humarap sa kanya patagilid at ipinatong ang forearm sa mesa. Hindi parin siya tinitingnan muna ni Wonwoo. “Friends with benefits pala tayo?”

Napaawang labi ni Wonwoo. “What?” he spluttered.

“I passed by when Junhui said it, hindi mo ako nakita sa likod mo,” sabi ni Mingyu. Gusto na naman murahin ni Wonwoo si Junhui at mga lolo niya, mga lolo ng lolo niya, hanggang sa pinakaunang lolo niya but that wouldn’t be practical. Jun’s ancestors are his frat’s founders. Ito na naman hiya niya.

Huminga ng malalim si Wonwoo, “Not that kind but totoo naman may _benefits_ tayo sa isa’t isa with this agreement you offered in the first place.” Wonwoo turned his head to look at Mingyu straight in the eyes.

“Pumayag ka naman,” Mingyu nods, his eyes slanted in his usual eye smile. _Ang pogi talaga nito_. Sa dating inipuan ni Junhui si Wonwoo tumingin ulit. Kung ano ano naiisip niya pag tumitingin siya sa mga mata na ‘yan. He feels the ghost of Mingyu resting his arm sa likuran ng upuan niya.

“Can I get a favor right now?”

“Who are you to ask favors when the agreement states that you could only take the end of your bargain if I, A, start an arguement, B, pag tinarayan kita, C, get annoyed at you since the point is to make me feel not stressed and take care of me?” pagtataray ni Wonwoo.

Mingyu shrugs again. “You just did.”

“Oh,” Wonwoo sighs when he realized.

Hindi niya talaga naiiwasan mainis sa lalaking ‘to. Saan ba siya pinaglihi at parang sobrang anti Mingyu niya? Literal na pagkita palang nila at first sight, aaminin ni Wonwoo, may itsura talaga si Mingyu but way past that, it was annoyed at first sight for him. “Fine. _Anong gusto mo_?”

“Let's go on a date.”

[END OF FLASHBACK, PRESENT TIME]

Atty. Wen dumped cases today on him twice than how much he usually gets dahil late siya kanina at sabi ni Jun sa kanya, it’s a good distraction daw from the upcoming days na sasabak siya sa arraignments and possible trials with also the possibility of the prosecutor being his enemy in court.

Bumalik na si Wonwoo sa pagtatawag sa _kanya_ na enemy. Rival was too highschool. Hindi niya na dapat iappease pa ang presensya nito so he looks at him in the negative light. He’s saving himself from getting more invested in him again now na bumalik na ito sa buhay niya lalo na sa trabaho. Mahirap na.

Binusy ni Wonwoo sarili niya sa case niya ngayon inside his office. As a junior partner in the Wen’s firm, maganda perks at malaki ang office na binigay sa kanya. Hindi naman biased dahil kaibigan siya ni Jun but he earned it.

Everyone in the building knew he deserved it. Marami siyang mga kaso ipinapanalo para sa firm na ito. It’s how he got the title of being a junior partner in less than two years.

Napatigil si Wonwoo sa paglilipat ng pahina when he remembers Jun’s words years ago. Na gagawin siyang partner nito in his firm. Although, hindi naman si Jun totally ang may-ari ng firm but his family, it did happen. Then he also remembered Mingyu.

Wonwoo scowled at patuloy na nagbasa ng kaso. He was hunched over, kahit ilang beses na siya sinabihan ni Atty. Xu, his fellow junior partner, just a glass wall over sa harap ng opisina niya, na tigilan dahil nakakasakit sa likod and it makes him look smaller when he’s so tall.

He was manspreaded below his desk, legs wide na pinaabot niya sa magkabilang dulo at tapik nang tapik ang louis vuitton cladded shoe niya sa floor. A habit, really. His feet tapping is the only noise inside his all glass office.

Nakakatulong naman sa kanya yung ASMR because when he reviewed in law school, puro ASMR ang pinapakinggan niya with his noise cancelling headphones.

Binabasa ni Wonwoo ulit ang sinulat niyang motion para sa panibagong kaso nang may glass knocks sa pintuan niya kaya sa pagkayuko niya, inangat niya ulo niya to see who was asking permission to enter.

Atty. Xu with two paperbag on his hands and a gentle smile on his face. Napatingin si Wonwoo sa office clock niya sa pader sa harap niya and nakita niyang six na. Shit, was he working for seven hours with no lunch?

Wonwoo slips a note sa pahina where he was, then flipped it back to page one. For reminder lang. Wonwoo nodded for Minghao Xu to come in.

Pumasok ito with pushing his body dahil dala dala niya yung meryenda and his silk kimono type of cardigan flowed nung pumasok siya. Ito palagi niyang suot for some reason sa office. Even if the kimono wasn’t an ideal office attire, this guy made it look luxurious and formal kaya hindi naman siya nacacall out.

“Hey,” Atty. Xu greets him. Mahina at moderate boses niya. Sounds hesitant even. “Food?” He motioned sa dala dala niya.

“Thank you,” Wonwoo sighs, kinusot ang mga mata sa likod ng salamin. “Hindi ko namalayan I’ve been working non-stop.”

“Ever the hardworking Attorney Jeon,” Atty. Xu teases at binaba ang dala-dala na paperbag sa glass coffee table ni Wonwoo inside his office situated sa pinakagitna ng malaking office niya. “Need help? Kakatapos ko lang.”

This was Minghao Xu. He was another junior partner in Wen firm that rivalled Wonwoo when it came to being one of the top paid lawyers and pinakamagaling. Attorney Xu was more bigshot than Wonwoo, though.

Unlike Wonwoo, nakapanalo na ng trial si Atty. Xu defending a public official who was framed by another influential man somewhere sa province. Hindi siya big deal dito sa Manila but he heard it was kung saan man nangyare. It was a tight case, rinig niya. He was _that_ excellent and efficient.

Kaya hindi na nagulat si Wonwoo when he said tapos na ito sa mga cases niya for today despite their firm being one of the busiest because they were in the center of BGC—where all the rich, stuck up where.

Puro demandahan ang nangyayare sa burgis na lungsod na ‘to kaya more on civil cases din siya paminsan. Nakakapagod sa totoo lang with sometimes, nirepresenta niyang mga brats na ayaw makulong and just bail but it what keeps the money coming and Wonwoo gets to do his job. Win-win.

“May kailangan ka?” tanong agad ni Wonwoo and crossed his arms, sliding his swivel back a little to stretch his long legs under his desk. Nagtatanong lang siya dahil tuwing Atty. Xu comes to him, there’s always something to talk about.

Atty. Xu’s lips pursed at dahan dahan siyang ngumiti, tumango tango, habang nilalabas iyung pagkain from the bag. “May gusto sana akong ipaalam sayo…” Wonwoo suddenly felt alarmed dahil hindi naman ganito si Atty. Xu, skirting around him.

Umayos ng upo si Wonwoo at hinawakan rest ng chair niya. “Attorney?”

Minghao motioned to the food in front of him. “Kain muna tayo?” Wonwoo nodded at tumayo to pad through the table. Hindi naman sila ganun kaclose like Jun, but they were friends in the firm. They go out for drinks minsan.

Wonwoo sat down beside the attorney at binuksan yung ricebox while hunching down ulit. He felt Minghao staring at him already kaya napabuntong hininga na siya.

“Just get it over with, Minghao. Gaano ba ‘yan kaserious?” Wonwoo turns his upper body halfways to look at him. “May pinatay ka ba? You need a lawyer?”

Atty. Xu laughs in an elegant manner, the tension on his shoulder leaving away as they shook. Wonwoo smiles, digging again in his box. Mga abogado katulad nila, hindi na sila maiisalba from their dark humor. He got a spoon and dug in.

Masarap yung dinala ni Minghao. He always had good taste in food kaya nung hindi pa sila partners, si Minghao palagi in charge sa mga lunch with the senior partners.

It’s about a minute nang magsalita ulit si Minghao. “I’m engaged.”

Napatigil si Wonwoo at tiningnan si Minghao, mouth agape.

“Wow, congrats!” Wonwoo scoops his rice ulit at sumubo with his hand underneath para walang kalat. Hindi na surprise that Minghao would be settling down.

Lawyers like him needed the romance to enjoy despite being busy pero Wonwoo isn’t all for that… yet. Not yet. Hindi dahil hindi pa siya nakakamove on pero wala pa siyang tiwala ulit. He’s not ready to bare his soul to anyone, only to be left again.

Minghao chuckles. Nagsimula na rin siya kumain and they ate in silence. Occassional hums nilang dalawa when the viand was good dahil iba ibang klase dinala ni Atty. Xu.

“You know him.”

Wonwoo grabs a napkin sa may paperbag at pinunasan labi niya, twisting to look at Minghao again. “Really?” He chewed the remaining food as he perked up sa sabi ng fellow junior partner niya.

Wonwoo knows a lot of people so hindi na siya nagulat na kilala rin ni Minghao, now even dating the person. Halos same circle lang din umiikot lahat ng tao sa kanilang mga abogado.

“I heard from Jun…” Minghao inhales. “ _Na may past kayo ni Mingyu_. I just wanted to let you know.”

It stops Wonwoo from eating and just like that, _his world shatters_.

_Nag aalangan pa siya baka bumalik ang lahat pero mukhang wala na palang babalikan_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ma, i'm sorry ma. CHEKA
> 
> again, reminder lang, in this universe, wow universe!!! na legal ang same sex marriage but not divorce. huwag niyo na ako tanungin bakit. ganun talaga.
> 
> MTC - Metropolitan Regional Court  
> Reclusion Perpetua - 20 to 40 years but it depends din depending on how grave the crime is and a whole lot other complicated table.  
> Notarized Contract - a document contact or any agreement sworn to or before a lawyer.


	3. ang tanong sa aking sarili

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wonwoo asks the same question twice.

Halos pwede nang masunog iyong sahig niya sa opisina sa kakalakad niya pabalik-balik sa harap ni Minghao, kasabay nang pagtakbo ng mga tanong sa utak niya.

Wonwoo pinched the bridge of his nose, too overwhelmed with the twists from the past three days that has given him.

Kung tinuloy niya lang pag iibang bansa niya siguro hindi siya mahihirapan ngayon, but, wala eh. Kasalanan ito lahat ni Mingyu Kim why he is left scathed when it comes to love, and out of all people na papakasalan nito, ay ang kaibigan at katrabaho niya pa.

Why did Wonwoo’s world revolve around him so much still kahit tinakbuhan na siya nito years ago. Ayaw na ni Wonwoo makaranas ng heartbreak but here he is, heartbroken again. All this convincing to himself na hindi na siya apektado kay Mingyu kasi nakalimot na siya, sino ba pinagloloko niya?

Tinakbuhan niya lang ang sakit, dinaan niya sa galit. What he has been doing all these years was not moving on, but running away.

He was running. Running from the pain he was left with and running from the thought of Mingyu Kim with everything he left behind. Hindi iyon ang tamang pagmove on.

The worst thing when you had a past is when the past of yours get tangled up with the present, leaving you confused, overwhelmed by your feelings. Iyong pakiramdam na hindi mo alam kung saan ka na tatakbo because you feel cornered. Paano ka uusad kung ganun?

Minghao had no expression on his face nang pinapanood niya lang si Wonwoo maglakad sa harapan niya. Like talking with a client, mga kamay niya nasa harapan niya, nakapatong sa hita niyang nakadekwatro in front of him. “Wonwoo,” tawag niya.

Nagtaas ng kamay si Wonwoo. “I can’t… I can’t think straight if dadagdag ka pa, Attorney Xu—pucha, nevermind.” Tumigil si Wonwoo sa paglalakad and just stares at the lawyer sitting down, nakatingala sa kanya nang seryoso. “Did Prosecutor Kim tell you anything?”

“About you?” Minghao asked back. “Not exactly,” he confirms. “But I heard it from Jun.”

“Jun knows?” Kung alam naman pala ni Jun, Wonwoo will never forgive him. Jun knew. Kakausap lang nila tungkol sa tao kanina, why did Jun delay the inevitable kung malalaman niya lang din naman?

“Not until today and that it was Mingyu. I’ve kept it a secret from anyone in this firm until I decided I can’t keep it anymore.” Minghao’s face was solemn nang nagtitigan lang sila ni Wonwoo. “Was it that serious?”

“Alam kong ikakasal na kayo pero labas ka na ron. It’s not,” Wonwoo answers, giving a tight smile. He lied to ease Minghao’s obvious guilt. Nahahalata naman ni Wonwoo eh.

“I’m sorry, Minghao. Can you give me time to process this? I don’t want to give you a half assed congratulations. You don’t deserve that from me dahil apektado ako sa taong papakasalan mo. I’m sorry, I really—”

“Attorney Jeon,” Minghao calls him gently, kaya napatigil siya. Ganito palagi si Minghao sa kanya kapag they talk about work and Wonwoo stresses out. Attorney Xu has always been the person sa firm that pulls him back to reality. The lawyer had that aura to him. It was not hard to relax when he was around.

“Please don’t feel sorry. I feel like I should be the one—”

Umiling si Wonwoo. “Don’t.” Napatikom si Minghao, tumango in understanding.

“‘Wag kang magsorry dahil ikaw pinili. It would be unfair for me.” _I would feel belittled_ , he wanted to add. Ngiti lang na hindi komportable parin ang binigay ni Minghao sa kanya dahil halatang hindi niya alam ang sasabihin pabalik.

Who can blame him? It looked like na kung ano meron sa kanila noon, Mingyu kept it shut and locked away for the rest of his life. If that didn’t hurt more. Siya na nga nang iwan, siya pa lumimot.

Akala ba ni Mingyu madaling makalimot pag iniwan ka ng walang kahit anong pasintabi? A head’s up would’ve been nice. NakapagBAR pa sila, Jesus Christ! Wonwoo was left wandering. He was left lost.

The prosecutor left him with a blurry future when they promised a clear one together. They once dreamed together to be where they are today but instead, when he left, naging ripple effect. Wonwoo was left—to reach his dream to be a lawyer alone.

The audacity pa na ganunin siya sa kotse niya when ikakasal na pala siya? Kung punong puno na si Wonwoo ng galit sa katawan dahil sa kanya, umaapaw na.

Besides, didn’t Mingyu tell Minghao anything about his law school life? Wonwoo was the biggest part, alam na alam ng lahat iyon. Gago naman pala siya kung lahat nang iyon itinago niya. If they were to get married, diba dapat malaman ni Minghao ang lahat?

Bakit kailangan niya pa bumalik? Bakit hindi na lang tinago kung ano meron ang kanilang nakaraan like what he’s been doing all these years naman pala? God, he wanted to punch anything to relieve his anger.

Halos masakit sa tenga iyong katahimikan na bumabalot sa kanilang dalawa. Si Wonwoo nakatingin lang sa labas, tinitingnan lang ang mga dumadaang mga sasakyan. Nakatingin lang din sa kanya si Minghao pero iniiwasan niya nang tingin.

“What do you know?” Wonwoo asks, continue watching in a bird’s eye habang nasa pinakataas-taas din sila ng building. Ito ang ginagawa niya pag nagmumuni muni siya. Things that moved, cars, anything really na nakikita niyang umuusad, past time niyang tingnan.

He only hoped all these years he had done the same for himself, pero paano?

“I’m afraid… what do I don’t know?” Minghao brings him back to his reality. Anong ano pa dapat ang hindi pa alam ni Minghao? Did he know what Mingyu did to him?

“What?” Lumingon na si Wonwoo para tingnan si Minghao.

“I know everything.”

Ah.

Nag alangan si Wonwoo tanungin pa ulit si Minghao. May gusto siyang malaman. Halatang Minghao read Wonwoo. He knew Wonwoo and his nature after working with him for quite some time.

“Why am I with the man whom I knew left someone in the past? You must feel angry…” Minghao purses his lips pero walang bakas ng kahit anong masamang loob in the possibility Mingyu’s ex boyfriend might be angered dahil siya ang papakasalan at hindi siya, na iniwan. “Never mind. You aren’t that kind of person.”

But Minghao knows Wonwoo. Kaya he shrugs his first question off and Wonwoo feels lighter dahil halos kanina niya pa itikom sarili niyang hininga. Hindi rin siya galit kay Minghao.

It’s not his fault for loving someone who hurt someone else because loving someone meant you accepted everything, from the good down to the bad. Kaya hindi kayang magalit ni Wonwoo kahit kailan. Minghao was his friend first bago niya nalaman ang lahat nang ito.

“But I thought Mingyu didn’t tell you anything?” Wonwoo asks again. Talaga bang kwinento sa kanya ni Mingyu ang lahat? Kung ganun, ang swerte naman niya pala. Did Mingyu ever show to Minghao that he regrets what he did? Wonwoo crosses his arms and continue to stare at the road beneath him.

“I know everything but Mingyu never gave a name pag pinaguusapan namin. He tends to keep to himself a lot… I’m only lucky he shared some things from his past… but he also kept things out. Like your name. So when Jun told me about you and him... I figured, it was you who he’s been talking about.”

Isang segundong katahamikan.

Biglang— “Am I pitiful?” napatanong siya, sa sarili o kay Minghao ba ang kwestyon, hindi niya na alam.

Hindi rin inasahan ni Wonwoo itanong iyon. Bigla nalang lumabas sa bibig niya ang kwestyon. Si Minghao rin, napaawang ang labi, trying to find the words to say pero walang lumalabas sa bibig niya. Minghao decides to shut his mouth with another solemn look on his face.

“Damn,” Wonwoo laughs, realizing kung ano talaga ang sitwasyon niya ngayon after another moment of silence after his question. “I am pitiful.”

Ano bang ginagawa niya ngayon? Kahit anong sagot na gusto niya malaman kay Minghao that Mingyu shared everything with, while he suffered all these years, it wouldn’t be enough. No words could fill the hole Mingyu left in his heart when he was the half of it for four years.

“Invite me to your wedding, yeah?” Ngumiti na lamang si Wonwoo, pinapanood ang mga sasakyan. Maganda ang araw ngayon. Walang traffic. Sana hindi parin hanggang mamaya pag uwi niya.

Walang sagot si Minghao roon but a small, sympathetic smile.

Ah, ang kawawa talaga niya.

“Jun.”

Wala na siyang kasong kailangan ayusin today na hindi kailangan asikasuhin agad agad. Wonwoo felt beat nowadays with everything that’s going on. Ayaw naman niya mag trabaho kung pagod siya. Hindi siya makakaisip.

“Ano?”

“Mukha ba akong kawawa?”

Tumigil si Jun sa ginagawa niya. Tumigil siya sa pagbabasa ng kaso at tiningnan si Wonwoo nang walang clue kung anong pinagsasabi niya. Ang out of the blue. Kanina naguusap lang sila tungkol sa mga civil cases ni Jun.

“You? Kawawa?” Jun shakes his head slowly. He slowly turns his page back to page one. “Paano ka magiging kawawa? You are the third top paid lawyer in this firm that is part of the top five best ones in the country. You earn a lot. You have a sports car. Paano ka naging kawawa?”

“Minghao told me.”

“Ah,” Jun nods. There’s no sympathy or anything in his face. It’s understanding, mostly. “Still a no.”

“How?”

Nakahiga si Wonwoo ngayon sa couch ni Jun, nakatiklop mga braso niya sa likod ng ulo niya at sinasandalan. He took his shoes off kanina and laid them down. Nakatingin lang siya sa dingding simula kaninang umalis siya ng opisina niya to bother Jun, and rest.

“That’s just one person, Uno, while you have a lot more. Hindi ka kawawa, that I promise you.”

Babalik sana si Jun sa trinatrabaho niya but Wonwoo scoffs making him look at the defense lawyer again. Ano ba problema nito?

“What do I expect from you? You have everything.” Tinanggal niya isang kamay niya sa likuran ng ulo niya at inangat, tinitingnan ang dingding habang inaabot pataas ang kamay niya.

“I still don’t have a wife.”

Wonwoo lets his hand fall loosely on his side nang sinabi ni Jun iyon. He is a supposedly straight man.

Pero natawa si Wonwoo. His chest moving sa tawa habang nakahiga. “Your supposed wife is getting married to my ex. That makes you pitiful too, ‘no?”

Joke lang naman but sa ayaw man aminin ni Jun, Wonwoo knows may patagong nais ‘to kay Attorney Xu, like sino bang hindi sa firm, excluding him.

Halos lahat ng abogado, interns at nagtratrabaho sa firm, were big fans of the lawyer. Masyadong mabait, may itsura, matalino—many of the reasons why Mingyu was going to marry him at this point.

He scoffs lightly again, a pitiful smirk quirking up on his face.

“Ilang beses ko ba sasabihin sayo I don’t like men. Besides, I’m just following my own advice. I expect you follow it too for a happier, healthier, single life.” Hindi nalang papansinin ni Wonoo iyong una niyang sinabi. Jun might eat his words in due time.

“And that is?” Inanggulo ni Wonwoo katawan niya to look at Jun and folds his elbow, itinungkod ulo niya rito.

“Look at what you have more than what you don’t have. What’s the point of still losing yourself over something you don’t have? You’re just looking at something hindi naman para sayo. Now, that’s pitiful. So, just let it be. As for me, I just look at my bank account.”

“Money doesn’t solve everything,” sabi ni Wonwoo.

“But it does in our poor society, Attorney. It gives you a choice. So, piliin mo tingnan ang meron ka. Piliin mo naman maging masaya. Let all the anger go. Ano ka? Galit hanggang ngayon habang siya masaya at ikakasal na? Kawawa ka talaga.”

Wonwoo grimaced. “I’m just trying to be accepting.”

“So does this mean you’ll start moving on?”

Ikakasal na si Mingyu, ano pa ba mangyayari? He hates that he’s hesitating. Wala nang natira sa kanya that was part of Mingyu. Kailangan niya na ilunok iyong realidad na iyon.

“The proper way,” desididong sabi niya na at lumunok. Sa dingding lang ulit siya tumingin, letting himself sink again in the comfort of Jun’s couch. He’s a lawyer now. He’s attained what he had dreamed long before Mingyu came.

“Uy, ‘di niya dineny hindi pa siya nakakamove on.” Nagbabasa na ulit si Jun, may ngisi.

“Gago,” Wonwoo sighs at itinaas na ang sarili para umupo. Sinuot niya na ang sapatos niya ng maayos at kinuha ang blazer niya sa tabi. “Bahala ka mamatay mag-isa.”

“Harsh,” sabi ni Jun habang nakayuko. “Close the door on your way out.”

Nakasampay na sa kamay ni Wonwoo blazer niya at nang palabas na siya ng opisina ni Jun. Bubuksan niya na ang pintuan but before he leaves, may gusto siyang sabihin kay Jun. Tiningnan niya sarili niyang repleksyon sa glass door ng opisina.

Magulo na buhok niya dahil isang oras din siyang nakahiga sa harap ni Jun. His long sleeves were also crumpled at the parts of his buttons, pero maayos ayos pa naman siya dahil nakatupi ang mga manggas niya hanggang sa siko.

“Attorney Wen,” tawag niya and pinapanood ang repleksyon nito.

Jun didn’t bother to lift his head up. “What?” Maingay siyang nagsusulat. His sign pen was noisily scribbling against his paper.

“If he asked you to come to the wedding, pumunta ka.”

There’s a long pause. Ano pa ba hinihintay ni Jun, pumayag na siya, kung wala lang naman sa kanya na pumunta sa kasal ni Minghao. “Why?” he asks, skeptical, tinitingnan na si Wonwoo ulit sa pintuan.

“I told Minghao to invite me.”

He gets a laugh from Junhui. Iyong tipong mocking. Alam naman ni Wonwoo iyon ang makukuha niyang reaksyon galing kay Jun. “You make yourself look pitiful than you already are.”

Tumikom ang kamay ni Wonwoo sa ilalim nang blazer niya. “Nawala na sakin lahat nung umalis na siya. Sinagad ko na lang, Jun.”

At dahil dun, napatawa rin siya sa ilalim ng hininga niya, “Sana masaya ka sa sarili mong pera,” iyong na lang ang sinabi niya at umalis sa opisina ni Jun.

Jun was shaking his head only at him, patuloy lang nagbasa nang lumabas si Wonwoo sa opisina niya, pushing the glass door closed behind him.

Wonwoo didn’t have the energy anymore to go back to his office and do work kaya diretso siyang pumunta ng elevator, agad na bumukas iyong pinto dahil merong elevator na nakaabang na at pinasok niya ito with the intent of going home.

He groans, releasing the stress from his throat at sumandal sa pader. Sumasakit na rin likod niya dahil lamigin ang kanyang likod, the pain aching sa pagitan nang likod ng kanyang batok at balikat. Hinawakan niya likod niya and presses his finger to give pressure, trying to relieve the knots of pain by massaging it.

Tangina, pagod na pagod siya ngayong araw. Naramdaman niyang lumagutok mga lamig sa likod niya nang ginalaw niya batok niya at napabuntong hininga siya sa sarap.

The elevator doors open. Ni hindi naramdaman ni Wonwoo na tumigil pala sa isang floor ang elevator. Sabagay, marami rin ang mga abogado rito hindi umuuwi nang maaga at mga masyadong ginagabi na rin.

Napatayo nang maayos si Wonwoo at si Minghao ulit ang kanyang nakasalubong, na dala dala ang bag at mukhang gulat din na si Wonwoo ang nakaharap pagkabukas ng pintuan. Ngumiti siya papasok parang hindi sila nag usap kanina.

Shit, Wonwoo felt awkward, pero mukhang sa side niya lang iyon. Minghao didn’t look tense sa reflection unlike he is who was still holding his shoulder. Mas sumasakit lang batok at likod niya dahil sa ginagawa niya.

“You don’t have to be so awkward, Wonwoo,” Minghao breaks their silence at napairap nalang si Wonwoo, tired. _You_ _’_ _re not in my situation, as if you would understand my pain_. Siguro pagod lang niya iyong nagsasalita but he doesn’t mean it deep down.

So Wonwoo settles for a, “It’s hard not to,” sabi niya. Halatang tagos sa ilong.

Minghao only gives him a sad smile through their reflection sa mirror. Wonwoo feels bad dahil alam niyang nararamdaman na naman ni Minghao na binibigyan niya si Wonwoo ng paghihirap now that he revealed he was his ex’s fiance.

“I’m okay, Minghao,” Wonwoo reassures. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Nakita niyang humigpit ang hawak ni Minghao sa strap ng bag at may dapat sasabihin pero bumukas na ang elevator. Tumango lang si Wonwoo at binigyan siya ng isang huling ngiti bago lumakad palabas, entering the lobby with a resigned look on his face.

Hindi siya galit kay Minghao pero mahirap din harapin ito. Siguro what was best is that he avoided him for the time being bago pa man siya mag masabing hindi maganda at hindi naman karapatdapat marinig ni Minghao. He doesn’t want to lose a colleague, more importantly, a friend over a man.

“Wonwoo?”

“Excuse me?” Wonwoo gets pissed, dahil sa building walang tumatawag sa kanya ng Wonwoo dahil as a junior partner and the firm valued honorifics base sa posisyon, walang pwedeng tumawag sa kanya ng kanyang pangalan aside from his fellow junior and senior partners.

To his horror, ang pinakaayaw niyang tao ang tumawag sa kanya at sa likod niya, nakahabol si Minghao with an apologetic look on his face. “Wonwoo.”

Nanlamig si Wonwoo sa taong nakaharap niya, the man standing to rise in his full height at may nerbyos itong ngiti sa kanyang mukha.

Bakit siya nandito?

Lumingon si Wonwoo dahil tinawag siya ni Minghao and he tiredly scoffs. Of course. God, he’s so tired, ayaw niya na ito i-deal with but here he is. Bakit ba ang hilig siyang malagay sa sitwasyong kaya niya naman takasan but it involves so much effort? The best thing for him to do right now is to walk away.

So, he does.

Pero putangina, bakit kailangan siya pigilan ni Mingyu?

“Wonwoo.”

“Let go,” Wonwoo says tiredly. Pinigilan siya ni Mingyu sa paghawak ng kanyang pulsuhan and it just pisses him off. Ayaw niya gumawa ng eksena and certainly, ayaw niya ito makaharap. Gusto niya nang umuwi at matulog.

Mingyu’s hold on his wrist loosens and tumango siya, grateful. Hindi niya na nilingon pa si Mingyu at patuloy naglakad papalayo.

Mingyu wouldn’t hold that against him, right? Siya naman unang lumayo. He’s just doing the same.

Hindi na siya nilingon ni Wonwoo pa.

[2ND YEAR, 2012]

“Hindi naman pwedeng hindi ka kumakain,” paalala ni Mingyu nang pinuntahan niya si Wonwoo sa condo. Iyon agad ang salubong niyang mga salita sa kanya at nairita agad si Wonwoo, as usual. Masyadong demanding ‘tong si Mingyu when it comes to his wellbeing parang siya iyong may ari ng katawan niya but it’s what they agreed on, so whatever.

“Paano mo alam na hindi pa ako kumakain?” sumbat niya kaagad dito at umupo sa couch niya para manood ng telebisyon. It was his usual dinner cooking show na pinapanood pag gabi habang hindi pa siya nagrereview to calm his mind.

Ayaw naman niya ng drama dahil mastrestress lang siya at mapapaisip when he needed to relax before reviewing and hindi rin balita dahil mas lalong makakagulo iyon sa isipan niya kaya tuwing umaga lang siya nakikinig o nagbabasa online.

“Nakasunod ako sayo buong araw.”

Nilingon agad ni Wonwoo si Mingyu. “Stalker.” Pero kahit ganoon, he didn’t really meant it deep down. Alam naman niyang nakabantay ito sa kanya.

“I just happen to be the same place as you in the campus,” aniya habang nagkibitbalikat si Mingyu, nasa kusina, kita ni Wonwoo, kakalapag lang nang styrofoam na mga lalagyanan at binubuksan ito. His food ba? “Ano dala mo?” he asks. Medyo kumakalat na yung amoy simula nang binuksan ni Mingyu and it actually smells nice. Amoy butter.

“Buttered shrimp at crab marites,” sagot ni Mingyu, “From your favorite restaurant.”

Napangiti si Wonwoo, napadala sa gusto niyang kumain nang kanyang paborito. “Talaga? Binili mo pa ‘yan sa Makati?”

“Binigay sakin ng tatay mo.”

Wonwoo’s excitement dahil sa pagkain diminished. Mingyu noticed his change of mood that went from 1-100 real quick. “Are you sad I wasn’t the one who thought to buy you your favorite?” May ngiting nakakapangasar na naman si Mingyu.

“No…” Wonwoo snorts, sa telebisyon niya ulit humarap. “Bakit hindi nalang siya ‘yung nagbigay?” Wonwoo sulks, konti lang naman.

Gusto pa naman niya makita tatay niya. It’s been months since he went home or the old geezer visited him.

“Nakita ko siya naghihintay sa labas,” Mingyu says, tumalikod para kumuha ng plato. “Mukhang nagmamadali. Kasama driver niyo. You said he only has a driver pag may meeting, right? I offered to give it.”

“Whatever,” bulong nalang ni Wonwoo. For the past years, nagkikita rin minsan si Mingyu at tatay niya without his knowledge and it always irritate him to no end dahil parang hindi siya iyong anak.

Business man kasi tatay niya and with Mingyu, mas nakakausap niya ito with the same interest dahil Mingyu was business minded as well.

Kaya sa kanya nagpapatulong si Wonwoo pag dating sa taxation, Obli, or corp. Undergrad kasi ata ni Mingyu ang business management. Hindi sure ni Wonwoo. Hindi naman talkative si Mingyu tungkol sa sarili.

But it’s funny though how he managed to invade everything in Wonwoo’s life. Unfair naman ata?

Wonwoo licks his lips. “Mingyu,” tawag niya. Gawan kaya niya nang paraan para mas makaopen up ‘to? He wants to do it for the sake of hindi siya ang napapakinabangan lang. Hindi dahil interesado siya. Not at all. His own affairs was Mingyu’s own.

“Yeah?” tawag ni Mingyu, pabalik. “Come here. Food is ready.”

Tumayo siya. Pinuntahan niya iyong island counter at umupo sa harap ng matangkad na nakasandal na sa kabilang counter adjacent ng counter sa harap niya. Default na rin ata na may maliit na ngisi ‘tong si Mingyu sa mukha pag nakatitig.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Hindi pa ba ako boyfriend material?”

Wonwoo was about to dig in, sobrang sarap ng naamoy niyang butter and all that spicy goodness from the crabs with the smell wafting around the kitchen, but napatigil siya nung tinanong siya ni Mingyu. A pissed off smile plasters into his face.

“Boyfriend na kaagad? Pwede namang bunso na nagdadala ng pagkain.”

Nawala agad ngisi ni Mingyu at nanliit ang mga mata niya. Something in Wonwoo finds it funny, realizing what he said. Hindi rin niya naman minimean sinabi niya, like often these days, kaya nagulat lang din siya sa sinabi niya.

“Bunso?” Mingyu is blatantly not amused.

Wonwoo couldn’t help it. Tumawa siya, a geniune one surprisingly pero hindi niya namalayan, “Yeah… bro,” sabi niya ng may sariling ngisi.

“Tsk,” pitik lang ni Mingyu sa kanyang dila at tinanguan ang pagkain. “Eat already or I’ll make you eat it how a bro shouldn’t do.”

Masyadong malakas ang dating nang innuendo kaya wala pa man ding nasusubo si Wonwoo, halos masamid na siya. Stupid mouth of Mingyu’s. Hindi niya na lang pinansin at kinain niya ang pinadala ng tatay niya and as his favorite, the goodness of his favorite seafoods melts into his mouth.

“So… how’s school?” Mingyu attempts at small talk. Wonwoo is gladly to comply. Baka may mapiga rin naman na siyang impormasyon tungkol sa kanya.

Wonwoo chews his food first at nilunok bago magsalita. Hindi siya iyong tipong madungis makipagusap pag may pagkain. “I thought you were following me the whole day,” hindi niya maiwasang maging sarkastiko.

Pagdating kay Mingyu, his mouth just becomes a word vomit of sarcasm. Ewan niya kung bakit. Nasanay lang siguro sa classroom or pag nag-aaral.

“I wasn’t following you in my will.” Mingyu’s small lisp is evident, binato ang pagkasarkastiko pabalik. “I said I was just at the same place at the same time, may ginagawa rin ako so I don’t know what you were up to other than studying.”

“Eh, ayun lang naman ginawa ko,” Wonwoo shrugs his answer. “Ano pa ba ginagawa sa law school?” Tanong niya pabalik. Sarkastiko na naman. Walang sawa. Susubo na ulit siya ng kanin but Mingyu says something again making him stop.

“You’re part of the frat. There must be something you do other than studying.”

Nanlamig kamay ni Wonwoo na hawak hawak niya ang kutsara at nabitawan niya. The spoon full of rice splats into the plate with a loud clink, kalat kalat na sumabog ang kanin.

Matalas ang tingin ni Wonwoo kay Mingyu. “Wala ka na dun.” Kung may isang bagay na ayaw niyang pinaguusapan, it’s his fraternity. Anything he does inside is his affairs and kapwa brods only. It’s just his business and ayaw niyang pinapakialaman yon.

Mingyu chews his upper lip, dahan dahan tumango, hindi mabasa basa ang mukha. Kanina nakahalukipkip mga braso niya, ngayon hindi na at lumapit sa counter ng pinagkakainan ni Wonwoo, at sinandal ang mga kamay dito sa kanyang harap naman.

Nakakamao ang mga kamay ni Wonwoo sa gilid ng plato niya at masama parin ang tingin niya kay Mingyu. His eyes then goes to lower down in Mingyu’s muscled arms with veins that connected down at itong isang kamay niya ay biglang lumapit.

Napahila agad si Wonwoo nang sariling kamay, thinking Mingyu was about to hold his hand.

Hindi kamay niya. Iyong kutsarang nahulog. Inayos niya ang pagkalagay sa plato ni Wonwoo dahil nga nahulog ito at sinimulang isa isang pinupulot ang mga kaning nakalat sa counter.

Mingyu scoffs, “Ang kalat mo.” Umiling pa siya. Tuloy tuloy niyang pinupulot ang mga kanin at iyon lang ang pinanood ni Wonwoo. Ang maugat na kamay niya.

“Mas makalat ka,” Wonwoo blurts out, sa mukha ulit ni Mingyu nakatingin. “Kung ano anong lumalabas sa bibig mo.” At marami rin sinasabi si Wonwoo pabalik kaya mas nakukunsinti lang si Mingyu sa mga kalokohan na lumalabas sa bibig niya.

“Marami pang kayang gawin ‘tong bibig ko,” Mingyu says with another smirk at kinain ang mga piranggot ng kaning pinulot niya, nakatingin nang diretso kay Wonwoo.

Ew.

Umirap si Wonwoo at pinulot din ang mga piranggot na mga kanin na tumalsik sa t-shirt niya, head down, narrowed eyes picking them bit by bit. Nga pala, naalala niya na kailangan niya maglaba sa Linggo. Yung mga kanin dahil malagkit na dahil sa ulam, nahihirapan si Wonwoo tanggalin ang mga dumikit na kanin.

Napansin naman ito ni Mingyu so he beckons over again by the counter to near Wonwoo at tinulungan siya kunin ang mga kanin nastuck sa shirt niya. “I can do it,” sabi ni Wonwoo, swatting away Mingyu’s hand but the latter insisted by still doing it.

Wala nang nagawa si Wonwoo but let Mingyu at tumingala siya. Too close, he realizes, Mingyu’s face was too close to his even if it was looking down to his shirt, busy.

“Tingnan mo. Natakot ka ba dahil I asked about what you do in the frat even if it was just vague?” Tanong ni Mingyu, still busy picking the rice in Wonwoo’s clothes. Wonwoo couldn’t answer.

Mingyu’s face was too close to his. Again. But this time, it made Wonwoo feel something out of the ordinary. He felt suffocated with how close Mingyu was.

“It was just sarcasm, no need to be scared. Ilang beses mo na sinabi na whatever you do in frat is your business at hindi ko papakialaman ‘yon, unless mapahamak ka.” Pagkapaliwanag ni Mingyu, ngumiti siya at mukhang napulot niya na lahat ng kanin kaya tumingala siya.

“Oh,” bulong ni Mingyu, at mas natulala lang si Wonwoo nang biglang bumaba ang tingin ni Mingyu sa kanyang labi at pabalik sa kanyang mga mata. It shines with a joy Wonwoo knew that could never lie. “Tulala ka diyan.”

Bakit Wonwoo never noticed how Mingyu was this handsome? Bakit ngayon lang niya binigyan ng pansin ang mga nunal na mayroon si Mingyu? Why did this man’s warm eyes suddenly felt like a deep pool where Wonwoo could drown in them?

Itinagilid ni Wonwoo ang kanyang ulo sa kanan at ngumiti. Totoong ngiti. A smile to himself how foolish he was not to realize that he felt something for this man. Be it annoyance or something akin to love, this man has invaded his life in so many ways and he realizes right now that Mingyu Kim is special to him.

“Huh? Bakit ka nakangiti nang ganyan?”

“Wala ka na dun.”

[END OF FLASHBACK, PRESENT TIME]

Ang corny.

Maldita’s song strummed in the background, blasting through his speakers as he drowned his body sa bath tub. Pagka-uwi na pagka-uwi niya ito ang ginawa niya. Lunurin ang katawan sa bath tub, hanggang bibig. Ang ilong niya lang ang nakaangat para makahinga at may salamin din siya na halos lumalabo na.

Hindi kumakanta si Wonwoo or anything. Hindi siya mahilig makinig ng ibang genre.

He listens more to RnB’s, mga cool songs this generation listens to dahil kadalasan, hindi naman malaman lyrics. Sure, meron naman kadalasan, but this genre doesn’t give him rhythm of beats that are sad where he might find himself wallowing in tears.

Ngayon, nakikinig siya nang corny na kanta. Ang corny.

He finds it corny that he now relates to a song that is the epitome of how he loved Mingyu.

“Bakit ikaw pa ang napili,” Wonwoo hears, may bubbles sa harapan niya dahil onting nakaangat ang kanyang bibig at hinihinpan niya ang tubig. “Ngayon ang puso ko ay sawing sawi.” He never listened to the song but this was the first time at alalang alala niya kaagad. It’s hard not to.

He remembers the way Mingyu held his wrist. Masyadong familiar iyong palad na humawak sa kanya kanina at masyadong tugma ang kanta where it hits the most. Hindi nakakatuwa makaalala at makarinig nang kantang masyadong tugma sa kanyang nararamdaman.

Wonwoo can’t help but let out tears that he’s been holding for quite some time. Pumatak ang mga ito sa tubig pero hindi niya rinig. Nakasandal na ulit siya. Nakalublob na ulit ang kanyang tenga. Ayaw niya na makarinig.

Wonwoo hiccups in the water, creating another bubble. May mga tubig na pumasok din sa kanyang bibig but he spits them back inside the water. Kinain ng kanyang buhok ang mga luha na dumulas lang patagilid sa kanyang anit.

Remembering so much how he loved Mingyu is painful.

Seeing him again and to find out he’s getting married after so long was more.

[FRIDAY, 2020]

“Attorney,” iyong kliente, nagpakausap habang tinitingnan lang siya ni Wonwoo nang walang ekspresyon dahil wala na siyang kayang magawa para sa kanya. “I don’t want to go in jail.”

“Should’ve thought of that first, right? Before committing fraud?” Wonwoo deadpans. “I’m telling you. Just get a plea bargain here, sir. I can’t help you get away freely with how heavy their evidence is against you.”

“But I’m telling you, hindi ko nga ginawa!”

“Sino pinagloloko mo rito?” Wonwoo pinches the bridge of his nose. He knows all these kinds of people, all too well. “Do you know how ruthless the prosecutor we’re up against is? Prosecutor Kim… I don’t know my chances with him are,” Wonwoo explains, the frustration in him finally seeping out.

“This is why I hired you,” sabi ng kliente at tama naman siya, pero alam ni Wonwoo na may mga laban alam niyang matatalo siya at hindi na niya kailangan itaya pa. This is where bargaining with the prosecution comes at times.

“Well, you hired me because I know what to do, so I’m telling you, this is the only way,” Wonwoo calmly explains. “Hindi ako naglalaro ng madumi. That’s not the kind of lawyer I am. All I can help you now is to find you a lesser sentence—“

“Forget it,” the man says. “You’re fired.”

Wonwoo gladly complies. Hindi naman bago.

Pinanood ni Wonwoo lumabas ang lalaki at pagkasarado niya ng pinto sa kanyang opisina, Wonwoo groans out loud, pasigaw. “Why is Jun sending all these assholes to me?” Sometimes Wonwoo hates that Jun is his supervisor. Kung ano anong kaso ibinibigay sa kanya.

Tiningnan niya ang malaking mga bintana niya ulit habang nakasimangot. Kanina, nabanggit niya na si Mingyu na ang magiging posibleng prosecutor para sa kaso kung hindi siya finire nung kliente.

Huh, he was actually looking forward to it, pero marami pa rin siyang doubts dahil hindi niya alam kung paano umakto si Mingyu bilang prosecutor. Hindi siya pwedeng maging complacent ngayong sa MTC branch na nila siya nakapwesto at siya ang makakaharap ni Wonwoo madalas.

“Here’s something to put your frown upside down,” ang sinabi ni Jun nang pumasok siya bigla sa opisina niya. Sinalubong agad ni Wonwoo ito nang pikon na ngiti because he’s still salty about the client that just walked out.

“Ano naman ‘yan?” Kita ni Wonwoo na may dalang manila folder ulit si Jun at sigurado siyang kaso na naman. Sana naman na hindi na katulad nang kanina. “Give it.” Kinuha ni Wonwoo nang inabot sa kanya ni Jun.

Pagkabuklat ni Wonwoo ay binasa niya kaagad ang laman.

Wonwoo relaxes at totoo ngang napangiti siya dito. Jun actually gave him a nice pro bono work this time.

“Thank you,” sabi ni Wonwoo, “I can handle this.”

“Bet you can,” tango ni Jun. “Sorry about the recent one. Nakasalubong ko siya kanina at mukhang hindi mo nga kinuha. He forced that he wanted the best lawyer when he came so.”

“Best lawyer? Minghao or you are there,” sabi ni Wonwoo. Madali lang naman ‘tong pro bono work. Baka nga hanggang arraignment lang ‘to if he played the cards right.

“Maybe in the eyes of the senior partners, but as the owner of this firm, you are. And I’m busy.”

“First of all,” Wonwoo mumbles, “Imamana mo palang ‘tong firm. Second of all, what do you want?” Distracted na tinanong ni Wonwoo.

He’s already trying to memorize the facts of this new case. But not distracted enough to know na may gusto si Jun kapalit.

Rinig ni Wonwoo paano tumawa si Jun awkwardly at naramdaman na umupo ito sa silya sa harapan ng desk niya. Dinilaan ni Wonwoo hinlalaki niya to flip the next page. Hindi sumagot si Jun kaya madaling niya munang tiningnan.

Jun has an awkward look in his face.

“What do you want?” ulit ni Wonwoo at halos matawa siya dahil mukhang constipated si Junhui. This man was never _not_ confident. What happened to him?

“Be my date.”

“Excuse me?” Tawa ni Wonwoo, “The hell, ano pinagsasabi mo? Date? Saan? Akala ko ba hindi ka bakla.”

“Date to Minghao and Mingyu’s engagement party.”

Now here’s the thing. Wonwoo is a simple man. Simple lang siyang tao, kung may gusto sa kanyang ipagawa, pasayahin mo lang siya pabalik at handa niya nang gawin ang trabaho for you. Ganito palagi ang set up nila ni Jun at Soonyoung nung law school. Nakasanayan na rin nila ni Jun ito ang gawi since iisang firm lang sila.

“Not enough.” Wonwoo smiles and closes the manila folder. “One case? Make it five good ones.” Gusto niya ibusy sarili niya bago siya sumabak ulit makaharap si Mingyu. In his engagement party, nonetheless.

“I’ll see what I can get.” Wonwoo watches Jun sweat balls sa harap niya and it’s quite amusing. _Indenial straight men?_ Kahit walang connect, sarap parin nila paglaruan.

Though, Wonwoo has to ask, “Bakit wala ka bang babaeng kaibigan para maging date mo? At ako pa talaga.” _One of the groom_ _’_ _s first love_.

“Minghao was going to invite you, right? Might as well.” Ito na naman si Jun na wala ring kapake-pake what Wonwoo might feel.

“Right,” Wonwoo shrugs naman parin. He can’t miss it for the whole world. Also one thing about Wonwoo, he goes all out. So pag ang process nang pag move on ay to try makita si Mingyu na may iba, then, he will.

Kaya nung nasa law school, palagi siyang napapagsabihan ni Soonyoung he puts too much pressure on himself. Kinakailangan eh. You won’t survive the real world if you don’t get use to it.

“Buy me coffee?” Wonwoo adds. Isagad niya na ‘tong favors.

Willing naman si Jun. “Anything for you, heartbroken.”

“Manahimik ka, closeted.”

[2ND YEAR, 2012]

Nag review lang silang dalawa buong araw dahil may recit ulit bukas at mukhang pang final midterm grade na iyon. Wonwoo can’t botch it. He’s been struggling a bit with civil again so he needs to get at least an eighty nine.

At pag nakaperfect na naman si Mingyu, pag sabit ang score niya, there’s a possibility that the prof is going to curve and si Wonwoo, babagsak. Can’t have that.

So when Mingyu told him to help him, against his pride, he agreed. Iyon din contract nila. Better who to help him than the guy na malaking chance top 1 again at maibagsak siya, diba? He’s working smart. If he does real good, baka siya rin top 1 this sem.

Mingyu reviews him then sumipsip sa kanyang milk tea. Sa iPad siya nagbabasa nang reviewers niya while si Wonwoo, sa libro mismo. It’s a small detail pero pansin ni Wonwoo sa pinagkaiba nila ni Mingyu, the latter was more practical.

Sinagot naman ni Wonwoo iyong tanong with a little bit of buffer, but Mingyu nods in approval when Wonwoo gets it correct. Ilang oras na rin sila nagtatalo minsan kapag mali sagot ng isa, idinedefend pa.

Wonwoo played Mingyu’s game well. Mahirap din kausapin kasi si Mingyu, na kahit anong lumabas sa bibig, aakalahin mo tama sa sobrang galing niya magsalita. If Wonwoo didn’t know better, he would get swayed any chance Mingyu got at whatever bullshit he spoke.

“This is enough,” Mingyu says at napailing si Wonwoo.

“Can’t we do another hour?” Hindi parin confident si Wonwoo. Ego aside, ayaw niya talaga hindi makakuha nang hindi kanais nais na grade tomorrow. Better safe than sorry.

“Ilang beses mo na ‘yan sinabi kanina,” iling ni Mingyu pabalik at tumawa. “I held in my end of the bargain to help you study and now you look exhausted, it’s time you hold on to mine.”

Tsk. Damn contract. Wonwoo was still about to insist pero alam na ni Mingyu kaya pinigilan niya si Wonwoo. “No. Don’t say anything else, baka pumayag ulit ako. Mahina ako pagdating sayo.”

Wonwoo blushes at that but he huffs. “Tangina naman eh, pag ako hindi pumasa dahil nakaperfect ka na na—“

“I promise,” diin ni Mingyu, “You will not fail. Ako nagreview sayo. At, tama na ‘tong ginawa natin today. May bukas ulit nang umaga.” Sinara niya na iPad niya and shoots a comforting smile to Wonwoo.

Mas uminit lang mukha ni Wonwoo. “Don’t keep promises you can’t keep.”

“So do well, alright? Ikaw naman mag quiquiz recitation for yourself, hindi ako,” Mingyu laughs at gusto lang tampalin ni Wonwoo iyong bibig niya. Masyado siyang confident, walang kahambugan sa katawan.

Kaya niligpit na nila ang mga gamit nila and Mingyu offers to drive Wonwoo’s car. “What?” Tanong ni Wonwoo, clutching his keys sa sarili, skeptical. “Marunong ka magdrive?”

“Oo naman,” Mingyu nods. “My boss taught me.”

“Boss?” Wonwoo’s confused. He never heard of Mingyu talking about himself like this? “Nagtratrabaho ka?”

“Oo?” Pati si Mingyu, parang hindi sure sa sagot dahil kay Wonwoo. Tumawa siya at kinuha ang susi kay Wonwoo when he let his guard down. Wonwoo’s jaw slacked nang marealize niyang nakuha sa kanya ni Mingyu susi niya nang ganon ganon na lang.

“C’mon. You rest in the shotgun.” Binuksan ni Mingyu ang kotse at umakyat sa mataas taas na kotse ni Wonwoo in the driver’s seat while napilitan na si Wonwoo habang bitbit mga gamit niya, umikot sa passenger’s side at pumasok nang doon nakaupo.

Si Wonwoo nagdrive sa kanila kanina from school to this cafe nearby na hindi masyadong pinupuntahan ng mga taga Beda kasi doon sila sa kabilang side where most food chains where located.

As usual, his car smelled like him, sweet roses dahil sa car freshener na gamit gamit niya, regalo ng kanyang mom. His mom originally wanted it daw to give it to his sister pero naiwan amidst the other left souvenirs, so binigay nalang kay Wonwoo iyong mga boxes of it.

Wonwoo was forced to use them and has been using it for years. Kaya palagi siyang inaasar ni Mingyu na mabango pag fresh out of the car. He actually felt his exhaustion from studying all day and closed his eyes pagka-on nung aircon.

Sa pag pikit niya, hindi niya nakita habang pinaandar ni Mingyu ang sasakyan at nagreverse, hawak hawak sa upuan niya, tinitingnan ang likod, sinulyapan niya si Wonwoo na may ngiti.

“I can feel your eyes on me,” hula ni Wonwoo. Kahit nakapikit siya, ramdam niyang tinitingnan siya ni Mingyu at tama naman hula niya. He peered one eye open and nagkatugma nga mata nila habang nagrereverse si Mingyu.

“Galing,” Mingyu praises, jokingly. “Ano gusto mo prize?”

“Don’t perfect your quiz.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Mingyu utters.

“Worth a shot,” kibitbalikat ni Wonwoo na nakasandal. Nagbibiro lang din naman siya. Parehas silang kumakayod for law school. “Gisingin mo ako when we reach school.”

“Who says we’re going back to school?”

“Huh?” Litong tanong ni Wonwoo. “Ibababa kita then I’ll drive going to my condo.”

“Ako na maghahatid sayo,” paalam ni Mingyu pero mukhang wala nang kailangan ipagpaalam pa. Nasa direksyon na siya papuntang condo the other way from pabalik sa school. “Wala ng angal, please.”

Wonwoo wants to grumble. Masyadong ineenjoy ni Mingyu ginagawan ng pabor si Wonwoo, he hopes it won’t bite his ass back one day sa dami na niyang ginawa. Ayaw niyang may debt. Kahit ilang beses sinabi ni Mingyu na wala, nag aalangan parin siya.

“Well as long as you always argue with me or we keep this push and pull with the rankings sa classroom for the top spot, then we’re even,” ang palaging sasabihin ni Mingyu.

Nakatulog si Wonwoo kahit masama loob niya sa paghatid sa kanya ni Mingyu ng ganitong oras at pagkagising niya, nasa apartment niya na siya. Hinuhubad ni Mingyu ang kanyang sapatos.

“Gyu?” He croaks out, iyong boses niya na mababa, mas mababa pa dahil sa tulog. Hindi niya pa namamalayan fully where he is.

Wonwoo’s eyesight is blurry without his glasses kaya hindi niya kita ang bakas ng pagkagulat ni Mingyu sa nickname, but he recovers quickly. “Hey, sleepyhead,” sabi ni Mingyu with a soft smile. “You’re home.”

Wonwoo groans, putting his forearm sa mata niya dahil masyadong maliwanag ilaw sa kwarto niya. Puta, who said it was a good idea to have blinding yellow orange lighting?

Inakyat na naman siya ni Mingyu sa apartment niya dahil tulog siya. Hindi niya alam kung maiinis siya o mahihiya ulit. Bakit hindi siya ginising ni Mingyu? Malamang sasabihin na naman niya is masyadong mahimbing tulog niya.

“Konti na lang and iisipin ko I don’t deserve you,” Wonwoo husks.

Ilang segundo nang matanto ni Wonwoo ano sinabi niya dahil kakagising niya lang, nagising diwa niya at napaupo nang mabilis. “Uhm,” he panicked like a fool and Mingyu stares at him from the floor with a small smirk.

Tumayo si Mingyu. “I’ll lock the door on my way out.”

Walang ibang sinabi si Wonwoo nang tumalikod si Mingyu at palabas na ng kwarto niya. Hindi niya alam gusto niyang sabihin. Almost two years of having this set up, hindi parin alam ni Wonwoo paano mag thank you without getting awkward when all they did nung first year was butt heads.

“Mingyu,” narinig nalang ni Wonwoo ang sarili. Maybe he’ll regret it the next day pero ngayon, gusto niya nalang matulog at alalahanin midterms bukas. “Sleep here with me.”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

It’s not the first time, anyways.

[END OF FLASHBACK, SATURDAY, 2020]

Wonwoo finds himself in the mall. Bibili siya nang bagong damit para sa party. He really did bother because lahat ng suits niya sa closet, gamit na gamit na. Hindi fitting for an event na intimate gathering.

“Sir, anything else?”

“Wala na.”

Nakuha niya na iyong bagong pair of suit with a matching nice tie and mukhang mababawasan na naman bangko niya. Hindi biro ang price na nakita niya kanina but he doesn’t bother since ang sweldo niya, mas mataas, multiplied once a month.

“Dito ka rin pala bumibili. You have good taste.”

Wonwoo doesn’t have to look to know who the man is. Tumigas ang kanyang katawan sa kinakatayuan dahil hindi niya inaakalang, sa lahat nang lugar, dito ulit sila magkikita.

“Am I not allowed to?” He couldn’t help it. He is brought back to the old times. Where all he was is a sarcastic prick to him. Wonwoo’s also surprised nakakayanan niyang makausap ito nang ganito.

Tumawa ang lalaki. Ang tawang malumanay at hanggang ngayon, masarap parin pakinggan sa tenga. If anything, it went down an octave and it became huskier with the years that went by.

“You are. I’m just surprised, is all.” Hindi alam ni Wonwoo ano sasabihin don, hanggang sa naalala niya ang nangyari months ago. The first time he fleetingly saw him.

“I should be the one surprised,” sabi ni Wonwoo nang tapik-tapikin niya ang black card niya sa counter ng cashier, “Akala ko sa SM ka bumibili ng mga ganito.”

Mingyu hums. Hindi parin ito tinitingnan ni Wonwoo. “We saw each other way back but you didn’t dare approach me.” The sentence irks Wonwoo. May ugat ata sa leeg niya nairita sa sinabi nito.

“Why would I? Sino ka ba?” Hindi niya napigilan sabihin. He gives himself a mental pat in the back na magmukhang matapang when weeks ago he was just begging him to let him go.

“Right,” Mingyu falters. Wonwoo realized he was harsh but he meant every word he said. Wala namang karapatan si Mingyu sabihin iyon. “I heard you turned down the alumni talk.”

Isa rin pa iyong alumni talk. It’s actually been a week nung orientation and biglang dumami ang pile na gagawin niya nang humingi siya kay Jun ng lima pang kaso out of his favor, so he has no choice but to back out.

“I’m too busy for it. Naiintindihan naman ni Justice.” Wonwoo doesn’t understand why he is still answering him.

Wonwoo stood beside Mingyu with a set face kahit iyong puso niya halos parang mahuhulog na sa dibdib niya. Parang gustong kumawala at bumalik sa matangkad na katabi niya where it belonged.

“Okay.” Iyon lang ang sabi ni Mingyu at akala ni Wonwoo iyon na ang katapusan. Ang tagal nung cashier. Gusto niya na mabayaran iyong binili niya.

“You? Tuloy ka?” Wonwoo curses himself mentally dahil nagtanong pa siya. Bakit ba?

“Oo,” Mingyu was not hesitant to answer.

“Okay.” Wonwoo still doesn’t look at him at sakto, makakahinga na siya nang maluwag dahil galing sa backroom, bumalik ang cashier na may dala dalang card scanner.

“Sir, card please.”

Wonwoo lets the woman his card and Mingyu also does the same with the other man that came to tend for the things he bought. It’s awkward.

Ni isang beses, hindi parin lumingon si Wonwoo sa tabi niya dahil ayaw niya makita si Mingyu.

Then the worst happened.

“Sir… cut off na po iyong credit card ninyo.”

Fuck, Wonwoo doesn’t bring cash. Hindi siya nagdadala ng pera dahil kampante na siya sa credit card niyang nakaconnect sa kompanya. Hindi maalala ni Wonwoo kung nagbayad ba siya.

Kinapa kapa ni Wonwoo bulsa niya para sa wallet niya pero damn it, hindi rin niya pala ito dala. Dala dala niya lang credit card niya sa pocket niya dahil ito lang naman pinuntahan niya dito. He was about to have a melt down.

“Miss, ako na magbabayad,” Wonwoo hears Mingyu offer, and dahil doon, finally, tiningnan na ni Wonwoo si Mingyu na nasa tabi niya in a snap of his head. “Charge it to my card.”

“What? N—“ he was ready to protest pero nang lumingon si Wonwoo, parang mabagal na nilingon din siya ni Mingyu.

Wonwoo wanted to laugh, pero hindi sa tuwa. Mingyu was unbelievable. Always saving him. Iyong galit niya, parang nagsisimula sa paa hanggang sa ulo.

In anger, he was about to grab Mingyu’s arm to stop him dahil sa harap ulit ito nakatingin nang walang ekspresyon sa cashier na may tumunog nang malakas na cellphone.

Wonwoo watches Mingyu look down at his pocket, kinuha ang phone niya at lumingon sa kabilang direksyon.

He swiftly glances apologetically at Wonwoo bago lumakad sa mga racks para sagutin.

“Brad.”

Wonwoo exhales, inaalo ang sarili huwag mahigh blood. He was still young but it didn’t mean he wasn’t getting any younger din. He faces the cashier, “Please don’t charge it. I’ll—“

“Ah, sorry, sir,” paumanhin nung lalaki. “Naipasok na po iyong balance.”

Pinisil ni Wonwoo ang ilong niya sa inis.

Pinanood niya si Mingyu, all in his casual fit, nakablack shirt lang siyang yakap sa katawan niya, nakagrey na shorts at tsinelas na mamahalin. Naglalakad ito habang may seryosong nakikiusap sa telepono at mas ginugulo lang ang buhok niyang magulo na.

“Sir, ito na po mga pinamili niyo at ni sir.”

“Thanks,” Wonwoo seriously says.

“Hindi niyo po ba kaibigan si sir?” Tanong nung lady and Wonwoo willed himself to be polite kahit everything in him wanted to scream sa inis, _NO!!_ Putangina ni Mingyu for doing this in the first place.

“It’s complicated,” lang ang sabi ni Wonwoo at kinuha lahat nang pinamili niya. Kasama nang kay Mingyu. He was planning to not take anything.

“Welcome, sir… Come back again.”

Ayaw na ni Wonwoo kung dito rin sila palagi may malaking posibilidad ni Mingyu magkita but he says nothing, only giving a tense smile.

Nilapitan niya si Mingyu na gulat na lalapitan siya at mukhang hindi pa siya tapos makipagusap kaya mukhang may sinabi ito sa kausap bago inilayo ang telepono sa tenga.

Walang kahit ano, galit ni Wonwoo na ibinaba lahat nang pinamili ni Mingyu, pati iyong sa kanya na binayaran sa harap nito.

Napaawang labi ni Mingyu sa harap niya nang ginawa niya iyon at may sasabihin sana but Wonwoo beats him to it.

“Keep it.”

Wonwoo doesn’t give any Mingyu a glance anymore at paalis na sa harapan ni Mingyu nang pigilan na naman ito sa paghawak sa kanya in his elbow.

“Wonwoo.”

This is fucking deja vu. Lahat nalang nang pagkikita nila nauuwi sa ganito. Pipigilan siya. Sana all napipigilan. Wonwoo wasn’t even able to stop Mingyu from leaving him.

“Fuck off,” Wonwoo grits out, ikinakalas siko niya but Mingyu tightens his hold at kung hindi lang pala gym si Wonwoo nowadays, his arms would’ve hurt because he used to have thin arms. “I don’t want you paying for me. I’ll just come back.”

“Walang refund,” Mingyu says from beside him. “Sayang pera ko if you’re not going to get these when I can’t wear them because they’re not my size, ‘no?” Wonwoo can feel the burn of Mingyu’s gaze down on him.

Tangina niya. Ilang taon na at alam niya parin weakness ni Wonwoo when it comes to practicality. Wonwoo was so frustrated he didn’t know whether he wanted to punch or kiss Mingyu. Better not the latter because he’s getting married.

“How should I pay you and when?” Wonwoo exhales, letting his anger subdue after a few moments.

“Dinner. Tonight.”

Dinner. Huminga siya nang malalim. Kaya naman. Kakayanin. Maybe it could be another to step to try to become better at facing him. Para hindi rin awkward for the sake of Minghao.

Against Wonwoo’s better judgement at lahat nang warning signals, he finds his resolve weakening for the man. _Diyos mahibagin, ang hina ko_. Buntong hininga ni Wonwoo.

Mahina ang pagkasambit ni Wonwoo nang kanyang pag payag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wonhui bardagulan because why not? grabe bakit ang rupok ni wonwoo grr hindi ka dapat pumayag anak!!!!! i also hope you don't take offense sa "wife" thing. this is obviously just fiction and whatever these characters say, it doesn't reflect my take about heteronormative standards. sinasabi ko lang, baka awayin niyo ako eh, huhuhu :(


	4. 'di alam kung kaya pa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the two lawyers go to dinner. they come across familiar faces. timeskips. wonwoo's birthday. attorney hong gives advices—and slips up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **please be minded that there might be a little bit depiction of fraternity abuse in this chapter. hindi naman malala but still. this is a heads up. in no way the actions portrayed by the members here are reflective of their true nature in real life or the students of the school used for referenced for this fiction reflect them or their school. please be responsible in reading. thanks!**

Parang kailan lang iniiyakan ni Wonwoo si Mingyu dahil ang sakit makaharap ito pagkatapos ng ilang mga taon at beses. Ito nadudulot nang kanyang pagiging praktikal, ayaw niyang magkaroon ng ibang utang kay Mingyu kaya ito, binabayaran niya ngayon in a form of dinner.

Well, hindi naman din kasalanan nung pagkapraktikal niya but he reminds himself, to bring a damn credit card. This is all because he didn’t have any cash on him at nacut off pa credit card niya dahil hindi niya sure kung nakabayad na ba siya.

Ah, tangina niya talaga, kung ano anong sitwasyon na lang siya napupunta lately. It’s been heavy with the workload he’s clearing before the man in front of him’s engagement party. Bakit nga ba ulit siya pupunta?

_Sadistic son of a bitch_. But Wonwoo reminds himself that Minghao is a colleague and friend. Kahit ba si Mingyu iyong papakasalan nito, he won’t use that as an excuse to miss out a very special gathering for his good friend.

Wonwoo has been sitting still in front of Mingyu ever since umupo sila dito sa restaurant na pinili ni Mingyu. Nag convoy lang silang dalawa papuntang dito. And damn Mingyu Kim for choosing his favorite restaurant.

It’s almost tempting to enjoy ordering food that he will enjoy pero ayaw niya naman ipakita kay Mingyu iyong pagiging comfortable. He’s anything but that.

Mingyu pours himself wine, and napataas kilay ni Wonwoo nang pinanood niya ang kulay pula umapaw sa baso. Pagkakatanda niya, hindi mahilig si Mingyu uminom ng wine. Not that it’s relevant in present time dahil maraming nagbago.

“I hope you know you’re not being forced to have this dinner with me. Pwede mo namang iuwi iyong mga pinamili mo,” sabi ni Mingyu sa harapan niya at napatikom ng panga si Wonwoo. Alam niya ang kasunod.

“But then if you left without paying me through this dinner, I’m more prone to ask for a payback that would be more uncomfortable for you.”

_What can get more uncomfortable than having dinner with you?_ Gusto igiit ni Wonwoo ang mga salitang iyon kay Mingyu pero hindi siya kumalas sa pagiging kalmado niya. Also, hindi pa long overdue itong makaharap si Mingyu?

A closure? Sinara agad ni Wonwoo ang posibilidad sa isip niya. Hindi pwedeng dito sila at this time magkakaroon ng closure. It’s not a good time and sa isip ni Wonwoo nor it will ever be. Para saan pa?

Siguro sa iba, gusto nila ng sagot, but Wonwoo is a man of practicality. Nakita na ni Wonwoo sa maraming tao na mga nasaktan. The result was always the same: walang kahit anong sagot ang makakahilom sa mga sugat na humilom na may iniwang peklat. So, what for? Ikakasal na si Mingyu.

The waiter comes with their ordered food, langhap kaagad ni Wonwoo ang amoy ng kanyang paboritong alimango. Saglit niyang tiningnan ulit si Mingyu to check whatever. He also doesn’t know why napatingin siya.

Mali rin na tumingin siya kasi nakatingin na rin ito sa kanya. Agad na inalis ni Wonwoo ang tingin niya and focused on the food that was about to be served. Inayos niya rin ulit ang bib niya sa kanyang kwelyo.

It’s a silent dinner kahit may background classical music na pinapatugtog iyong restaurant. They don’t say anything. _No one is bothered to say anything_. Ano ba pag uusapan nila? Ngumunguya lang siya nang mabagal, sa plato niya nakatingin. Wonwoo used to be awkward with dinners or meetings but years later, he learned to be graceful about it.

Sinubukan ulit ni Wonwoo kumuha ng patagong pag sulyap kay Mingyu. Nakakunot ang noo nito habang nakakagat sa labi, sinusubukang ihati ang pang ilan niya ng alimango. He uses a crab cracker too—the crab makes a crunching sound.

“You remember when I crack them for you?” Biglang sabi ni Mingyu, medyo hirap magsalita at may ngiwi dahil medyo mahirap paghiwalayin ang alimangong hinati niya.

A bitter feeling comes. Ito talaga pag uusapan nila? Hindi niya alam anong pakay ni Mingyu sa pagsalita. Wonwoo doesn’t want to do this. Mingyu is such an asshole, pretending everything’s okay.

“Sana hindi ka nalang nagsalita,” Wonwoo says, before he wipes a napkin to his mouth sophisticatedly like he is in a meeting, at uminom ng tubig, instead of wine, in the rounded glass.

Binaba ni Mingyu ang alimango niya sa plato at ngumisi. _A curl of the lip Wonwoo used to kiss_. “Same old Wonwoo.” Kalimutan na the lips he used to kiss, gusto niya na lang sapakin.

“And you’re still an asshole like when you left.” Ayan na nga, hindi niya napigilan ang kanyang bibig. He kinda felt numb saying that, Wonwoo thinks, and he is irritated. Hindi na siya katulad ng dati.

“Perhaps,” Mingyu shrugs, wala man lang bakas sa mukha na naging regretful siya o ano. Biglang naalala ni Wonwoo iyong meme na sinend ni Soonyoung na amerikanong lalaking kumukurap dahil hindi siya makapaniwala.

But Wonwoo shows no emotion to what Mingyu said. Parang ampalaya siyang nagbigay ng ngiti. “Good to know you’re aware.”

The tension this table has increased tenfold and ang gusto na lang ni Wonwoo ay umalis, iwanan na si Mingyu. What was he staying for, anyways? It is starting to suffocate him kahit hindi sila magkalapit.

It was always suffocating with Mingyu, but it wasn’t the bad kind years ago bago lahat magkandaleche-leche. It was always the good kind of suffocation where he wanted to always drown in Mingyu.

And in the years he was away, nakasanayan na rin ni Wonwoo na wala siya kaya ang gusto niya nalang ngayon ay mapalayo sa kanya.

“Just give me money,” buntong hininga ni Mingyu like an asshole na mukhang siya pa iyong naabala, “Obviously you don’t want to be here any longer. I’ll save you the energy.”

A mirthless laugh spills out of Wonwoo’s lips, tawang walang bakas ng saya pero tawang puno nang hinayang. Iyong tawa ni Wonwoo na dating henwino pagdating sa kanya, wala ng kulay at saysay. It’s a cold, elegant laugh.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Wonwoo’s words mix with his laughter at may mga luha nang namumuo sa kanyang mata. Ito na naman. Hindi naman malakas tawa niya at pahina na nang pahina ito.

“Who said I wanted to be here in the first place?” Wonwoo asks, wala nang ngiting sarkastiko sa mukha niya ngunit matigas na ang mukha niya sa emosyon. “You’re such an asshole for being ignorant with how I might feel these days we bump into each other.”

“I’m aware,” Mingyu sighs out pero inilingan siya ni Wonwoo.

“Are you really?” Wonwoo spats, minamadali niyang tanggalin ang bib na nakatali sa kanyang leeg. Medyo mahirap dahil halos sa galit messy niyang binubuhol ang tali sa likod. “If you were aware, you’d actually do something about it.”

_Para siyang robot kaya paulit ulit na lang_ _‘_ _to mangyayari sa kanila_. _Ano nangyari, Mingyu? This wasn_ _’_ _t who you used to be._

Wonwoo hurts. He hurts more than he was already, he gave himself too much pressure as if he didn’t know that already para pumayag sa dinner. Hindi niya pa pala kaya makaharap si Mingyu nang ganito. What more sa engagement party?

“How can I prove that to you kung palagi mo ako tinatakasan?” Mingyu is harsh with his words and Wonwoo finds it unbelievable. Nararamdaman niya nang umiinit ang leeg niya sa galit.

Finally natanggal na ni Wonwoo iyong bib na nakapulupot sa kanyang leeg at gigil niyang itinapon sa lamesa. Hindi man lang niya naubos iyong pagkain. Nilunok ni Wonwoo ang lahat ng ibang mga makukulay na salita dahil gusto niya na lang mamaalam. To get this over with.

They have a staring match, Wonwoo stares with angry eyes at Mingyu who has an unreadable straight face. Ito rin iyong mukha niya sa parking lot noon, Wonwoo can see clearly dahil wala na siyang luha ngayon nakikipagusap.

Maybe if fate had it different from them, Wonwoo would’ve found Mingyu’s face beautiful with the way the orange lights hit his handsome face and he could stare at those warm orbs nang walang galit at puro pagmamahal lamang.

“Of course I’d want to run away from you.”

But this was his fate.

Kung saan hindi na sila ni Mingyu.

“You ran away before I could even get ready to start with our shared dreams, Mingyu. Is it bad that I would want to do the same now na nakamit ko na pangarap ko, na ni kahit saan, wala kang parte. At—” huminga nang malalim si Wonwoo.

“—sabi ko noon ikaw ang kinabukasan ko pero nung nawala ka, naging parte ka na lang ng nakaraan ko and it’s better if you stayed there because I sure as hell am doing great without you,” ang huling sinabi niya bago siya tumayo at nilapag ang papel na may sulat ng contact ng paralegal niyang magbabayad para sa suit. Why didn’t he think of it kanina pa? He was too clouded.

“Thanks for the dinner. Sana hindi na tayo magkibuan nang ganito.”

“Wonwoo,” tawag ni Mingyu nang malumanay at mabilis din siyang napatayo, iyong upuan niya halos mag ingay but no one is bothered by the light screech. Mas umiibabaw pa ang halo ng ingay.

Mabilis na umalis si Wonwoo from the table and manuevered his way from the different tables out to the restaurant, kahit tinanguan siya ng mga servers sa may pinto _thank you for dining_ they said, dire-diretso parin siya lumabas.

Dapat makakalabas na si Wonwoo but it was raining, natanto niya, at valet nga pala ang parking dito. Hawak hawak na ni Wonwoo ang handle ng pintuan pero agad siyang napabitaw because of his realizations.

Kung minamalas nga naman siya, isip niya at napabuntong hininga kasabay nang pag kusot ng mga mata niya sa likod ng salamin niya. Parang gusto maglupasay ni Wonwoo sa sahig but that wouldn’t be appriopriate.

And of course, nakahabol si Mingyu sa kanya at nakatayo ito sa likod niya. “It’s raining and you’ll have to wait your valet out.”

“I know,” Wonwoo snaps, turning around. Bwiset na naman siya and that’s all what clouded his mind. Seeing Mingyu triggered a lot of emotions in him that he can’t stop anymore. At higit sa lahat, hindi niya pinipigilan ang sarili because alam niyang sa sarili niya, everything he felt is _valid_.

Iyong sinabi ni Jun na wag na magalit dahil siya lang ang talo, limot niya na. He’s just thirty four but baka mamamatay lang siya ng maaga dahil sa konsumisyon dahil sa mga desisyon niya sa buhay.

“Sinasadya mo ba ‘to?”

With narrowed eyes, tiningnan ni Wonwoo si Mingyu na binasa ang labi at tumingin sa gilid niya with a disbelief look on his face, at nakapamewang. “So kasalanan ko na rin umuulan? Kasalanan ko rin bang your favorite restaurant’s parking is valet?”

_Kasalanan mo kung bakit ako ganito_.

Ang lakas ng sarcasm sa tunog ng boses niya. Iritang irita na naman si Wonwoo.

“Ang pilosopo mo, putangina,” giit ni Wonwoo sa ngipin. “I told you, I don’t want to do anything with you ever again so please,” Wonwoo at this point, borderline nagmamakaawa na siya, “ _leave me alone_.”

Mingyu still has furrowed brows, with his head staring at the side at unti unting tumatango siya. Dapat may sasabihin siya pero parehas sila napatingin sa biglang may sumingit. Both of their heads snapped into the direction of the man who bumped into them.

“ _Kyu_?”

Wonwoo pales as a sheet nang makita niya ang kanyang mga brods na nakasalubong silang dalawa ni Mingyu. Out of the people na pwedeng makakita sa kanila in this state, it’s none other than Wonwoo’s frat brods at seniors niya.

“Attorney Choi, attorney Yoon,” Wonwoo greets, hinawi ng kanyang mga daliri ang kanyang buhok patalikod when he greets the two. All he felt was dread.

Seungcheol Choi stands with a raised brow while Jeonghan Yoon has a bright smile on his face pero Wonwoo knows better than to be fooled by his smile. Wonwoo fucking hated Jeonghan pero sa kanya na iyon.

Isa siya sa mga demonyong brods back in law school. He was also a manipulative, power tripping fucker. To say Wonwoo suffered in his hands sa law school is not an exaggeration.

Tumingin ulit si Wonwoo kay Mingyu who was clenching his jaw, not amused to see them too. At least, ito mapapagkasunduan nila, but may tumataginting na thought why Mingyu doesn’t look so welcoming. They had no relations nung law school, sa pagkakaalam niya.

“You were on a date?” Seungcheol asks, nakahawak agad sa bewang ni Jeonghan nang triny niyang lapitan si Mingyu. Wonwoo narrows his eyes on the raven haired man na nakanguso dahil hindi siya pinapayagan ni Seungcheol lapitan si Mingyu. _Anong meron?_

“As if,” Wonwoo smiles tensely. “ _You were on a date_?” balik niya and Jeonghan finally gives him attention. The fucker smiled at him, may ningning na naman sa mata that would look warm in any other’s eyes but not to him.

“We were!” Ngumiti sa kanya si Jeonghan. Wonwoo is lowkey surprised he didn’t deny it. Nung huling balita niya, he was dating attorney Hong. “How are you, attorney Jeon? It’s been a while since I saw you.”

Mas malakas na ang ulan ngayon na rinig sa labas and napalingon siya to glance at how heavy the rain is.

“I’m fine,” Wonwoo grits. Gusto niya na matapos ‘tong formalities. He wants to go home now and Seungcheol knows him better so he saw how Wonwoo wanted to be anywhere but with them.

“Alright, honey,” sabi ni Seungcheol, tugging the back of Jeonghan’s sweater, “We have to go, valet is here.”

Nilingon ni Jeonghan si Seungcheol with a sad face, looking at Mingyu again. “But I haven’t spoken to Kyu in a while. Can’t we bring him home?”

What is up with his nickname kay Mingyu? “Bring him home?” Wala ring preno bibig ni Wonwoo na itinanong. Live in na rin ba si Seungcheol at Jeonghan? “Ano ka tuta nila?”

Honestly, he’s so pissed sa mga nangyayari, he doesn’t care anymore how to act at kung marinig siya.

“Don’t push it, Wonwoo,” Mingyu sighs in frustration at hinawi ang magulong buhok nung tumingin siya kay Jeonghan na nagulat sa outburst ni Wonwoo. Like hell, Wonwoo cares. Wonwoo only stares at the cashier’s direction.

“I’m sorry, Han. Maybe next time.”

Malambot at malambing boses ni Mingyu kay Jeonghan and Wonwoo stiffens. Anong relasyon nila sa isa’t isa? _Han?_ Bakit ganon ang pakikitungo ni Mingyu kay Jeonghan when Mingyu had hunches of how Jeonghan treated him way back. He looks at Seungcheol who was already looking at him but with an expression different from his— _knowing_.

“You’ve been ditching me ever since you were assigned to Makati. Nagtatampo na ako Kyu ah,” Wonwoo hears dahil may staring match parin sila ni Seungcheol. Napakamao siya sa gilid niya and parang puputukan siya ng ugat sa inis.

He hears Mingyu sigh again beside him. Akala ba ni Wonwoo parang ayaw niyang makausap si Jeonghan based on his expression pero ngayon sobrang apologetic niya, hindi maintindihan ni Wonwoo. “I’m really sorry, Han, alam mo naman busy pag transfer.”

“Okay, fine, I get it. C’mon Cheol, let’s go,” Jeonghan mutters, and finally Wonwoo glances at his frowning expression. Jeonghan doesn’t even spare him a glance nang may bodyguard sa labas nakahintay na at may payong.

Not even when tumabi siya para bigyan ng daan iyong dalawa, si Seungcheol lang tumapik sa balikat niya at ramdam niya ang malamig na hangin habang umuulan from the opened door.

Nagbuntong hininga na naman si Mingyu sa tabi niya and all he wants to do is ask questions pero hindi naman pwede. He told Mingyu to stay away and so far, kahit naiwan ulit silang dalawa, Wonwoo is left with questions while Mingyu goes back to their table at iyon na ang huling pagkikita nila.

[MONDAY, 2020]

“Your birthday is coming up. Any plans?” tanong ni Jun habang may mga pinipirmahan.

“I don’t know, stay at home,” Wonwoo answers in a mumble, distracted reading a case dahil may arraignment siya mamaya. He’s just doing his usual routine of fact checking before anything else.

“You’re already what? Going for the big three zero,” Jun says and alam na ni Wonwoo nakasimangot ‘to. “You have to celebrate it. Hindi pwedeng nakakulong ka na naman sa birthday mo. This is the fifth year you’re not celebrating it.”

Right. Limang taon na niya hindi cinecelebrate birthday niya and he would like to keep the streak going. Hindi naman dahil may bad memories siya from his birthdays, aside from him and Mingyu celebrating it alone with each other for four straight years, he’s just too busy.

“If you want me to be your date sa engagement party then let’s not celebrate it. Sagabal lang sa pagtapos ko ng trabaho.”

Hindi umimik si Jun.

Just as Wonwoo thought.

[FRIDAY, 2020]

Just like every year hindi siya magcecelebrate ng birthday, puno lang ang Kanyang Facebook private messages ng mga bumabati, mostly his old acquiantances from law school, other employees from the firm at mga taong nakasalamuha niya sa MTC.

There are even Judges who texted him through his number, nothing new. They weren’t friends but it’s common courtesy to greet lawyers, prosecutors, Judges, Justices and any of those in the law profession happy birthday’s. Wonwoo doesn’t take them to heart.

Sila Soonyoung at Junhui, they’re also busy with work so all they could do is send him the same message and it doesn’t bother Wonwoo. This has been repetitive for how many years at gaya ng sabi niya, he would like to keep the streak going.

It’s not sad. It’s just practical. Why start celebrating now when he hasn’t for years?

Wonwoo is in his apartment, nakapalibot na naman ng mga maraming libro at papel sa sahig, all arranged in order around him about one of the cases Junhui gave him. It’s an estafa case, what does he expect living in a power hungry city.

It’s almost noon at palubog na ang araw, kitang kita ito sa big windows ng penthouse niya at malambot ang pagkadapo ng ilaw sa buong kwarto. Nang inangat ni Wonwoo ang ulo niya, he squints and his nose scrunches dahil sakop nang bumababang araw ang pwesto niya at nasilawan siya.

Biglang may nag buzz. His doorbell.

He sighs.

Who would visit him for his birthday? His mom and sister are in the U.S. now. Soonyoung at Junhui, busy. His frat brods? Not a chance. Shopee delivery? The fuck, hindi siya bumibili don. Nahahawa na siya kay Soonyoung and his _salamat shopee_ memes, he shakes his head.

Tumayo siya carefully, pinabayaan ang mga libro at papel sa sahig where they are dahil naka in order siya base on how Wonwoo will make his move in the arraignment and tip toes around hanggang nakatapak na siya nang maayos, padding through the back of his couch to the door of his penthouse.

Nakapambahay lang siya, his usual soft pajama pants na hanggang ankles at malaking plain t-shirt while his hair is tousled messily. Hindi pa siya naliiligo kasi hindi niya namalayan sampung oras na siya nagtratrabaho.

Humikab si Wonwoo when he unlockes the keypad to his digital lock coded door at nang buksan niya ang pinto, agad agad niyang tinikom ang bibig niya, and with wide eyes, he never expected a visit from—

“Attorney Hong?”

“I’m sorry for barging on your birthday,” paumanhin ni Joshua and he has an apologetic smile in his face. Inilapag niya iyong dala dala niyang box, _cake?_ Wonwoo eyes it, at umupo nang malumanay sa couch.

Nakatayo si Wonwoo backfacing his window at nakahalukipkip looking at Joshua with a serious expression. Akala niya a brod won’t even go dare near him on his birthday but his birthday month has been full of surprises, ‘no?

“It’s fine,” pero sabi parin ni Wonwoo. It’s not like hindi naman niya gusto si Joshua. If anything, Joshua was one of the kinder brods back then. Palagi niyang tinutulungan si Wonwoo sa logistics dati.

“What are you doing here, attorney?” He asks.

“Happy birthday?” Joshua offers a kind smile, motioning sa box na dala niya. Mukhang cake nga. “It’s from—”

Umiling si Wonwoo. “Kung galing kay attorney Yoon, wag na.” May simangot siya. Permanente na ata iyon pag binabanggit si Jeonghan.

Though, ito na naman siya na skeptical why would it be from the three of them? Alam ni Wonwoo the three have been inseparable ever since and hindi rin naman talaga plano ni attorney Hong sumali noong frat noon if it weren’t for Jeonghan, but…

Medyo nainis si Wonwoo sa pag ngiti na naman ni attorney Hong. It’s like Joshua knows something he doesn’t and it’s consoling. Why was he here?

“Why are you here?” ulit ni Wonwoo and he has no worry over anymore sa formalities. Joshua has never been for hierarchy at iyon palagi ang issue ng mga brod sa kanya noon.

“I haven’t seen you for so long. You were always my favorite, you know?” Joshua says, crossing his legs and leaning back with crossed arms as well. Joshua went abroad back to the states sa pamilya niya since he was a dual citizen. He was both a practicing lawyer in California and here sa Pilipinas.

Just like what he was supposed to do kung hindi lang dahil kay Mingyu.

Minata niya rin ang mga cases sa sahig at ngumiti, with a look on his face as if he’s remembering a fond memory. “You still organize your readings the way you always used to.”

“I never changed,” Wonwoo snaps.

“You’re more hotheaded,” Joshua points out, iyong paa niya kuyakoy nang kuyakoy.

“It’s what grief does to you,” Wonwoo says, immediately pursing his lips.

Katulad ng dati, Wonwoo used to vent everything out to Joshua and the latter always helped him understand. He was one of the seniors Wonwoo had a close bond with. They used to be close but years have passed.

“Grief for your lost love? Ah, hindi mo parin kaya magtago sakin ng mga bagay,” Joshua laughed all knowingly, and finally Wonwoo lets his guard down, his hands falling into his sides. He only was guarded nung una because they haven’t seen each other for so long.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Wonwoo mumbles, making his way sa couch, not minding kung may matapakan siya since he’s barefooted at umupo sa tabi ni Joshua who faces him. Sumandal si Wonwoo at nakatingin lang sa ceiling while Joshua folds his elbows and rests them on the sandalan.

“I heard Kim and you went for dinner? I didn’t wanna believe it,” Joshua says at agad na humuni si Wonwoo dahil ayaw niya nang pag usapan iyong gagong ‘yon.

Kwinento ni Wonwoo iyong suit fiasco kaya sila nagkadinner. Tumawa kaagad si Joshua, “Seriously? Dahil dun nagkasakitan kayo?”

“If anything, ako ata ang mas nakasakit,” Wonwoo admits but he could only do that to Joshua. Sometimes an old friend is the nicest comfort you could cling to at the moment when the present is tough.

“Ano sabi mo?” Hindi na tumatawa si Joshua at tinanong niya ito nang seryoso.

“Sabi ko hindi siya naging parte nang mga pangarap ko at ngayong nakamit ko na pagiging abogado ko. That I never needed him. Things like that. I kinda feel bad now.”

Kahit ang gago lang ni Mingyu nung dinner but like he said, it has been years. Malay ba ni Wonwoo ano nangyari kay Mingyu sa mga panahon na iyon.

Walang imik si Joshua and Wonwoo just stares at his ceiling, unblinking. Kung aalalahanin niya, masyado nga siyang dinala ng bugso ng damdamin sa pagkagalit niya but he still won’t take them back. What’s done is done. It was valid.

“So, gumaan ba pakiramdam mo… nung sinabi mo ‘yon sa kanya, or what?” Joshua asks him and napaisip si Wonwoo. Kung hindi lang seryoso ‘tong usapan nila, Wonwoo would’ve teased Joshua again na he sounds like his therapist.

Did he?

“You didn’t,” Joshua answers for him parang siya iyong may alam ng naramdaman ni Wonwoo but he won’t deny.

It didn’t.

“Then what does that mean?” napatanong siya.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Joshua mumbles beside him and naramdaman ni Wonwoo na may tinanggal sa tshirt niya. Sinulid. “But closure is your best friend for these kinds of situation. It’s always closure. It’s _why_ it is called closure—to finally understand your pain and properly close that wound so it won’t leave an ugly scar.”

Wonwoo swallows the thick lump on his throat, trinatry niyang ilunok lahat ng sinabi ni Joshua. Alam naman niya iyon in the back of his head. He shakes his head na nakasandal. “It’s just that I’ve been dealing with it for years alone.”

Mahirap din ipasok si Mingyu ulit sa buhay niya kung magkaayos man. Iniwan na siya ng isang beses, hindi niya na kaya mangyari iyon ulit. Kagaya ng sabi niya kay Junhui, natatakot siya baka maulit ang lahat. Hindi pa naman naniniwala si Wonwoo that history repeating itself is a myth.

Joshua suddenly knocks on his temple gently with his knuckle, “pag isipan mo.”

“Thanks, attorney Hong,” Wonwoo breathes out, halos mangiyak-ngiyak na naman siya and nahalata ni Joshua kaya tumawa nalang siya nang mahinhin.

“You really can’t handle your emotions well that sure never changed.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo croaks at magaspang na ang pagkasalita niya. “You should also probably know na pupunta ako sa engagement party ni Mingyu at Minghao.”

Nang sinabi ni Wonwoo iyon, biglang napaayos ng upo si Joshua kaya napatingin si Wonwoo sa kanya. He sees Joshua pale than he already was and he doesn’t know why. Napakunot tuloy ang noo niya.

“Para kang nakakita ng multo. Hear, rather,” Wonwoo mumbles dahil si Mingyu na naman ang naisip niya. A ghost from the past na bumalik at nabuhay, he snorts. Concerned na tumingin ulit siya kay Joshua. “Huy, attorney. Okay ka lang ba?”

“ _Engagement party_?” Joshua stutters and hindi talaga naiintindihan ni Wonwoo bakit namutla siya when he mentioned it.

“Uhm, thanks for the concern but I’m not that bothered by it anymore if that’s what you’re worried about,” Wonwoo admits dahil akala niya natakot si Joshua na baka Wonwoo would die over it or something. Hindi naman siya ganun ka OA.

“They’re not supposed to get married, that’s not part of the plan,” Joshua breathed out, seemingly overwhelmed sa sinabi ni Wonwoo ikakasal si Mingyu at Minghao sa kanya.

Wonwoo froze, hindi alam ano ibig sabihin nun.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Wonwoo demanded.

Joshua shakes his head, nagmamadaling tumayo. Napatayo rin si Wonwoo dahil litong lito siya sa biglang pagiging taranta ni Joshua and it scared him. His words were not adding up and Wonwoo is a goddamn lawyer. Alam niyang when things don’t align.

“Happy birthday, Uno. I have to go.”

Before Joshua could leave, malakas pagkasampal ng kamay ni Wonwoo sa paghawak sa braso ni Joshua. “You’re not leaving unless you tell me what’s going on.”

Matalas ang mga salita ni Wonwoo na hindi pinayagan si Joshua makatakas.

Pinaupo ni Wonwoo si Joshua sa counter island niya at sa harap ni Joshua, inilipag ni Wonwoo ang kulay brown na envelope na nilagay niya pa sa isang plastic envelope para hindi malukot at maayos itong nakasara.

Nagslide ito papunta sa harap ni Joshua nang ihulog ni Wonwoo sa counter.

Humalukipkip si Wonwoo at katulad ng kanina pero ngayon seryoso na niyang hinuhusgahan si Joshua dahil sa mga lumabas sa bibig nito kanina.

There are secrets being kept and Wonwoo doesn’t like it. He’s a lawyer. It’s his job to get justice and this is him, getting justice for himself, for his feelings. Siguro may pinanghahawakan siya dito and deep down, maybe he’s also hoping for direct answers that could compensate for his pain since he knows hindi pa siya handa kitain ulit si Mingyu.

“What’s this?” pagtanong ni Joshua and nag buntong hininga siya nung hinawakan niya ang mga gilid ng envelope para itaas nang onti sa sariling harapan.

“Magpasalamat kayo na hindi ko pa ‘yan binubuksan,” sabi ni Wonwoo, nakakunot ang noo na tinitingnan ang hawak hawak ni Joshua.

Nawala iyan sa isip niya hanggang sa nung pinigilan niya si Jisoo kanina at sinabing tungkol kay Mingyu ang sasabihin niya and remembered the information na pinahanap ni Soonyoung from a PI.

“Tell me first what is this.” Tinitingnan din ito ni Joshua nang may kunot sa noo at ibinaling ulit kay Wonwoo ang tingin, “This looks new. What’s inside this?”

“Information,” Wonwoo said. His voice is sturdy pero ramdam niya pa rin ang kaba sa dibdib.

Hindi niya alam ano ieexpect sa mga malalaman niya. All this time, he turned a blind eye only about the information na nasa kamay niya na pero mukhang at any point bubuksan niya ito.

Tama nga hula niya noon.

It was only a matter of time—when things started revealing itself and they didn't make sense.

He watches Joshua become nervous ulit sa harap niya at lumunok.

“About?”

“About Mingyu.”

“About Kim?” Joshua repeats, maalog ang boses niya. “PI?” He guesses dahil as a lawyer, these tactics were all too familiar and when Wonwoo doesn’t answer, he gets the silence as a yes. Mas lalo lang ata siya pumutla.

“Who did this? You?” Joshua shakily asks.

“No,” iling ni Wonwoo. He’s not going to name drop to play safe. Also for Soonyoung’s sake.

“Let me guess,” lumunok ulit si Joshua at tiningnan ng mainam si Wonwoo, “Soonyoung?”

Well, he should’ve known that quickly. Frat connections really ran deep. So it doesn’t surprise Wonwoo nang mahulaan agad ni Joshua. He nods after a moment, making Joshua sigh.

“I should’ve known there were going to be loopholes,” Joshua said. Pinitik pitik niya iyong folder habang tinitingnan ito in deep thought. “He’s the only possible person who could access this quickly. I should’ve known but the two were adam—”

“Ito na naman tayo sa pagkacryptic mo.” Wonwoo is exasperated and Joshua notices it so he smiles apologetic again. “Stop stalling,” he grits. Frankly, naiinis na rin siya sa ngiti ni Joshua.

“I’m sorry… it’s just… I want to save you from more heartache while you’re still hurting like this. We planned to tell you pag nagkaayos na kayo ni Kim—“

“You’re so cliche and a hypocrite with that closure shit!” Wonwoo laughs, hindi tinapos si Joshua ulit magsalita and he’s all sarcastic.

Dapat magsasalita si Joshua ulit but pinangunahan ni Wonwoo dahil pinangunahan din siya na naman ng galit.

“Kailan pa ‘yon? _When_? Pag okay na kami? Eh paano pala kung hindi ko pala talaga siya kayang patawarin because I’m not brave enough to forgive?” tanong ni Wonwoo dahil hindi niya na alam ano mararamdaman niya.

_Joshua could see Wonwoo_ _’_ _s pain through his eyes and he could see how Wonwoo was trying to hold himself up. The older stares at Wonwoo like a China doll na mabagal na nahuhulog sa sahig, waiting for his doom, where he is about to break_.

“Then I’d wallow all my life in pain because on top of never forgetting the pain, I never will be at peace with it so the scar that it left me would run deeper? How will I close my wound properly this time, huh?! _Tell me_!”

_Napatayo si Joshua ng wala sa oras because the china doll he_ _’_ _s been observing slowly fall, finally reaches the floor, and all he could do even when he_ _’_ _s reaching out is to watch it shatter to pieces he knows there_ _’_ _s no glue to fix how the way it perfectly was before_.

[2ND YEAR, 2012]

“You should’ve told me so I could’ve brought you something else,” sabi ni Mingyu nang nilalagyan niya ng ointment iyong mga pasa ni Wonwoo sa leeg. “People might think ako pumapak ng leeg mo.”

Nakasimangot si Mingyu when he said that. Wonwoo rolls his eyes at pinitik tenga ni Mingyu. _Aray_ , Mingyu mumbles habang sabi ni Wonwoo, “As if I’d let you near my neck anywhere.”

“Wanna bet on that?” Nakataas na kilay ni Mingyu nang nagkatinginan sila at tinigil ni Mingyu ang pagdadampi ng cooling gel sa leeg niya. Malapit din mukha niya but Wonwoo doesn’t have the urge to push it way. Blame it on his laziness. _Sure_ , imagine the author of his life as an hypothetical fanfic snorting.

“Not gonna take any chances,” sabi niya dahil knowing Mingyu baka may mangyari lang na hindi niya magugustuhan. Kaya lang naman siya nilalagyan ng gamot because when they had dinner, Mingyu only brought home beer.

That he’s allergic to.

Pero ininom niya parin dahil wala lang siya pake for himself, like those who knew who were lactose intolerant but still consume dairy, sa pagod niya after suffering from a surprise long quiz sa Tax kanina. Yeah, he _really_ needed it. Tax? Mas gugustuhin niya na lang mamatay.

Mingyu chuckles, glancing at Wonwoo’s eyes kaya nagtinginan na naman sila at hindi naiwasan alisin ni Wonwoo muna ang tingin niya dahil naawawkwardan siya, even if saglit lang. Ayaw niya talaga nagtitinginan sila.

“Takot ka?” Mingyu teases, hindi alam ni Wonwoo bakit, o saan niya nakuha iyon.

“Huh? Bakit ako matatakot?” He defensively asks. Ayun na naman iyong kakaiba niyang nararamdaman sa dibdib. His heart is beating abnormally.

Mas inilapit pa ni Mingyu mukha niya, his eyes playfully narrowing, at may ngiti din siyang pilyo.

Wonwoo’s breath hitch, the abnormal beats of his heart felt like it stopped altogether, and it took him a very few seconds to process what Mingyu said at makaisip ng retort.

Then his heart started beating so fast again, _hindi niya alam kung bakit!_ , at pinitik na naman tenga ni Mingyu in reflex.

Napahawak na naman si Mingyu sa tenga at lumayo.

“Ano bang kasalanan ng tenga ko sayo? It’s too abused by you already,” Mingyu mumbles and nakiliti na naman si Wonwoo dahil fixated na naman siya sa feeling ng mga daliri ni Mingyu nakadampa sa leeg niya.

Wonwoo is pursing his lips hard dahil ayaw niyang gumalaw nang kakaiba but he can’t help but twitch and squirm a little and tiningnan siya ni Mingyu in question. “What’s happening to you?”

Bakit siya lang iyong mukhang apektado?! At feeling niya siya rin iyong tanga dahil bakit siya iyong nagbibigay ng malisya sa sarili. Nakikiliti lang siya. That’s probably it.

“Nothing,” sabi niya through gritted teeth dahil Mingyu’s fingers tickle, they massage his neck softly, and he wants them to stop— _but keep going_. He closes his eyes at triny pang lumayo para humiga pero nakasandal na nga pala talaga siya sa headboard niya so he’s cornered.

Shit, Wonwoo tries his best hindi gumalaw and with a stiff body, he tries to inhale and exhale bated breaths para tigilan ang sarili from squirming too much. Biglang iyong mga daliri ni Mingyu napunta between the expanse sa likod ng tenga niya sa may anit.

Wonwoo moans in the sudden jolt of pleasure when Mingyu massages that part with his fingers at parehas sila nanigas comically.

_For Seba, our country and God!_ gusto ni Wonwoo ibalot ang sarili sa kumot at naramdaman niyang uminit ang mukha niya sa kahihiyan kaya sinampal niya mga daliri ni Mingyu away from him.

“Okay, that’s enough.” Wonwoo was frowning but he’s so fucking embarassed! Wala siyang kahit anong encounter na ganito before.

Hindi niya alam paano umakto kaya ginawa niya literally ang una niyang naisip at hinablot iyong thick comforters ng kama niya, sliding down to cover himself.

He did it so fast at nakakulob na siya sa loob ng comforters niya when it’s hot and dahil iritahin pa skin niya, mahapdi sa leeg so he squints his eyes inside the darkness and heat.

He felt Mingyu above him starting to shake and hindi niya alam bakit, he had the urge to look, but before he knew it, he could hear Mingyu heartily laugh.

It’s Mingyu’s laugh that Wonwoo never heard of. Even if his heart was beating erratically dahil sa kahihiyan, this time, it’s for another reason. It’s that same kind of beat when Mingyu was always close to him.

Dati, puro kalokohan lang tawa ni Mingyu sa pandinig niya.

Bakit ngayon iniisip na ni Wonwoo that maybe this laugh of his was now pure adoration.

Patuloy siya nagtago sa loob and Mingyu won’t stop laughing. Kulob iyong tawa niya dahil nasa loob siya ng kumot and he realizes now that Mingyu moved para tanggalin iyong taklob.

“No!” Wonwoo’s voice is muffled sa ilalim ng kumot.

“Hahahahahaha!” Mingyu was still laughing, pero nagdie down nang onti, “Bakit ka nagtatago diyan?” Tuwang tuwa talaga si gago and mas nakakahiya para kay Wonwoo.

“Mind your own business!” Wonwoo screams sa loob ng kumot na naman.

“You are my business,” Mingyu laughs. “And it’s normal to moan when you’re in pleasure because of the ointment. Why are you so damn conservative?”

_Pero bakit ikaw din nanigas_?!

Nalaglag panga ni Wonwoo doon dahil might as well tinawag siya ni Mingyu na santo, pure, innocent and clean virgin Mary. _Kahit oo_. And as if he didn’t pray for their patron kanina. Wonwoo scowls but tightens iyong pagkapulupot niya sa kumot.

Wonwoo suddenly groans in pain when it shoots up his back dahil oo nga pala, pati likod niya may mga rashes and hindi niya lang naramdaman because maybe of the sudden adrenaline ng embarassment niya.

Mga ilang segundo when Mingyu slowly stops laughing.

“Hey, Wonwoo,” Mingyu sighs now, obvious na worried. “Alam kong meron din likod mo. Kitang kita na it continues from your neck to your back.”

“No, wala, ah,” dapat kunwaring wala but hindi rin naitago ni Wonwoo dahil humapdi na naman and Wonwoo has quite low tolerance for pain kaya napasigaw siya ng onti.

“Wala daw,” he hears Mingyu’s voice muffled mockingly. “Dali na.”

“No,” sabi ni Wonwoo. Without realizing it, he’s… sulking.

“You sound like a baby not wanting to take a bath,” Mingyu chuckles. “You want to be treated like a baby? _Fine_.” Huh.

Bago pa man maisip ni Wonwoo ano ibig sabihin ni Mingyu noon ay naramdaman niyang umangat si Mingyu to stand up dahil wala nang mabigat na pressure sa may tabi ng legs niya.

Wonwoo focuses on his breathing dahil ang init init na talaga under his thick as hell comforters at iyong sakit ng likod niya, mas nag iintensify, but _he is_ stubborn so he let himself be in pain.

What was seconds lang na parang mga ilang oras na dahil nagtitiis talaga si Wonwoo at masakit talaga iyong rashes, natutuluan na sila ng pawis, Wonwoo let his guard down and that exact moment, nawala iyong taklob dahil hinila ni Mingyu.

“Hoy!” sigaw ni Wonwoo.

Kagat agad sa balat ang malamig na ere dahil sa aircon sa kwarto niya at nakahinga na siya nang mabuti dahil any moment, parang mawawala na siya ng hininga doon. He inhales and winces when the pain comes back.

Iyong pagtanggal ng comforter ni Mingyu, tinanggal niya lang naman hanggang bewang ni Wonwoo. Half nakahiga fully si Wonwoo and dahil hindi niya na rin talaga kaya iyong sakit, tumagilid siya, groaning.

“Now the baby is in so much pain,” Mingyu mumbles, clicking his tongue. Lumingon si Wonwoo, craning up his neck sa kanya and glared.

“How did you know when was the right time to take it off?” he asked.

May ngisi si Mingyu at tinanguan iyong direksyon ng paa niya. “It was up the whole time. Nung hindi na mahigpit kapit mo, bumaba siya.”

As if Wonwoo isn’t embarass enough, natanto niya na medyo nakalabas pala paa niya at nakaumbok. Wonwoo scoffs with a sarcastic smile pabalik. Kung ano ano talaga tactics ni Mingyu.

He just let his head fall back and rest patagilid, groaning ulit.

“Now treat the baby in pain,” sinabi niya with no reservations at tinakpan mukha gamit ang forearm to cover iyong hiya niya.

“Okay, _baby_ ,” Mingyu says with amusement, walang hiya na naman! Binigyan siya ni Wonwoo ng fuck you sign sa daliri bago tinakpan ulit ang mukha gamit ang arm niya because for the life of Wonwoo, _gusto niya ngumiti_.

Mingyu hums, kinuha ulit iyong cooling gel na tube pinatong niya sa may bedside drawer na katabi lang ng kama ni Wonwoo. “How should I do it?”

“I don’t know, _I can_ _’_ _t think_ ,” giit ni Wonwoo dahil masakit na talaga.

“Right, right.” Mingyu nods.

Nakapikit si Wonwoo, trying to breathe in and out forcefully at kinakalimutan iyong hapdi, when he felt the back of him go down from the weight of Mingyu. At naramdaman din niyang inangat ni Mingyu ang maluwag na sando niya from the back.

He makes no sound or kahit anong angal when Mingyu’s hand slithers inside his sando palayo, sa harap niya umipit palikod because of it, and ghostingly slithers his arm up until his shoulder blades.

Habang ginawa niya iyon, Wonwoo also felt pressure sa harap ng tiyan niya dahil sinandal ni Mingyu ang kamay niya to support himelf.

Kahit nakapikit siya, Wonwoo knows he’s caged between Mingyu’s body and he’s now even lowered nearer since inakyat niya ang kanyang kamay to his shoulder.

Wonwoo suddenly felt the coldness damp his skin and he sighs in pleasure, pero pinigilan niya ulit sarili niya na gumawa ng kahit anong ingay, but that’s difficult when kahit magaspang ang kamay ni Mingyu, it felt _gentle_ massaging his back softly.

Tahimik na napahangos si Wonwoo when Mingyu continues his motions sa likod niya and he wants to cry in relief. Matagal na rin siyang hindi nagkakaallergic reactions and this massage is amazing.

Mingyu’s hands were amazing but wala siyang aaminin.

Also kahit umiinom naman siya, iyong beer na ininom niya was a cheap brand na hindi talaga pwede sa kanya because it contained ingredients beer doesn’t usually have but that did pero iyon lang ang nauwi ni Mingyu and he needed a drink.

“I’m sorry,” biglang nagsalita si Mingyu.

He grunts after dahil medyo hirap din siya na dahan dahan ihaplos likod ni Wonwoo with the ointment at magulo din iyong isang kamay niya mabagal na dumadampi nang magalaw sa harap ni Wonwoo to balance himself.

“It’s fine,” Wonwoo sighs, and napadilat siya nang maramdaman niyang si Mingyu umakyat ulit.

Pero sumunod na rin ang katawan ni Mingyu at abot na ang kanyang mga daliri sa spot kanina sa leeg ni Wonwoo and Mingyu was lowered down, sticking his body to Wonwoo’s side, pressed up against him.

Medyo awkward na nakatakip parin forearm ni Wonwoo but he just shuts his eyes again nung hinagod nang onti ni Mingyu ulit iyong likuran ng tenga niya pababa ulit sa likod niya where it felt good. He bites his lip from stopping the moan wanting to escape.

Hindi tuloy alam ni Wonwoo kung nahihirapan siya dahil sa mga rashes niya or dahil sa taong almost on top of him, intimately shadowing his smaller body as a whole.

Hindi na alert si Wonwoo and he’s so damn relaxed. The hands on his back had some sort of magic, ramdam niyang lumulutang siya.

Mingyu’s lips suddenly were on the back of Wonwoo’s nape and he daringly blew a breeze.

Napaungol si Wonwoo. “Fuck.”

“Go on, don’t be shy,” Mingyu whispers. “ _Open minded naman ako eh_.”

“Tarantado,” Wonwoo groans quietly, biting his lip again dahil there’s another moan that wanted to leave the back of his throat dahil nagseset na iyong gel and this was always the best part for him.

Then the massage— _Mingyu hit a knot_.

Wonwoo moans again, _hindi tama_ _‘_ _to_ , nasa isip niya amidst his headspace but he lets loose from those thoughts because everything _feels_ right.

Mingyu chuckles deeply. “Relax.”

Wonwoo could feel his face heat up, especially his neck, at kumakabog na naman dibdib niya, not sure what may happen. Massage lang naman. Ginagamot lang naman siya. Sadyang ganito lang si Mingyu.

Bakit niya ba binibigyan ng malisya? It was normal to moan when in relief… right?

Hindi alam ni Wonwoo how Mingyu did it, how he was able to find every spot where it burned because of his allergies and how he felt relief kahit mainit ang pagkadikit ng katawan nila sa isa’t isa.

_Ang torture_.

Maya maya tapos na si Mingyu at tumigil na kamay niya when Wonwoo was about to fall asleep. May tama rin iyong beer, eh. Inalis na ni Mingyu kamay niya sa likod ni Wonwoo slowly and that’s when Wonwoo moved a little dahil nabother siya sa loss in contact.

When Mingyu successfully removed his hand under his shirt, inayos niya pagkabalik ng damit ni Wonwoo and Mingyu held his body para makahiga ng maayos.

Dahan dahang tinanggal ni Wonwoo braso niya sa mukha niya because moving hurt a little bit at pagkatingin niya kay Mingyu, he was putting back the ointment sa drawer. Nilingon siya ni Mingyu and winked nonchalantly.

“Tulog ka na,” sabi ni Mingyu.

Pumikit si Wonwoo ulit ng saglit at bumuntong hininga. Tinapik niya gilid niya.

Ayaw niya tingnan si Mingyu directly. Baka magback out lang siya sa desisyon niya.

He hears Mingyu laugh, “What?”

Wonwoo breathed softly, okay na ulit pakiramdam niya and he waits for Mingyu to realize what he’s asking of him. Sana naman maintindihan niya para hindi siya mapahiya.

“Want me to sleep with you?” Mingyu got the message and sighs. Dumilat ulit si Wonwoo, feeling brave, and stared at Mingyu who had a soft smirk. It’s not the smirk that’s teasing, nor fun, nor cold.

“I sleep shirtless, though.” Mingyu raises a brow, challenging Wonwoo kung ibabalik niya ba sasabihin niya pero inaantok na si Wonwoo so, at this moment, he doesn’t care. After asking for a request like that, parang wala na siyang hiya.

“Dali na,” Wonwoo groans, his voice deeper than usual.

“Hayok na hayok ka ah,” Mingyu mumbled and Wonwoo wanted to get up and punch him like he used to always want to do before and he hisses through his teeth, staring at Mingyu para murahin siya. Napatigil siya.

Mingyu was already removing his shirt and Wonwoo swallows when Mingyu’s skin slowly revealed itself when he lifted the back of his shirt. Napansin ni Wonwoo iyong malaking scar of burn marks that covered the whole of Mingyu’s back to side.

Napaawang labi niya, and suddenly, hindi na siya inaantok.

Mingyu throws his shirt off in the floor at nung harapin niya ulit si Wonwoo, Mingyu pauses nang magkatugma sila ni Wonwoo sa mata. Wonwoo doesn’t know how to react when all he could see is the scars.

Not because it was ugly, beautiful, or any beautification. He’s just… shocked. Out of all the people, hindi niya ineexpect na may ganitong mga peklat sa makinis na balat ni Mingyu.

Takot siya magtanong. Iyong inisipan niya noong inuwian siya ni Mingyu ng alimango to get more information more about him dahil feeling niya siya lang nagbibigay palagi doesn’t feel so appealing anymore. Siguro may mga sapat ka lang malaman tungkol sa isang tao.

It was just weeks when he realized things but Wonwoo never wanted to do anything else but to hug Mingyu and trace the marks that made him the Mingyu he knew from the surface.

Tumayo nang onti si Mingyu sa inuupuan niya at lumapit making Wonwoo snap out of his trance at humiga ulit nang maayos slowly.

Malamig sa kwarto but all Wonwoo felt is ang pagkainit hindi dahil sa katawan niya dahil masyadong seryoso ang tingin ni Mingyu sa kanya nang palapit siya para tabihan ito.

Wonwoo looks away and ibinaling sa may kurtina ng sliding door niyang papuntang balcony.

He feels Mingyu slowly enclose his space and tumabi sa kanya with his heat but he doesn’t dare look anywhere else.

“You wanna know how I got these?”

Huminga lang si Wonwoo, kunwaring natutulog na ulit.

“Our house burned down. Hindi ko nga alam paano iyon nangyari, it just suddenly happened. I tried saving my brother but…”

Tumigil ang paghinga ni Wonwoo.

Mingyu shrugged and Wonwoo felt it dahil halos ang balikat ni Mingyu touched his back. “It’s going to be his birthday soon. Can you accompany me to his grave? Magugustuhan ka nun siguro. I remember when we were children he used to always fight with me. Like you.”

Iyong pagbuzz lang ng AC ang ingay.

Hindi alam ni Wonwoo ang isasagot.

“Ah, you’re probably sleeping already, _love_. Forget I said anything,” bulong ni Mingyu. “Sleep tight.”

Hindi maalis sa isip ni Wonwoo iyong sinabi ni Mingyu nung nakaraang gabi. Pagkagising niya wala na si Mingyu at ang iniwan lang nito ay papel na may sulat katabi ng mga ointments niya.

Nasa likod ng cellphone ni Wonwoo ngayon iyong papel.

_I_ _’_ _m sorry if I left without waking you up._

_See you when I see you, rival. Study well._

_I left new digests on the table for you, don_ _’_ _t forget._

He scoffs at the term na tinawag sa kanya ni Mingyu because ever since tumuntong na sila ng second year in law school, their relationship escalated into something Wonwoo can’t pinpoint kung ano ba talaga sila.

Dahil sa ginawa nilang contract, boundaries were crossed and ngayon, Wonwoo is confused where they stand.

Urong sulong eh.

But that’s the whole point of the contract they made. Nagtutulungan lang din sila makaraos ng law school with also letting them be. But Wonwoo feels like rivalling Mingyu in a top spot wasn’t what he really wanted anymore.

Ibig sabihin niya na, gusto niya parin makakuha ng uno palagi, but for himself na lang ngayon. Somewhere nung break parang natanto niya na talaga hindi siya magiging kasing galing ni Mingyu but that doesn’t mean he’s backing out.

Or ewan. Hindi sure ni Wonwoo.

_Dahil baka may nahahalong feelings na,_ Soonyoung said. _Kaya with reservations ka na ngayon_ , gatong ni Junhui.

Wonwoo doesn’t like to think about it nung una. Sa tingin ba nila hindi niya naisip iyon? Sinabi ito sa kanya nung dalawa noon after frat meeting and after Jeonghan dumping a heap ton of shit on him na asikasuhin.

Since mamaya pa in an hour next class niya for Labor, nasa cafeteria siya and as usual, maraming mga kafrat niya ang nandoon din pero hindi naman sila nagkikibuan. Pake niya sa kanila. Buti nalang wala iyong mga third and fourth years.

“What are you doing here alone?”

“Sir,” tayo ni Wonwoo at bati nang dumating si Jeonghan.

“What are you doing here alone?” Jeonghan asks again with a frown at pinaupo si Wonwoo while sitting in front of him. Kala mo welcomed.

“I’m waiting for my next class, sir,” Wonwoo stiffly says habang umupo.

“I see, I see.” Nakangiti si Jeonghan pero nakakatakot iyong ngiti niya. Parang pag may sinabi kang isang hindi maganda, it will immediately become sinister. “Tapos mo na ba pinapagawa ko?”

Hindi. Hindi pa. Nakaramdam ng kaba si Wonwoo dahil nawala sa isip niya kagabi. Ginagawa niya na nung umiinom siya pero nagkaallergic reaction nga siya so hindi niya natapos.

Nawala iyong ngiti ni Jeonghan and he looks pissed. Wonwoo’s breathe quickened dahil ayaw niya na naman mangyari ang nangyari nung nakaraang buwan dahil nalate siya sa frat meeting.

“What were you doing?” Jeonghan asked, his face hard with contempt.

“I.. I was..” Ayaw niya ilaglag si Mingyu. Labas na siya sa frat work niya pero iyon ang totoo.

“Were you with Mingyu again?” The older asked and mas hindi lang siya mukhang natutuwa.

Wonwoo should’ve known Jeonghan would still know. _Putangina_ , palabas na sa dila niya iyong mura but Wonwoo held himself.

Tumaas mga kilay ni Jeonghan at napatingin sa harap ni Wonwoo kung saan nakabalandra lang iyong note ni Mingyu. He smiles, bitterly. “You swore an oath, Wonwoo. You should always put the frat first before anything else.”

Wonwoo swallows, nodding. _Alam ko_ _‘_ _yon, tangina naman_.

“Backdoor. Now. Pag late ka sa labor, sabihin mo lang kay Attorney I needed you for assistance.” That’s all Jeonghan says bago siya tumayo at madaling umalis.

Wonwoo crumples Mingyu’s note at itinapon sa may basurahan nang sumunod siya kay Jeonghan pero iniisip niya rin paano niya ieexplain kay Mingyu ang mga bagong sugat sa mukha niya.

Last month the door excuse worked but now, he doesn’t know how he would explain to Mingyu. Madali lang iyong mga nasa first year siya because he barely had Mingyu in his life.

Now it’s different at naiintindihan niya na.

Malakas ang pagkasampal ng brod niya sa kanya na iyon lang ang nag echo sa may backdoor ng fraternity room. Wonwoo’s head whipped to the side and he could already feel the blood rushing to his cheeks and blood dripping to his lips. Pag si Jeonghan nagbibigay ng punishments sa kanila, he always used his backhand.

Nakaluhod siya sa harap ni Jeonghan with his hands in the back at mahapdi na tuhod niya.

Damn it. His face felt numb.

Jeonghan was doing a double on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sa boses ni mama K, handa na ba kayo sa susunod na chapter lmao i felt kinda shitty writing this.


	5. pinagdarasal ko sa aking puso

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in joshua's lens, the chapter of revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok medj funny 'yung summary kasi lakas maka bible lol tapos may timeskip ulit dahil time is also healing. pabayaan natin si wonwoo magheal on his own.
> 
> **mentions of death, arson, murder.**

[PRESENT TIME]

“What happened to him?” With his ears ringing and heavy breathing, narinig ni Wonwoo si Junhui dumating at ito agad ang tinanong niya kay Joshua.

Hindi pinansin ni Wonwoo nung dumating dahil wala na siyang energy gumalaw. He’s tired. Kumabaga wala nang rason para sa kanya gumalaw. He felt nothing but emptiness, but then again, if he was empty, dapat masaya siya ngayon. Wala siyang nararamdamang kahit anong bigat.

Pero mabigat because all these years he replaced the love that was given to him only to be snatched again, a painful, growing void to keep him sane from the loss.

It was the only piece of Mingyu he had left— _that love that became a void_ when he left.

His eyes were mugshot that’s for sure nang tingnan niya si Jun that squints his eyes at umiling in disappointment. Jun even hissed through his teeth.

“Wonwoo, nag usap naman na tayo, diba? Bakit ganito parin?” Jun asks in frustration, shrugging off his suit na itinapon niya lang sa likod niya pagkatanggal at sinimulang tanggalin ang mga butones ng cufflinks niya para itupi ang mga manggas niya.

Nakaupo si Wonwoo sa baba nang couch niya at wala na siyang pake kung nagulo gulo na rin iyong mga kaso niya sa sahig. When he collapsed, Joshua helped him to sit at pinabayaan niyang ilayo ang mga ito so Wonwoo could sit.

Wonwoo had his knees huddled up sa Kanyang dibdib, like he was a child crying again, at nanliliit siya. Mas nanliit lang siya when Junhui kneels to him at hinapo ang kanyang noo, then brushing his sweaty hair back.

“Jesus,” sabi ni Junhui, his voice is sad.

It brings them back to the first year of practicing nang kakakita lang nila ng mga pangalan nila sa labas ng Supreme Court, where Wonwoo also finds out that Mingyu was gone.

Wonwoo brings back his head down sa Kanyang mga tuhod at pinikit ang mga mata, revelling the feeling of Junhui’s fingers running through his hair.

Iyon lang ang kaya niya ifocus on para makaramdam. Something. Anything.

“I thought okay na tayo?” Mahinang sambit ni Junhui, tanong sa kanya at alam niyang masakit sa tenga marinig ang mga salita na ‘to galing kay Jun but he really feels nothing but that heavy void. There’s no pang. There’s nothing but that heaviness. “I thought we came to terms with it already, Uno?”

Madiin ang pagpikit ni Wonwoo, ayaw nang makarinig ng kahit ano from Junhui. He hates that word. Mas lumalim lang ang paghinga niya and napahangos siya inside of the space in between his knees.

Hindi siya sumagot at napatigil si Jun ng paghahaplos sa buhok niya.

“What are you even doing here?” Jun asks, his voice hard, at walang takot kay Joshua. “What did you do?” he accuses at gusto pagsabihan ni Wonwoo si Jun pero hindi siya makagalaw.

“Don’t blame me.” Kalmado boses ni Joshua. “Wonwoo wanted to know.”

“Pero naiintindihan mo naman na kahit gusto niyang malaman, it’s not good for him, tama?” sabi ulit ni Junhui nang pabalik, frustration laced in his voice, disliking the way how Wonwoo is acting right now.

“I wanted to know, I don’t want to live in an ideal Utopia anymore when things are not fine,” muffled voice ni Wonwoo nang sinabi niya, “I deserve to know.”

“You don’t want to live in ignorance anymore?” Jun asks, bewildered. “I told you that you have so much already. Why not choose to be content with that? Para ‘di ka na nasasaktan ng ganito. Continue living in ignorance, _please_ ,” makaawa niya.

Ignorance is bliss, sabi nila, but living in ignorance for so long is what breaks you when the reality crashes into you like a full force.

Inangat ni Wonwoo ang ulo niyang nakayuko at tiningnan si Junhui with a sharp glare.

“You don’t understand. I’ve never been content. I don’t want to choose to be happy when I have unresolved issues. What I’m going through can’t solve with the material things I have unlike what you do.”

Wonwoo sniffs. Biglang nawalan ng ekspresyon si Jun.

“You’re lonely Jun, so you fill that void with material things. Ako? I don’t want to fill that with material things. I want to fill that with answers why he left me and Joshua is about to give me that.”

Biglang sinok ni Wonwoo at tumayo, Jun watching him like a hawk kahit wala siyang imik.

Tiningnan ni Wonwoo si Joshua na nasa may pintuan ng kwarto niya, nakasandal at nakahalukipkip, tinitingnan din siya ng seryoso. “Tell me. This is the only birthday gift I want.”

Joshua glanced kay Junhui kaya napatingin din si Wonwoo. Jun was still kneeling with a distant look on his face. Napapikit si Wonwoo. He kind of went too far with that but kailangan din ni Jun marealize na hindi siya sasaya ng tunay if he will live in ignorance for too long. They were living in an ideal utopia. Not the genuine happiness they want and crave.

“It was Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and I’s idea to take Mingyu away.”

Wonwoo, this time, hindi niya pinabayaan ang sarili bumagsak ulit.

There must be a reason.

He’s hurt, but he’s still a lawyer. Ito na ata naging mantra niya to remind himself there are always explanations behind things even if they don’t make sense. Just like in everything they see, bilang abogado, there is always a law present. He’s still rational.

He wanted answers, hindi ba? Kung mag aamok ulit siya, hindi niya makukuha iyon.

Junhui, however, stood up and barged going to Joshua, angrily pining him against the wall bago pa man makagalaw si Wonwoo at pinabayaan lang ni Joshua. Napatingin siya sa gilid with a loud thud dahil sa impact nang nagawa ni Junhui.

“Attorney Wen,” kalmadong sabi ni Joshua kahit napangiwi siya because Jun was pressing himself against him too hard. “Let go.”

Pagod na bumuntong hininga si Wonwoo, “Jun, huwag ka nang manggulo. Keep your anger.” Kahit siya, pagod na rin magalit. He’s already broken ano pa ba makakabasag sa puso niya?

“No,” Jun snarls, like a madman into their brod’s face.

Kita ni Wonwoo ang mga ugat na pumuputok na sa galit sa kamay niyang halos sakalin na si Joshua. Halos hindi na makahinga si Joshua at sobrang galit na nakatingin si Jun sa kanya.

“Jun, let go,” diin ni Wonwoo, “Pagod na ako. _Anim na taon na nakalipas_. I want to get this over with.”

Inantay ni Wonwoo si Jun makakalma and madali naman siyang bumaklas kay Joshua who held into the door knob at huminga nang malalim kahit patago.

“For a brod you used to hook up with during law school, you didn’t give me mercy. Parang walang pinagsamahan, _babe_ ,” Joshua wheezed.

Nanlaki mata ni Wonwoo. _Ano_.

Jun only clicked his tongue, inayos ang pagkatupi ng mga manggas niya habang humakbang palayo kay Joshua. “It was a mistake.”

“ _You hooked up_?” Gulat na gulat si Wonwoo sa revelation. He never fucking expected Jun would have any expedition with anyone, most especially, with Joshua Hong.

“Why do you think I was always there pag tinutulungan ka ni Joshua?” tanong ni Jun at ang kayang gawin lang ni Wonwoo ay titigan ang likuran niya.

“Fuck,” Wonwoo curses. Wala pa siya masyadong alam pero sumasakit na ang ulo niya. So he was right. Jun _was in the closet_. Was Joshua sort of his awakening because Jun never indulged anyone in law school.

Girls flocked him but he never gave anyone a chance. Ayaw niya lang aminin pero ano mawawala sa kanya kung umamin siya?

It’s a liberal society now, their country already approved of same sex marriage with the divorce bill is slowly getting out there and kahit may homophobic issues pa rin ang Pilipinas, halos mga kakilala niyang mga abogado is part of the LGBT community but then again, everyone does it at their own time.

Kagaya ni Soonyoung, Wonwoo still doesn’t understand Jun hanggang ngayon.

“Sure it was, Jun.” Joshua scoffs at napatingin na ulit kay Wonwoo, fixing himself. “Are you ready to know more?”

Huminga nang malalim si Wonwoo, putting his thoughts at the back of his mind at tumango.

[JOSHUA HONG,

4TH YEAR, 2014]

They were going to _break_ Wonwoo but marami ang nakataya dito.

Busy na sila sa pagrereview dahil ilang mga buwan na lang it’s already the BAR but the weight of the frat’s problems are getting heavier and heavier that it’s almost burdening to them pero ito ang pinasok nila.

“You’re too worried, Joshua,” sabi ni Jeonghan sa tabi niya. “I conditioned Wonwoo to be strong. He’ll be fine.”

“Beating him up won’t solve emotional pain,” sabi ni Joshua pabalik. Hindi alam ni Joshua anong pumasok sa utak ni Jeonghan to think that being an abuser brod would help Wonwoo in anyway.

But he was crazy like that.

Joshua contested it at the very start, hanggang ngayon naman, but he couldn’t do anything to sway Jeonghan. The older was keen on giving the boy what he believed to be is tough love. It isn’t. It stupefies Joshua how hurting someone you hold dear is called love.

Alam naman ni Joshua Wonwoo meant something to Jeonghan but he doesn’t understand how his mind works. Jeonghan is a complex person. Jeonghan is one of a kind.

Joshua could also only blame the founder, that horrendous man, for still ingraining the old ways of fraternities and brotherhood. It shouldn’t be like this anymore.

“But it will toughen him up,” Jeonghan retorts and there’s a finality in his tone. Ang kaya lang magawa ni Joshua is to sigh in dismissal because Jeonghan always gets the final word. “It’s what he will need. Maybe to get him a few years by.”

Even if Seungcheol was the frat president this term, it felt like Jeonghan was, with how he could twist the eldest among them three in his palms and order everyone around with a commanding presence.

He’s even going lengths to ‘toughen up’ Wonwoo for the pain he’s about to face but at the back of Joshua’s mind, even if it will help Wonwoo get by for years, there will be a time where he will finally break.

“How many years do you think it would take us?” tanong ulit ni Joshua as both of them stare at the openness of the dark field then looking at the older.

Jeonghan hums as the wind of the night blows, his shoulder length hair sweeping back along with the movement. Joshua is mesmerized.

“Give it four years. If our plan to take down—“ _Joshua gulps at the mention of Mingyu Kim_ _’_ _s father_. “—will work.”

Joshua takes his eyes off Jeonghan and he could only hope kaya ni Wonwoo magpatawad pagkatapos ng ilang mga taon. If not… it would be Joshua’s biggest regret to hurt Wonwoo but he would never change a thing.

If they wanted to take down that fascist man, probably still pretending to be an old karinderya seller somewhere in the outskirts of Manila to fool his hard working clueless son; when all along he’s a crime boss that made everyone’s life in this frat _he founded_ a living hell.

[PRESENT TIME]

Junhui gives Joshua a look of disdain, seemingly in disbelief.

“Mingyu’s father…” Wonwoo swallows, however, seemingly overwhelmed. He is overwhelmed, but there is a boiling anger at the bottom of his heart. _Why couldn_ _’_ _t you let him say goodbye?_ But Wonwoo presses them down.

He distracts himself from it by thinking that other things were actually at stake kahit natutulala siya. He can’t be selfish. Mingyu wasn’t.

Inisip ni Wonwoo na the murder and arson case kinda makes sense now.

Does it justify his pain of Mingyu leaving?

Their love, after all, looked like it was a sacrifice Mingyu made dahil kahit ninamnam niya ang galit dito ng ilang mga taon, he knew Mingyu would make that kind of decision. It’s who he is, who he was.

But years have passed and Wonwoo doesn’t know what kind of person Mingyu is anymore so he only slightly understands.

Their love was a collateral damage, or baka siya lang iyong naging sagabal? Bale, naging stepping stone lang siya to make his greatest love, to do what he was meant to do all this time.

“Who did Kim senior kill? What did he set on fire? Why was he hidden all this time?” Jun asks. Naglalakad na siya pabalik balik, pacing in front of Joshua.

“Their old home,” Joshua answers calmly, parang sanay na itong sagutin nang paulit paulit. “He was meant to kill Kim in that fire but his brother saved him instead. His brother was his father’s favorite so framing his wife and making Mingyu suffer in law school was his revenge. That’s why he told Seungcheol to take Mingyu so he could take over the fraternity.”

Napapikit si Wonwoo. Gusto niya masuka. Aakalain mo sanay na siya malaman ang mga bagay na ganito because he has defended criminals, got them a lesser sentence but never setting them free, pero ang pait pa rin makatikim ng ganitong realidad.

The memory is still fresh in his mind like the scars on Mingyu’s back permanently etched into his body, the night where he heard Mingyu ask of him kung pwede niya ba samahan ito pero hindi niya ito sinagot dahil akala ni Mingyu na tulog na siya.

He never heard of Mingyu spoke of it again pagkatapos noon. Who knows kung nagtagal sila he would’ve met _his brother he never knew the name of_. He would’ve heard the whole story from him.

“So when you took Mingyu,” napahinto si Jun dahil mukhang gusto niyang dahan dahanin ang topic with Wonwoo present, “Alam niya bang his father was the founder all along?”

“No. He only knew when he came with us sa Bataan.”

Binuksan agad ni Wonwoo ang mga mata niya when Joshua mentioned Bataan. Sa pagkakaalam niya, dito nangyari iyong napalanunang kaso ni Minghao noong inirepresenta niya iyong congressman that was heavily accused of many things.

“Bataan…” bulong ni Wonwoo.

“It’s where Minghao met Mingyu, tama?” dire-diretsong tinanong ni Jun.

Joshua sighs for the nth time. Naalala ni Wonwoo ang mukha niya noong sinabi niyang ikakasal si Mingyu kay Minghao. How did Joshua not know?

“I didn’t know until today dahil kakabalik ko lang galing US when I went there to practice after jailing Kim senior. Kim took a two year break and stayed there in confinement. It was Jeonghan who stayed with him mostly and Seungcheol got him to transfer here so now he’s back.”

Medyo nagmake sense rin kung bakit ganun trato ni Mingyu kay Jeonghan. He was one of the anchors Mingyu had. Nakakahinayang. Sa lahat ng tao, si Jeonghan pa.

Suddenly, iyong text ni Seungcheol that he had a gift made sense rin. They really planned this all along and Wonwoo is scared that he doesn’t have any reaction towards it.

Manhid na ata siya.

“You should be angry,” Joshua quietly mutters. “But you’re not.” Tumagilid ang ulo niya when he asks.

Jun scoffs. “Gusto niyo talaga pinapahirapan si Wonwoo? Go to fucking hell,” Jun sneered again at itinaas lang ni Wonwoo kamay niya. Jun calms down an instant at humangos lang.

“Jokes on you my parents already told me that when I came out,” Joshua sarcastically replies. Napatikom si Jun doon at walang sinabi. Ngumiti si Joshua, all knowing.

Umiling si Wonwoo.

“There’s nothing I can do anymore.”

It is what it is.

_Him and Mingyu were really doomed from the start_.

“How about Mingyu’s mother?” Biglang naisip ni Wonwoo. “She was jailed.”

“She died in jail two years ago from sickness. That’s why it was better for Kim na tumigil muna. It was _her own husband_ who framed her.” Nung ipaliwanag ni Joshua iyon, nandilim ang mukha niya. “So imagine his anger and pain all these—“

“I’m sorry but we’re talking about explanations that you owe me. I could care less what Mingyu felt,” Wonwoo found himself cutting Joshua off with a clip tone. Napahilamos din siya ng panga.

Mingyu’s mother and his pain… he could only imagine. Ngayon alam niya nang hindi lang siya iyong nagsuffer from a loss.

But this time, maybe it’s better not knowing other things. Lalo na when it comes to Mingyu. Ayaw ni Wonwoo mangialam doon. He shouldn’t care. Mas mahihirapan lang siya.

Joshua’s lips are only apart but he closes them and nods in understanding. He clears his throat.

“Right. I’m sorry. Kim lost against attorney Xu which angered Kim senior. He was also framing governor Bai, attorney Xu’s counsel but he defended him well. An opportunity presenting itself to us, honestly,” Joshua admitted.

“When Minghao presented all the circumstantial evidence that governor Bai was framed, Mingyu lost and the jury forced Mingyu to find the real culprit. It was the best time for us to expose everything but without bringing the frat down. It was possible.”

“So it was all thanks to Minghao?” Jun breathed out. “Lahat ‘to nangyari while we were all in the dark. So much for brotherhood,” Jun mutters after under his breath.

“It was for the best.” Joshua settles with a tense smile.

Si Wonwoo naman, mapait ang ngiti.

Joshua purses his lips, giving Wonwoo a sympathetic smile.

“If you look at it, yes. Then Kim felt indebted to him for helping him even if Minghao didn’t realize it… I didn’t expect he would move on _you know_ and fall in love with Minghao.”

“Kaya sinabi mo it wasn’t part of the plan,” Wonwoo bitterly bites.

Things were better left unsaid since it’s so damn obvious. Wala siya non eh. Si Minghao iyong nandun. Sino bang hindi mahuhulog ang kalooban doon? Wonwoo was just another person in a billion.

Wala nang nagsalita and Wonwoo seemed to already feel the fatigue kaya kahit nakatayo siya, he stumbled a little backwards. Agad na napalapit iyong dalawa but out of the two, Jun beats Joshua in going near Wonwoo to help him.

“I think you’ve done enough today,” sabi ni Jun kay Joshua while looking at Wonwoo na nahihilo na. Siniksik ni Jun si Wonwoo sa kanyang balikat to help him up. “Don’t ever come back.”

“Jun…” Wonwoo says but it comes out as a soft groan because he’s really getting tired at parang any moment, babagsak na talaga siya ulit. He feels his stomach churn. Masyadong tuyo na lalamunan niya. His fists find Jun’s shoulder.

Wonwoo doesn’t say anything else and only stares at Jisoo who looks at him with so much regret and sympathy but he understands. He’s only so grateful that he’s given a chance to be told the truth. Hindi lahat ng tao nabibigyan ng sagot.

Joshua squats para kunin iyong blazer ni Junhui na nasa sahig at lumapit, extending it to Jun na akbay akbay na si Wonwoo and kinuha naman ni Jun agad.

“Wonwoo…” Joshua starts.

“Someday,” bulong ni Wonwoo, looking out at the window of his penthouse to the skyline of the city nightlife palagi niya tinitingnan for the past five years. It’s one of the comforts he relished in eerie silence.

“I promise.”

Magpapatawad siya balang araw.

[JANUARY, FIVE MONTHS LATER]

Inayos ni Soonyoung buhok ni Wonwoo dahil may strand ng hair palagi na nahuhulog sa noo niya and then pats his chest to dust off the imaginary dust na wala naman dun.

“You look great for someone attending an ex’s engagement party,” sabi ni Soonyoung cheekily and Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “Thirty four, bachelor, and a hottie, Attorney Wonwoo Jeon in the house!” Pag whoop ni Soonyoung.

“Gago,” Wonwoo laughs, shaking his head. “I’m reminding you that I’m coming for Atty. Xu. I’m not there to find a date.”

“Besides I’m already his date, ano pinagsasabi mo,” sabi ni Jun as he emerges galing sa walk in closet ni Wonwoo with a frown on his face. Lumapit siya kay Wonwoo giving him his ring na naiwan niya sa sink.

“Mukha kang bagets, tol ah,” sabi naman ni Soonyoung, laughing habang kinuha ni Wonwoo iyong singsing niya sliding it at his pinky. “Matchy pa kayo ni Uno. Couple outfit ‘yan?”

Wonwoo looks down and realizes that pinili niya is to wear a white, blue vertical striped long seeves polo tucked into his black pants at naka white converse lang siya. They said it wasn’t just a casual dinner so he didn’t find the need to dress that formal.

Tiningnan naman niya si Jun who was wearing a black shirt with blue, grainy big plaids also with the same colored skinny jeans as him at may nakapatong na blue flannel coat that’s thick but it suits his porma well.

“Blue is the new relationship goals,” biro ni Jun habang si Wonwoo tumawa.

Nagmake face lang si Soonyoung at inayos din ang buhok niya. Unlike silang dalawa ni Jun, si Soonyoung kakagaling lang sa client meeting so he’s still in work clothes. Halatang pagod na. Kailan ba silang mga abogado, hindi?

“May idea ka ba sino mga nandun?” tanong ni Soonyoung while fixing his unruly collar and tie.

“Fratmen,” naging seryoso si Junhui nang sinagot niya tanong ni Soonyoung.

Wonwoo’s amusement died down as well at napatingin sa sahig and lahat sila naging tahimik. Si Soonyoung, poor Soonyoung, who was left out with what happened nung nakaraang taon the last time Joshua was here knew nothing.

“You really hate our brods, ano?” sabi, well, _stated_ ni Soonyoung. “Everytime I talk about it, both of you would be quiet. May alam ba kayo na wala ako?”

“No,” Jun answers, his tone clipped.

Obviously, it raises suspicion kay Soonyoung.

“Weh?” Soonyoung asked. “Eh halos pag inaaya ko kayo noon especially after birthday ni Wonwoo, both of you, _especially you Wonwoo_ have been distant.”

Hindi mahilig si Wonwoo magsinungaling and now that Soonyoung was back in his life, mahirap. They shared everything before, but the revelations of Joshua Hong wasn’t to be discussed so lightly, kahit magkafratmen sila.

No one speaks after Soonyoung to pretend they don’t know anything.

“Can we just go?” sabi ni Junhui nang tumingin siya sa relo niya. “Nakakahiya pag nalate tayo,” sabi niya.

“Okay.” Soonyoung drops it pero hindi pa rin siya kumbinsado na there was nothing wrong.

“I opened Mingyu’s files,” Wonwoo blurts out, bago pa man niya mapigilan ang sarili, nang tumalikod si Soonyoung.

Agad siyang pinisil ni Jun sa tagiliran kaya napahangos si Wonwoo at minasamaan ng tingin ito.

Agad din na humarap ulit si Soonyoung eyes wide with curiosity.

“So you know now?”

“What?!” si Wonwoo at Jun ang parehong nagtanong kay Soonyoung.

“So you know now why Mingyu left you?”

Wonwoo felt betrayed. Iyon ang una niyang naramdaman because _Soonyoung knew_ , but what did he expect?

“You know why?” Jun asks, alarmed.

“Nope,” sagot agad ni Soonyoung, shrugging.

Nakahinga ng maluwag si Wonwoo and as usual, Soonyoung loved to give him a heart attack.

Valet iyong parking so the three of them went inside already sa hotel where the restaurant the invitation noted. It’s January 2, the 2nd day of a new year, kaya maraming tao when they entered the lobby pa lang.

Mabuti na lang pala Wonwoo wore a thick jean jacket because unlike Soonyoung na hindi na nagblazer at nakapolo lang with sleeves folded until his elbows, nakita niyang nilamig si Soonyoung.

“Lamig na lamig ka kaagad, bro,” tawa ni Jun, “Gusto mo jacket ko?”

“How gentleman of you,” sarkastikong sabi ni Soonyoung.

Binasa ni Wonwoo iyong invitation ulit, the scented card with formal fonted words na nasa third level daw. “Have you ever been here before?” Wonwoo mumbles.

“I have,” Jun answers, eyeing the giant christmas tree sa gitna nung lobby. “My family and I used to be here a lot.”

“Not to stereotype naman pero is it because this hotel is chinese, mahilig kayong mga chinese dito?” Soonyoung asks, tinitingnan din iyong christmas tree. Pati si Wonwoo napatingin dahil tapos na Christmas, bakit may decoration parin?

“ _You are stereotyping_ ,” Jun flatly says but not bothered. “But I think so, puro Chinese cuisine dito.”

Nakita na nila iyong elevator pero nasa third floor parin so they had to wait. It’s not long when they were about to enter, a voice from the escalators sa harap lang ng elevator stops them.

“Attorney Kwon, attorney Wen?!” May sumigaw sa likod nila at halos nagulat sila when they looked over kung sino iyon.

The man was running down the escalator already and hingal siyang lumapit sa kanilang tatlo. “Attorney Kwon, Atty. Wen. Attorney…” hingal na tawag nung lalaki but he stopped mid sentence nang makita niya si Wonwoo.

“ _Wonwoo_.” His eyes were wide at napangiti lang si Wonwoo.

“It’s been a while, Seungkwan,” bati niya.

Wonwoo counted mentally in his head kung ilang taon na sila hindi nagkikita ni Seungkwan pero madali lang iyon when the last time they saw each other was the same day… that person left.

“What are you doing here?” Seungkwan asks rudely pero hindi niya ata namalayan iyon. Just genuine surprise.

“Attorney Xiu invited me?” Wonwoo says, unsure.

“But _do you even know_ who he’s getting married to?” Hindi makapaniwala talaga iyong mukha ni Seungkwan. As if he’s afraid that Wonwoo knew nothing.

Kinuha ni Wonwoo iyong card na nilagay niya sa loob ng jacket niya at pinakita kay Seungkwan. It was obviously signed by Minghao and his groom.

“Right,” Seungkwan gasped. “Are you okay?!”

Ngayon, napangiti na si Wonwoo stiffly.

“Seungkwan!” tawa ni Soonyoung to save him. “Haha! Nice to see you here! Yes I’m fine, thank you, halika na?” hinablot ni Soonyoung agad si Seungkwan sa loob ng elevators bago pa makareact si Seungkwan kasi hindi naman siya iyong kinakausap.

Wonwoo blinked at inayos lang salamin niya and he feels Jun’s cold hand hold his. Tiningnan niya si Jun who smiles comfortingly. Wonwoo eases his shoulders at pati pakiramdam niya because if it weren’t for Jun the past year, he wouldn’t be able to move forward.

“I’m your date and I got you.”

“Thanks you, attorney,” Wonwoo mumbled at pinisil ang kamay ni Jun. Tinanggal nila sa isa’t isa ang kamay nila at pumasok sa elevator, si Seungkwan hindi makapaniwalang nakatitig kay Wonwoo kaya napangiti nalang siya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> souprice AJHDSJHDJ guys hindi na ako natutuwa.... sobrang inis na ako.... BAKIT NAMAN GANON TATAY KIM!!!!


	6. sobra-sobra ang parusa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there are people meant to find each other but not meant to be together. siguro ganoon nga sila.

“Hey,” beso ni Minghao sa kanya and Wonwoo does the same even holding the other’s waist when he did. Ginawa din ni Jun pero napansin ni Wonwoo na mas matagal niyang ginawa iyon ng how many seconds.

Wala siyang sasabihin.

Before they could enter, Attorney Xu put a hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder, kaya napatigil siya. “Yeah?” tanong ni Wonwoo.

Binigyan lang siya ng worried look ni Minghao that Wonwoo immediately got the meaning.

“It’s your day. I’m going to be fine.” Wonwoo smiles pagkatapos niya sabihin.

Kahit iyong tiyan niya halos mahuhulog na sa kaba. He’s not sure how it will go facing the man again after how many months it passed by and now that he knows _what happened_. He’s not about to let anyone know, though.

They enter the restaurant and there’s not much people sa lawak nito at kinailangan pa nila pumasok sa isa pang pintuan na naghihiwalay sa open space ng mga ibang table. Private room.

“Uy, pare, nandito ka pala.” May binati agad si Soonyoung na mukhang Amerikano pero hindi ito kilala ni Wonwoo.

Katabi niya si Jun nung pinagmasdan niya iyong table and he swallowed subtly to keep his nerves down. Puro mga fratmen nga. Iyong mga iba, mga ibang associates sa firm kaya napatayo agad sila when they saw him and especially Junhui.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua was there sitting quietly sa circular table na hindi tumayo pero nakatingin na sa kanya si Jeonghan with no emotions in his face but with a thoughtful expression.

Wonwoo can’t even look at him kaya kay Joshua siya tumingin na may hawak hawak na menu. He glances at Seungcheol who was also looking at him with a serious expression. They didn’t even bother standing up.

Nakipagkamayan si Wonwoo sa mga associate nila and he caught a glimpse of Minghao’s family sa kabilang table since dalawa iyong nasa loob but none of them were Mingyu.

“Where’s Mingyu? I haven’t seen him in forever,” sabi agad ni Soonyoung and Wonwoo bites his tongue. Umupo sila ni Jun sa table, the same as their fratmen pero sa opposite side.

It was already awkward. Wonwoo sat rather stiffly at kinuha iyong menu.

“May important call lang outside,” sagot ni Minghao with a smile. “You can order what you want now! Ayan lang menu.” The three of them are settled and thanked Minghao bago siya bumalik sa table ng pamilya niya.

“Where is Mingyu?” tanong ulit but ni Jeonghan this time sa harap nila ng malakas at ang ulo niya, kaliwa’t kanan na tinitingnan iyong private room. “He’s outside for too long. It’s his engagement party!” he huffs.

Wonwoo sat stiffly at nanahimik na lamang. Baka may masabi pa siyang hindi maganda.

“An engagement I knew nothing of,” Joshua muttered bitterly sa sarili pero halos rinig nilang lahat sa circular table nila.

Iyong mga ibang kasama nila sa Wen firm sa table, mga tatlo lang naman sila na mga mas bata sa kanila, kung naalala ni Wonwoo, their names were Aji, Coco at Keu. They were the new interns na hinahandle ni Minghao.

They looked out of place dahil siguro hindi sila sanay sa presensya ng mga abogadong kilala nila mataas ang mga posisyon, Wonwoo observes. Inayos niya ulit salamin niya sa ilong na nahuhulog at tiningnan lang ang table.

Biglang tumawa si Soonyoung, making everyone looking at him. Gusto ni Wonwoo tadyakin si Soonyoung sa ilalim ng table pero nakaharang paa ni Jun.

“Even I didn’t! I never thought Attorney Xu would be engaged to a person I knew in law school and disappeared,” Soonyoung says with no filter, whatsoever at ang lakas lakas pa.

May ngisi pa siya as if he knew but Wonwoo convinces himself it’s just his usual cocky act. Walang preno.

“Oh? Attorney Kwon, you’re here,” sabi ni Jeonghan at napataas kilay ni Wonwoo doon. Ganun ba siya kataas sa sarili kaya hindi niya napansin Soonyoung was here? Naaagit si Wonwoo.

Soonyoung was a famous public figure and Jeonghan was not technically. He was only known in the law circle, not to the public masses.

If alam din ni Wonwoo, nang naging abogado si attorney Yoon, he never took a pro bono case. That’s what the rumors say. He really became one of the corporate lawyers for the rich.

“Kanina pa ako nandito, attorney Yoon,” kibitbalikat ni Soonyoung habang pinaglalaruan niya iyong makapal na table napkin. “Were you deliberately not acknowledging my existence?”

“Now who are you for me to do that?” Jeonghan asks back with a sweet smile.

Nakita ni Wonwoo si Seungcheol gumalaw ang kamay niya probably to hold something in Jeonghan, at sumunod na may binulong dito sa tenga and napangiwi agad siya. Dito talaga? Kitang kita.

Junhui cleared his throat sa tabi niya at mga daliri rin niya were drumming sa table. “Ako hindi mo ba babatiin, attorney Yoon?” he jokes but Wonwoo also knows he’s serious.

Kung may katapat din si Jeonghan noon, si Junhui iyon.

Jeonghan chuckles. “No. You’re already up the ranks but you’re still not worthy of my time,” sabi ni Jeonghan at bumola ang mga kamao ni Jun sa sinabi niya.

Naalala ni Wonwoo kung gaano kagalit si Junhui kay Jeonghan sa mga panahon na iyon. Was it because of Joshua? Iyon naisip niya because of the revelation he said a few months ago and they haven’t talked about it ever since.

“Jun, stop,” Wonwoo quietly calms him down.

Ayaw niya ng gulo bago pa magstart iyong dinner. Nakakahiya. At kahit ayaw niya makita si Mingyu, _asan ba siya_? This table will burn down bago pa man dumating ang bumbero.

Pati si Minghao nakatayo sa may pintuan kausap si Seungkwan at iyong Amerikanong lalaki for some reason… paano sila nagkakilala?

Lumingon din siya sa kabilang table where elder people sat and they were also chatting.

To his surprise, may isang matanda na nakatingin sa kanya and he immediately gazed away with discomfort. Lumingon ulit siya sa may pintuan where Minghao was.

Wonwoo thinks this is the third time that it happened. Where his environment spun, blurred, and everything else disappeared.

“Sorry I’m late, it was Prosec. Hindi pa ba dumadating ‘yung mga iba, _love_?”

Sana tinanggalan niyo nalang si Wonwoo ng tenga.

Parang may bumasag sa salaming kahon nakapalibot sa kanya to hide from reality and the coldness washed him painfully.

He watches Mingyu na halikan iyong sentido ni Minghao habang hawak hawak ang bewang nito at may ngiti when he asked Minghao.

“Bastard,” Wonwoo heard Seungcheol curse but it fell deaf again on him. His opinion in exaggerations in the books he read describing the senses when in pain were not true, is being tested right now.

It’s been months since he stood in front of Mingyu who was disheveled when he ran on him galing sa dinner table.

Puno si Wonwoo ng galit noon.

Now he’s done with that anger.

Mahirap din nung mga nakaraang buwan after being told of the truth and looking at Seungcheol and Jeonghan a while ago, parang hindi nila alam na sinabi na sa kanya ni Joshua iyong totoo because he never approached them even after knowing.

Truth be told, Wonwoo was angry again the following weeks pero dahil wala na nga siyang magagawa at nangyari na ang nangyari, naiwan na siyang luhaan, sugatan, at nataniman ng maraming sama ng loob, he decided to let go of every bit of anger left in him and come into a real understanding.

Basag na basag na siya nun eh. Kahit para siyang sirang plaka, palagi niya sinasabi sa kanyang sarili is that he can’t do anything about it anymore.

Inintindi niya dahil sa sitwasyon niya, all he could be is an understanding person because the world is moving too without him and it’s time to catch up kung ayaw niyang maiwan ulit. Ayaw niya na maiwan ulit.

Mingyu was also casually dressed, with a fit black polo na pareho ng brand na palaging sinusuot ni Soonyoung na may kabayo sa dibdib at nakapantalon na hapit.

Mingyu catches his gaze and Wonwoo is not surprised when he blinks in realization na nandoon si Wonwoo, in disbelief.

Sabi ni Minghao hindi alam ni Mingyu na pupunta siya. It was Wonwoo’s request not to tell him.

So it’s a surprise to Mingyu by the look on his face.

Agad na nawala ngiti ni Mingyu at bumitaw sa bewang ni Minghao, approaching their table. Agad na kay Jun ulit si Wonwoo humarap.

“Kyu!” Jeonghan was pouting when he called him. Wonwoo scowled.

Ang dami dami niyang kayang gayahin na mga personalidad that Wonwoo knows was not him because he was a devil in disguise.

“Attorney Choi, attorney Yoon, attorney Hong, interns, attorney Kwon, attorney Wen—“ nakita ni Wonwoo si Jun na nag bigay lang ng ngiti but he knows it’s not genuine but plastic.

“Attorney Jeon.”

Wonwoo cleared his throat at lumingon ulit kay Mingyu, craning his neck at ngumiti. “Prosecutor Kim, congratulations,” siya na ang nauna sa pagbabati nito.

“Thank you,” sabi ni Mingyu with seriousness and caution in his eyes as if sasabog si Wonwoo any moment. Wonwoo rolled his eyes inwardly because that’s not what he’s going to do. Hindi siya animal na hindi makontrol.

Doesn’t mean it didn’t hit a subtle pang in his chest any less, though, but Wonwoo keeps it to himself and would never show it.

“Pare, I didn’t know you’d be married this quick, akala ko you’ll get married at forty, _ya kno_ ,” biglang sabi ni Soonyoung and everyone looks at him.

Wonwoo puts his right foot that Soonyoung will spew stupid shit again and he’s not wrong kaya napabuntong hininga siya nang malalim.

“Happily married with Wonwoo, _U know_ ,” Soonyoung finishes with a shrug.

Jeonghan laughed loudly, iyong tawa niyang halatang peke, “Well things change as time passes by so attorney Kwon,” nawala ang ngiti ni Jeonghan, “If you could shut your mouth maybe the world would become a better place.”

Napahapo na lang si Wonwoo sa kanyang ulo at hinilot ang sentido. Magkaka-World War III any moment dahil pinagsama-sama silang lahat katulad nang dati and it’s obvious that a lot has change.

“Jeonghan,” saway ni Joshua, tilting his head up to look at the ceiling habang narinig ni Wonwoo si Soonyoung bumulong, “Eh kung ikaw nga ‘yung wala.”

They’re still so petty, it’s goddamn crazy, Wonwoo sighs inwardly.

May ngiti ulit si Jeonghan. He’s crazy. “Sorry, _mahal_ , can’t help myself.”

Akala ba ni Wonwoo si Seungcheol ang boyfriend ni Jeonghan? _What was that?_ Kahit si Jun sa tabi niya, nagulat sa endearment dahil ex fling niya iyon or whatever they were back.

Tiningnan ni Wonwoo si Soonyoung na may ngiti rin sa sarili, tuwang tuwa sa mga pangyayari. Diyan talaga siya magaling. Mambardas.

“Well, I hope no one gets into trouble,” sabi lang ni Mingyu habang nakahawak sa sandalan ng vacant na upuan. Kita ni Wonwoo na nagpipigil siya sa puti ng mga daliri niya from his grip. “Please enjoy the food. Minghao is very happy everyone could come.”

A dysfunctional family—perhaps that’s what they were sa table na ito.

Wonwoo excused himself at pumunta siya sa CR with the help of the waiter. He thanks them and pushes the heavy door and it’s cold again sa loob.

He faces the mirror and kita niya ang namumuti niyang mata dahil sa lamig and his lips were cracked dry even if he just drank water a while ago under the dim lighting.

Tinanggal ni Wonwoo salamin niya at nilagay sa counter, itinaas ang handle para buksan iyong tubig. Malakas iyong pagbuhos ng tubig and Wonwoo revels in the silence that comes with it.

Seeing Mingyu at that table, eating with him, like nothing happened for so long is weirding him out. Parang kahapon lang galit na galit siya, but a while ago, he felt.. just alright seeing him.

He wasn’t the least bit interested in what Mingyu kept doing even if nandun siya sa harapan niya. When Mingyu and his eyes kept meeting, his heart beated normally, that it didn’t palpitate the way it was before.

The rage stayed for years but he felt free from it already after his breaking point. He had to let go. Maybe it’s because he chose to let go for himself, Wonwoo realized.

He hears the door open but he doesn’t look and continue washing his hands. Naramdaman niyang nasa tabi niya iyong pumasok.

“Attorney Wen treats you well.”

Mingyu.

“Hello, prosecutor Kim,” Wonwoo chuckles, closing the running water. _A faint beat_. Bakit si Jun ang unang tinanong niya?

“Attorney Jeon,” rinig niya tawag ni Mingyu, trying out to call Wonwoo that for the second time tonight. Wonwoo looks at him and he gives a small smile.

“We’ve come a long way,” iyon lang ang kayang sabihin ni Wonwoo. Hindi niya alam bakit but siguro it has to do with the titles that both of them have. Definitely.

At the age of thirty-five, alam ni Wonwoo na he changed a lot from the once twenty-four year old kid with hopes and aspirations he was. Kasi at the age of thirty-five naabot niya na ang lahat ng iyon.

At the age of thirty-four, Mingyu Kim, did not change physically at all.

Pogi parin siya, parang pabaliktad ang pagtatanda niya. Wonwoo is slightly jealous of that. His own face has subtle lines on his cheeks now.

“I’m so—“

“I shouldn’t ha—“

Sabay sila nagsalita at sabay rin sila tumigil.

Napatawa nalang si Wonwoo, his shoulders not tense like it was when they last spoke. His weak laugh resonated through the walls of the luxurious bathroom.

Looking back, he felt petty for saying a lot of harsh things to Mingyu when they weren’t true. Bugso ng damdamin ba?

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo sighs, hinawakan iyong counter. “I’m sorry for lashing out on you at all the times we saw each other. Honestly, I—“

_Who knew it was the calm before a brewing storm_.

“No,” Mingyu interrupts him, shaking his head. “ _No_ … don’t. Wag. I can’t accept an apology that I don’t deserve,” he says, looking at Wonwoo, his gaze piercing more than ever.

“I’m doing this for me, let me,” sabi ni Wonwoo, looking at the floor uncomfortably. Masyadong malamig na naman.

Walang angal si Mingyu and Wonwoo took it as a sign to continue. Are they really going to talk in the bathroom? It’s unusual but he can take what he can get.

“It’s not true that you weren’t part of how I got to where I am today,” ang inuna ni Wonwoo sabihin because it was the most recent he said.

“It’s because of you that I can proudly say _I_ became a lawyer that I am proud to be without any of your help anymore when I depended on you nung mga panahon na ‘yon.”

He looks at Mingyu’s piercing brown eyes nang sinabi niya iyon and a little bit inside of him breaks when they don’t look proud.

Mingyu looked broken.

“What?” Wonwoo smiles, confused and a little bit breaking inside.

Kita ni Wonwoo na bumaba ang lalagukan ni Mingyu and his head subtly dips down in a defeated manner. Bakit? Isip ni Wonwoo. Bakit mas mukhang nanghinayang siya?

_Anong karapatan niya?_

“I regret leaving you withou—“

Umiling si Wonwoo, “Stop.” Tapos na. Gusto niya na iwanan ang lahat.

Nakita niyang humakbang palapit si Mingyu. “They wouldn’t let me say goodbye. When I left, I thought it was only going to be a week trip—“

“ _Wag_ ,” Wonwoo pleaded ulit, ngarag ang boses. Wonwoo hopes Mingyu won’t say anything anymore at baka mas mapalapit ulit ang kalooban niya when he’s been doing fine these past months.

“But I have to get this out. This is what I believe is best for you… because I think it would be better if I explained para—”

Wonwoo shakes his head forcefully.

“No. I’m fine. _We_ _’_ _re fine_ ,” Wonwoo assures, panicking. “Tapos na tayo at tama na yung narinig ko. I don’t want to hear anymore, please.”

It seems like what he said falls deaf to Mingyu at gulat ito. His brows were furrowed, confused, not getting what Wonwoo was implying.

Narealize din ni Wonwoo he slipped up, telling Mingyu na may alam siya. He beats himself up internally because it will get more complicated now na alam ni Mingyu may alam siya.

“ _Narinig mo_?” tanong ni Mingyu, if what he heard was right. Kita ni Wonwoo na kumuyom ang kamao niya. “ _What do you know?_ I never said anything, you never gave me the chance to tell you anything—”

“And you never gave me the chance to say goodbye? So I think we’re even. I just want everything to stop, Mingyu. Hindi ka pa ba pagod?” Wonwoo asks weakly.

Humawak sa malamig na counter si Wonwoo, feeling the cold marble on his fingertips para alalayan ang sarili. He was already doing good.

But at this moment, parang bumalik lang ang naramdaman niya when he was too wrapped up in his anger. He was already feeling exhausted from where the conversation is going.

“Pagod? Ako tatanungin mo kung pagod ako? Ano ang alam mo, Wonwoo? Ano alam mo sa pinagdaanan ko nung mga taong nawala ako?”

Wonwoo squeezes his eyes shut, his head already feeling a throb of pain sa mga pinagsasabi ni Mingyu.

“Pagod na pagod ako maglinis ng kalat ng tatay ko, Wonwoo. It took me _long, exhausting_ years. Sa tingin mo ba ikaw lang nahirapan? We’re even now? What is that? You wont even let me make up for it.”

“Make up for it?” Wonwoo breathes out, opening his eyes again, glaring at Mingyu. There’s another seering fire that’s growing in his heart. “Ilang taon na lumipas. Ilang taon kong hinintay ‘yang explanation mo! You were the one who didn’t reach for me! Bakit parang kasalanan ko pa ngayon na gusto ko na lumaya sa sakit na binigay sakin at hindi ko hiningi?”

Mingyu looked frustrated. “Wala akong sinasabi na kasalanan mo, attorney Jeon. I just… you’re not trying to look at things in my perspective. I was doing my best in those years. I hurt you for other people who my father hurt. I’m sorry it had to be that way but _it also broke me_ , Wonwoo.”

Gusto na umalis ni Wonwoo but his feet stay planted in the tiles, not willing himself to move away, to walk away.

“And I’m doing this for myself. I’ve heard enough. Hirap na hirap ako ayusin sarili ko, Mingyu. It broke you but I can see you’re fixed now. While I’m still in the process of healing myself…” Wonwoo lets out a shaky breath. “Ikakasal ka na. I.. I just want to be genuinely happy for you and I could only do that if you _stop_.”

Wonwoo should know by now that Mingyu doesn’t stop.

“ _This is why you let me explain_!” sigaw ni Mingyu na nag echo sa banyo. Wonwoo sees the fire ablazed in his eyes when he looks at Wonwoo. “ _Who the fuck told you I am fixed_?! Just because I found comfort in Minghao I’m already fixed? That isn’t it, Wonwoo.”

“Then what is it?!” Wonwoo shouts back, he can feel himself breaking but not yet, not in front of Mingyu. Kung gusto niya patunayan that he’s doing alright, he can’t crumble in front of the man who made him who he is today.

“I-explain mo sakin ngayon! Bakit?! Gaano kahirap sabihin yung _Paalam_. Isang salita! Isang salita lang pinagkait mo pa sakin,” Wonwoo sobs but not a single tear come out of his dry eyes, and only the sound of his throat wheezing out his words painfully.

Mukhang hindi na alam ni Mingyu ang sasabihin. It takes him a while to formulate words. He splutters, “I didn’t get the chance to and now.. this is my second chance…”

“Then let’s end it here,” desididong sabi ni Wonwoo, “Give me the closure I deserve.”

“That’s why I want to expl—” Mingyu splutters again but Wonwoo is quick now to finally stop him. Tama na.

Wonwoo believes Mingyu’s answer isn’t the closure he deserves. It’s letting go and letting Mingyu help him find his inner peace with leaving things as it is.

Wonwoo lets himself go near Mingyu one last time.

Mingyu welcomes him, welcomes his touch in the cheek, Wonwoo lets himself hold Mingyu sa huling pagkakataon as he says. They breathe in each other’s space one last time like they were supposed to meant to be at doon natanto ni Wonwoo that this is going to be the best decision.

Because they weren’t. Kung pinaghiwalay sila nang una palang, then they weren’t really meant to be. Because now, Wonwoo believes, in any angle or matter how they look at it, kung aalis at aalis talaga si Mingyu, their love would be a lost cause.

“We would still fall apart even if you chose to say goodbye,” bulong ni Wonwoo nang tingnan niya si Mingyu sa mga mata, pouring all his emotions in the last look he knows he will give Mingyu, “You were risking your life to clean up your father’s mess. I would’ve still been left wondering if you’d come back and I think that would hurt either way.”

Ito ang dapat, kumbinsi ni Wonwoo sa sarili sa ginawang desisyon at mukhang naintindihan na ni Mingyu. Na kahit patawarin siya, hindi na siya pwedeng bumalik ng ganoon ganoon nalang.

Hinayaan ni Wonwoo bumagsak ang ulo niya at maramdaman ang pagkadampi ng malalamig na labi ni Mingyu sa kanyang noo and they stay like that in silence.

One last time.

Wonwoo feels Mingyu’s hand hold on top of his and squeeze it lightly.

“Is this what you want?” Mingyu mumbles in his forehead and Wonwoo finds himself hesitantly nodding.

It is what it has to be.

“Don’t go,” bulong ni Mingyu and it pains Wonwoo to hear because his voice breaks. “ _Not yet_ ,” sabi ni Mingyu dahil alam niyang sa dulo, Wonwoo will need to leave.

“One minute,” Wonwoo compromises and he feels Mingyu nod a little at that and agree.

A minute turns into a second that fast.

“Time’s up,” Wonwoo breathes out at hinawakan ni Mingyu ang magkabilang balikat niya to push him away gently and make them stare at each other.

“Another minute?” Mingyu offers pero napatawa si Wonwoo, shaking his head, a painful smile leaving him.

“Bawal na, _love_ ,” he jokes.

Mingyu sighs. “How did we come from hating to each other to loving each other and going back to square one?”

“You’re Mingyu and I’m Wonwoo,” Wonwoo shrugs. “From love, to attorney and prosecutor, I think tinadhana talaga tayong ganun,” he weakly says.

Wonwoo holds Mingyu’s hands in his shoulders and slips them away. Nahulog ang mga kamay ni Mingyu sa tabi niya and the taller slouches in defeat.

“I should probably tell you who I really am and what I found that everything’s fixed. It’s what I at least owe you…”

Umiling si Wonwoo. Hindi na dapat. What he owes Wonwoo is to let him be and finally heal.

“Tapos na tayo, Prosecutor Kim.”

He turns back and leaves an unmoving Mingyu. Hindi na kita ni Mingyu ang pagpatak ng isang luha at pagpunas niya nito pagkalabas niya.

All Wonwoo could think is his first shot at love was a tragic one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're in the end. :-)


	7. bakit sa iyo pa nagka-gusto?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ito na ang huli. ang huling katotohanan.

Maliit ang mundong ginagalawan nila pero malawak parin ang lupa.

Hindi na sila nagkita.

“It’s been a year,” sabi niya kay Junhui na katabi niya sa elevator paakyat ng courtroom na assigned sa kanya. Junhui was with him because both of them were working on this case. “I still wonder why we don't bump into each other. I thought he moved here?”

“Oh, Prosecutor Kim told me not to tell you he moved back to Bataan.”

Wonwoo’s head snapped kay Junhui, “ _What_?!”

Napaayos ng relos si Junhui, chuckling. “He told me na he doesn’t have a purpose dito sa Manila.”

“ _Are you serious_?” Wonwoo asked, shell shocked. “How about Minghao?”

“Minghao’s planning to transfer there. In Seungcheol’s firm,” Junhui seriously explained at napaawang labi ni Wonwoo… that meant the firm was going to lose Atty. Xu and it’s going to suck dahil isa siya sa mga trophy lawyers ng firm.

“Why am I only hearing this now?” Napasimangot si Wonwoo at nagping ang elevator nang magbukas ito. Lumabas sila at kumanan sa hallways naturally since they memorize the building at the back of their hand.

“Minghao just sent the notice last week. I was too pre-occupied to inform you,” sabi ni Junhui at napakunot na lang noo ni Wonwoo. “Someone replaced him, though. It’s the prosecutor you are up against today.”

Biglang naalala ni Wonwoo iyong sinabi sa kanya ni Aji who was now under his wing. That’s why Aji was suddenly assigned to him a few months ago at malapit na rin magBAR ang bata.

They became close and turing na rin ni Wonwoo dito ay anak-anakan. Mabait naman kasi siyang mentor unlike the others. He heard Aji says Coco was suffering in the hands of Attorney Chwe, iyong kausap ni Seungkwan pala noon na lumipat sa law firm nila in Minghao’s recommendation.

Naalala niya na sabi ni Aji the PAO was in a rampant with the declining rate ng Prosecutors sa branch na iyon pero marami naman ang nadadagdagan na mga kaso sa syudad so they couldn’t say yet who was the Prosec for Wonwoo’s case now.

“Do you know who?” tanong ni Wonwoo nang makarating sila sa harap ng pintuan ng court room. Inaayos parin ni Junhui ang relos niya at umiling.

“No clue… but I heard rumors.”

Tiningnan din ni Wonwoo relos niya na five minutes early pa sila sa hearing at malamang, nasa loob na iyong mga kliyente nila. Inayos din niya kwelyo sa vest niya.

“What rumors?” Wonwoo asks, intrigued ng kaunti or well, for the sake ng hearing ngayon, he can take what he can get para malaman kung baka ito ang makakaharap niya today.

“He’s tall, dark, and handsome….” Junhui says at binibigyan si Wonwoo ng mukha na hindi niya naman alam ano. Hindi rin niya naappreciate dahil akala niya makakatulong ito.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Wonwoo points out, hindi niya lang namalayan, defensively.

“Mga tipuhan mo ‘yon eh,” sabi ni Junhui na may ngisi.

“ _Ungas_.” Wonwoo scowls. It’s not like he’s going to date anytime soon again kahit na isang taon na ang nakalipas. Hindi pa siya handa ulit pero kung may dumating man… bahala na.

Hindi naman siya actively seeking out a relationship but hindi rin siya opposed to it, either. Ang mahalaga for the past year or so, inayos niya sarili niya.

“Natawag pa akong ungas, look at your ex,” tawa ni Junhui as he pushes the door open at bati sa kanila ang dami ng mga tao sa mga pews because this was a rather big case.

They were dealing with a bus driver na naaksidente kasama ang mga isang dozena niyang pasaherong mga bata. Turns out, one of the students is a child of a rich CEO. Ayun, kinasuhan kliyente nila.

Malamig na naman sa trial court at agad na tiningnan agad ni Wonwoo iyong side ng prosecution para makita niya sino iyong tao sa opposite counsel. Nakasalamin naman siya but he still squints dahil nakaupo ito sa malaking black swivel chair at halos kaunting kalahati lang ng katawan niya ang kita.

“ _Attorney_ ,” biglang tawag ng babae sa gilid niya. Tiningnan niya ito at sinalubungan ng magandang ngiti to comfort the woman who he knows is the bus driver’s wife. “Parang awa po, kahit magkano pa bayaran ko, huwag niyo lang po ipapakulong asawa ko. Maayos po magdrive asawa ko. Parang anak na rin ang turing niya sa mga pasahero niya kaya hindi niya kahit kailan papabayaan ang mga bata. Alam kong hindi siya maaksidente nang ganoon lang.”

Nakatingin lang si Wonwoo sa matandang babae na kilala niya bilang si Mrs. Lee at sa likuran niya nakaupo, na sinilip niya, anak nilang si Chan na nakasimangot.

“I promise you, Mrs. Lee. You won’t even pay a single cent for the damages,” Wonwoo assures with a firm nod.

Handa naman siya ngayon. He has enough evidence to prove the driver is innocent at hindi naman siya iyong rason bakit sila naaksidente. If he will play his cards right, he did his part at _Diyos mahibagin_ , the Judge does his job right to pass judgement.

Pumunta na si Wonwoo sa upuan niya nang dire-diretso without looking at the Prosecution’s side at inayos ang mga papel niya kung saan isinulat niya kagabi lahat arguement points pati iyong dala dala ni Junhui that’s their trump card.

“Attorney Jeon,” Biglang may tumawag sa kabila ni Wonwoo at napatingin agad siya sa lumapit sa kanya.

“Prosecutor Cha,” bati ni Wonwoo at nakipagkamayan sa maputlang lalaki.

Hindi parin nagbabago si Prosecutor Cha at maputla pa rin nga. Years of working against him a lot of times, alam ni Wonwoo kung paano ito gumalaw pag sa korte pero aaminin niyang ito pinakamahirap niyang kalaban parati. Malakas din ang karisma ni Prosecutor Cha dahil may magandang mukha and he speaks eloquently.

“I have a new prosecutor with me so go easy, yeah?” Prosecutor Cha joked and Wonwoo raises a brow.

“He just passed the BAR some year ago and diretso prosecution agad siya. He also has a double degree with medicine.”

“Wow.” Napahanga si Wonwoo dahil hindi biro magkadouble degree in their age. Nakayanan niyang ipagsabay ang pagmemedicine and law? Hindi na kaya ni Wonwoo mag aral nang ganoon. Hindi talaga tulong iyong rumors na sinabi ni Junhui.

“And you expect me to go easy on him? I only graduated JD,” Wonwoo deadpanned habang tumawa lang si Prosecutor Cha with a smirk.

“Well. Goodluck, Wonwoo. I hope justice is served,” sabi ni Eunwoo ng seryoso at tumango lang din si Wonwoo.

Despite being up against each other many times to count na sa ilang mga taon, they are good friends but they never brought their friendship in court. Seryoso sila sa trabaho nila. Pag magkikita sila sa labas, pagtatawanan nalang nila.

Pagbalik ni Eunwoo sa side niya, binalikan ni Wonwoo si Junhui na mukhang namutla.

“Why do you look like that?” he asks habang iginala ang mga mata sa mukha ni Junhui na mukhang gulat na gulat, nakakapit sa upuan nang mahigpit.

“What did Eunwoo say about the new prosecutor?” tanong ni Junhui.

“May double degree siya with law and medicine? He just passed the BAR a year ago and is only practicing now, why?” Wonwoo says, confused. This brings back to the time na si Joshua rin namutla nung sinabi niyang ikakasal na si Minghao at Mingyu.

“Then why the fuck does he _exactly_ look like Mingyu when we know he didn’t do medicine and passed the BAR with us _seven years ago_?”

[JULY, 2016]

Lasing si Wonwoo at hindi niya kaya maglakad pa. He’s stumbling everywhere. He’s in the sidewalk somewhere in fucking Pasig na hindi niya na namalayan kung saan saan na siya napadpad para uminom.

Anniversary nila ni Mingyu ngayon and even if for the past two years he didn’t reminisce it dahil sa work, this week sa work was so fucking bad that he is caught up with the pain again.

It’s been, _binilang ni Wonwoo sa ulo niya kahit lasing_ , almost three years nang nawala si Mingyu and in these years, it still hurts like hell. It stings. It still pulls him down and he doesn’t know how to pull himself up.

With a stained dress shirt of alcohol, he is in the streets of Pasig drunkenly walking in the paveways of the bars he went to. Puro mga bata pa nga ang nakakasalubong niya, mga college students ata, and some even try to hit on him but he’s too drunk to care and just swat them away.

Ang lala. Feeling niya hindi na siya makatayo and he’s just crawling but good thing, kaya pa ng mga legs niya since he’s been hitting the gym also these days.

At napagod na rin si Wonwoo at mukhang susuka na ulit siya when he swallows it all in again and it leaves a really bitter taste in his throat kaya napangiwi siya.

Look at him, he’s a damn top paid lawyer sa firm pero ito lang ang ginagawa niya. Uminom. He’s still surprised sa dami nang nainom niya, hindi niya nararamdaman iyong allergic reactions. He still must be drinking good alcohol then at hindi iyong cheap.

Humihinga lang nang malalim si Wonwoo dahil naduduwal na naman siya nang natapilok siya and he was ready to brace himself from the impact ng aspalto but it never came.

Imbes na aspaltong matigas, mga biyas na matigas ang sumalo sa kanya at nakabangga niya dahil nasa harapan siya ng isang restaurant bar ngayon, he thinks, based on his blurry eyesight dahil nawala niya na salamin niya somewhere.

“What the fuck?”

Iyon ang narinig ni Wonwoo when he holds into the thick arms that caught him at agad siyang napasquint, looking up at the person who had a deep voice that cursed nung sinalo siya.

In the middle of his blurred eyesight, lightheadedness at naduduwal na state, hindi naman niya makakalimutan mag _thank you_ to whoever made sure he’s not going to end up looking bruised tomorrow dahil may hearing pa siya bukas.

Magtra-trabaho siya ng may hang over. Bakit ba? He’s good naman eh.

“Thanks,” Wonwoo drunkenly slurred nang inangat niya ang tingin niya sa asphalt savior niya.

It’s a weird dream, he immediately thought. He’s drunk. Sabi nila when you’re drunk you tend to hallucinate or you are too smashed that even if you’re actually awake, pag gising mo bukas, aakalain mo nanaginip ka lang.

“ _Mingyu_?” Wonwoo slurs as the face of the reason why he is like this today is in front of him. Nanlaki agad ang mga mata ni Wonwoo at itinulak ang lalaki na nakasimangot at nakakunot ang noo sa galit.

“ _Who the fuck are you_?”

“Mingyu?” tanong ulit ni Wonwoo nang kumakabog ang puso niya sa maraming mga emosyon sa pagkakita ng lalaki sa harapan niya. Ilang beses siya kumukurap because he might be seeing things. He’s drunk. Ayaw niya mag hallucinate nang ganito.

He feels another bile rising up his throat and sa ngayon, he will call the guy na kaharap niya ngayon _Mingyu_ _’_ _s twin_ dahil pwede ‘tong tao na ‘to maging kambal ni Mingyu kung meron man siya but ang naalala lang ni Wonwoo in his alcohol induced state na may older deceased brother lang ito so it’s _impossible_.

This guy also looked nothing like the Mingyu he knew dahil nakaputi itong uniform, mukhang nurse, and he has a gut feeling na naging abogado si Mingyu kaya imposible talaga. Kudos para sa kanya na nakakapag isip pa nang kung ano ano kahit lasing na siya when he’s probably just hallucinating.

So Mingyu’s twin o kung ano man pangalan niya’s eyes widened and Wonwoo thinks nasa harap sila ng isang restaurant bar kung saan ito kakalabas lang katabi ng eskinita, at doon siya hinila nung lalake. Biglang dumilim ang paligid.

Saktong sakto, inilabas lahat ni Wonwoo ang umakyat galing sa lalamunan niya.

“ _Fuck_! So annoying,” narinig niya iyong guy maghiss sa tabi niya nung idinuwal ni Wonwoo lahat ng ininom niya and it burned his throat, as well as he could taste the mixture sa kanyang bibig at sa ilong niya rin. Humawak siya sa pader, rather swaying, para isandal ang sarili at ang ulo nakayuko.

“You’re not going to kill me here in this alley way, will you?” Wonwoo drawled, his vision spinning. Sa pader lang siya nakatingin dahil ayaw niya tingnan iyong lalaki na kamukha ng tao na rason kung bakit siya nagkakaganito.

“It would be ironic for me, a doctor just to kill drunkards like you in the alleyways, wouldn’t it?”

Ang lalim ng boses at ang taray magsalita. He doesn’t have a lisp like Mingyu but he does have the same voice like him, but lower. Definitely distinct. Kahit na parang pinupukpok na iyong ulo ni Wonwoo, gusto niya ulit ito mas ipukpok for even comparing a damn stranger that only resembles him.

“Wow, a doctor,” Wonwoo sarcastically says. “No wonder you sound so arrogant and FYI, _abogado_ ako. I passed the BAR and worked hard,” he spat pagkatapos niyang dumura sa sobrang panget ng lasa ng idinuwal niya.

Wonwoo turns around to tell the doctor guy that but his breathe just hitches again dahil sa kabilang side kung saan sila nanggaling, tumapat ang ilaw sa mukha ng lalaki and he just looked like a lot like Mingyu. Except for he didn’t have a mole on the right side. He had on the left. Nananaginip siya.

Nanlilisik ang mga mata nito na minamasamaan siya ng tingin na akala mo nasira ang buhay niya dahil nahablot siya ni Wonwoo sa eskinita at may balak gawin. Maybe if he didn’t look like Mingyu so much, pwede na sunggaban ni Wonwoo. The man is hot, he’s not going to lie.

“I passed my own board too, you’re not special. Besides, you are a drunkard,” sabi ni Mingyu’s twin like it’s the only acceptable answer of who Wonwoo is na hindi naman siya.

Hindi naman sila magkakilala.

“It’s just a one time thing,” pabalik na sinabi ni Wonwoo.

“Right.” The guy rolled his eyes. “You’re not the first one who told me that. Are you not afraid it could be the reason why you might get disbarred?”

“What the hell,” sabi lang ni Wonwoo at minasahe ang magkabilang sentido niya. “Ang daldal mo.”

Of course he knows if naging drunkard siya, pwede siya madisbarred pag nakaabot sa IBP but that’s not ever going to happen dahil isang beses lang gagawin ‘to ni Wonwoo.

Wala nang sinabi ang lalaki at tumalikod lang para umalis na but Wonwoo is out of it na hinila niya ulit iyong braso ng lalaki—which is quite nice to hold for a moment, by the way.

“Where are you going?” tanong ni Wonwoo, lasing, at nanghihina na ang katawan niya kaya hinigpitan niya ang kapit niya sa braso nung lalaki. His muscles are really hard for a doctor.

Nilingon siya ni Mingyu’s twin and under the alley light, kita ulit ni Wonwoo sa hazy vision niya ang slits sa mga mata nito pagtingin sa kanya.

The throb on his head is just becoming worst dahil pinipilit ni Wonwoo ang sarili na tingnan ang taong kaharap niya nang totoo because he believes Mingyu’s face in this guy is just a figment of his drunk imagination.

“I am a doctor. I have no time for this. I have lives to save.”

“ _And I_ _’_ _m a drunk lawyer who_ _’_ _s about to collapse_.”

Iyon lang ang sabi ni Wonwoo before everything turns black.

[PRESENT TIME]

The trial ended with Mr. Lee getting acquitted, free of charges or any settlement, because Judge Boa and the jury found him not guilty.

Wonwoo did his job right at ang gaan sa pakiramdam na makita ang mag asawa, at lalo na ang mag ina nito, maging masaya dahil hindi magiging kriminal ang kanilang padre de pamilya.

Masaya din ang mga magulang ng mga bata na sumasakay sa bus ni Mr. Lee because as much as they didn’t want the accident to happen, Mr. Lee was not the one at fault and it’s the drunk driver that rammed into them at red light.

Can’t say for the other side, though.

Kahit nakakapagod ang ginagawa niya, kahit ilang taon din ang inilaan niya para mag-aral, it will always be worth it in the end kapag naipagtanggol niya ang mga taong alam niyang karapatdapat na mabigyan ng hustisya.

Wonwoo feels great—that’s until naalala niya he has to face a man he remembers very well and is looking like an exact _carbon copy_ of his ex-boyfriend.

Muntikan na rin magwala iyong matapobre na CEO na nagfile nung kaso at sugurin na sana si Wonwoo papunta sa kanya pero pinigilan ito sa braso nung bagong prosecutor.

Nagtugma ang mga mata nila and Wonwoo felt his heart palpitate on his chest.

It feels different to look at him even if he exactly looked like Mingyu.

Ang weird.

Hindi niya maintindihan.

Gusto na agad umalis ni Wonwoo sa court room with Junhui at hinawakan niya na ang braso dapat hihilain siya palabas dahil Jun kept insisting to stay to talk to that doppleganger or whatever ni Mingyu because he’s curious.

That was his plan. Until naabutan sila.

“ _Attorney Jeon_.”

Tapos na ito makipag usap sa kliyente niya at lumabas na lang ito na madilim ang ekspresyon sa mukha most especially in Wonwoo’s direction. He just sighs because he’s used to it and he just hopes this man doesn’t brew any other trouble.

“Gotta blast!” sabi ni Junhui at dala dala ang brief case niya, lumabas ng courtroom in a sprint _parang tanga_ at sinarado ang pintuan on his way out. Wala kasing hearing na gagamit nitong room ayon sa schedule.

Tiningnan lang ni Wonwoo kung nasaan si Junhui bago siya umalis because it’s fucking awkward to be in a place alone with someone who exactly looks like his ex.

At _kapangalan_.

He’s confused. He’s scared. He met him before, he was sure. When he was drunk. Some parts of that night were coming back.

“I see you weren’t disbarred,” sabi nung lalaki. Tunog disappointed pa na hindi siya nadisbar dahil he obviously only saw his recklessness that night.

“Of course I’m not,” Wonwoo snaps instantly. “Who the hell are you?”

Hindi na agad nagpaligoy-ligoy pa si Wonwoo. Tiningnan niya ulit ang mga mata ni Prosecutor Kim who was not the Prosecutor Kim he knew.

What’s weird is that even if he exactly looked like the person he loved for almost a decade, standing in front of this man, didn’t feel like he was the Mingyu Kim he knew. Something about him was different. He’s not the same person.

Mingyu had a mole on his right cheek, this guy had a lot on his left. Mingyu had a lisp, this guy spoke straightly. Mingyu was tall, this guy was taller. Most of all, Mingyu was never arrogant. He was an asshole nung nagkita ulit sila sure but this guy…

Wonwoo saw him as a walking piece of shit.

Nakakairita tingnan kahit gwapo at ang galing magsalita, iyon ang common nila ng Mingyu na kilala niya.

Kahit nanalo si Wonwoo, this guy still looked as if he won.

“You know my name already,” sabi ni Doppleganger na may taas ng kilay.

“I know your name but I don’t know _who_ you are,” giit ni Wonwoo. What is up with tall, dark and handsome males with their superior nature? Porket gwapo sila? Katangkaran? Matalino? Dahil naka double degree ito?

“Fine. I’m the real Mingyu Kim and my twin brother, _your ex_ , had my identity all this time he thought I was dead. Happy?”

Walang masabi si Wonwoo at napaawang lang ang labi niya.

“Now that’s out in the open, Attorney Jeon, I want to tell you that I’ve been looking for you these past years ever since that night and as annoyed as I am, _I think_ I’m in love with you. I even became a lawyer for you to find you.”

Wonwoo is speechless.

“Please be responsible for my feelings.”

**Author's Note:**

> If naabot mo ang dulo, hello, I am sorry. Thank you. Book 2 soon, char!
> 
> This was a rollercoaster to write at hindi ko talaga alam saan lahat 'tong halos 50k nanggaling in a span of one month. As in, writing machine talaga ako kada-gabi and send lang ako nang send sa beta ko ng chapters, lol. Hindi talaga 'to yung plano pero tamad ako so ito ginawan ko ng paraan and WHO DOESN'T LOVE AN OPEN ENDING WITH A PLOT TWIST chour baka hindi niyo nagustuhan which I completely understand.
> 
> But without being said, thank you!!! for supporting me in this fest!!! Kung ano mang feedback niyo tungkol sa fic na 'to, tatanggapin ko pa iyan ng buong buo kahit sigawan niyo po ako.
> 
> I hope, also, you don't take this fic seriously at all. Hindi ganito ka-complex ang life ng mga abogado, but their line of work, is still very much, dangerous. Hindi naman ganito na ganito ang frats. Hindi nga ba? Joke. But in all seriousness, everything I wrote is just out of pure imagination to indulge myself as a sucker for legal fiction. I also love the game series. Alam niyo 'yun? I took inspiration from that. That is def the bible of legal fiction for me.
> 
> AGAIN!! Thank you so much! Sa Mods, to the prompter, to everyone. Here's to more SVT filipino fics!


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